Josmatjes Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Jos...he sounds awfully manipulative. Do you think he just wanted to prove that you were still "there"? So he could go poof and know you were still hanging around, thinking of him, secure in the knowledge that he still had some effect on you? I mean, you specifically said you are not okay with waiting around not hearing from him. He said, of course, that was wrong of me. And...did it again. He is making sure he has control. Hell, the best case scenario is that he literally doesn't care how you feel at all. He said he did, but he lied. Either he 1) whoops, doesn't care, or 2) did all of that on purpose. Is there another option? It's familiar to me... Yes! I think he did it on purpose to get his power back! I rebuffed him and he couldn't handle it. And the worst part is that my husband is getting ready to move out, we are separating for a year and I'm scared and nervous and I mentioned it to him and instead of maybe being a nice guy he saw the wound , and poured salt in it. What a total *******! There is always a hope that the person that you loved will open his eyes and be the person he was during the affair. I tend to be very forgiving and I try to see all sides but this was truly a **** thing to do to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author midlifewife Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 Ugh! I can't believe what so many of us have gone through or are going through with this. I laugh at myself because practically the whole time I've known him, I have gone back and forth (sometimes in the same dang day!) between referring to him in my head as f***er and sweet boy. He is so much of BOTH!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author midlifewife Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Just an update on my situation. About a week after I sent him my 'goodbye' email, and hadn't heard anything back, I was really disappointed that he didn't even have the decency to respond and say something nice about our time together (almost daily communication for several months). I figured he may have thought it was better not to say anything since I wanted to end it (and told him it was hard for me to do). I decided to send one last email expressing my disappointment in not hearing from him and saying it would have been nice to get a kind note. No response even to that. Really pathetic. That was enough to solidify my decision to not contact him any more. So, now it's been about a month since his last contact with me, and just this past weekend, I realized I'd gotten over the 'addiction' to him and didn't feel torn up when he crossed my mind. Then on Monday, I get a text, 'Good Morning beautiful'. I just responded very basic, hello what's up. And then nothing! I am convinced that he meant that message to go to someone else. It did make me chuckle a bit thinking about his panic when he realized he sent it to me. The great news is that that didn't trigger me back into wanting to talk to him. Yay for me!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NewLeaf512 Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 I still am hurt that my mm never said a word and I analyze it. Did he think it was better not to say anything? Or just better for him? I'm in the same situation as you. MM rarely think of us. Thrown under the bus and that is right where you are. I struggle some things to understand. X Link to post Share on other sites
Starbright78 Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Midlife wife- I too couldn't believe he didn't even have the decency to respond to my long email and I was in shock really. I couldn't believe after 2 yrs I wasn't even worth it to him to say he was sorry to me and it bothered me for a while. I'm now at two and a half months of NC and about a two weeks ago something clicked. I just don't care anymore. I have realized that it was for the best and this is what I wanted so who cares if he didn't respond. I can see his true colors and the reality of what our affair was. I think I'm at the anger stage. But, I feel better, I feel more at peace and I'm enjoying leading one life and not two. I'm glad I ended it and I'm off the rollercoaster! Link to post Share on other sites
Dutchman1 Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 So not even divorced, and the next one is already in the picture. The ultimate cake eater. I feel sorry for your H, give him my regards. And for Jos, I feel sorry for you, been hoping for you, and now so afraid that you'll be sucked in again. We all know your story, and I have respect for you as a human and a mom, not so much for being a great wife. But I really hoped for you and your family to be one team again. You need a symbolic kick in the a$$. You worked so F hard. Jos take care of yourself. Dutchman 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts