will_woman Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 I am just wondering how long did one's divorce process take? I guess for mine will be dragging on......We have been separated since end 2003 and he even initiated a anulment petition based on BIG FAT LIES (he was turn around to accuse me when he was at fault as he found new woman) in mid 2004. So I contested it and he withdrew it. Now, I am preparing to raise petition (mine are true facts) and he is palying hide and seek with me. He never authorised his lawyer to take the service on his behalf. Making things difficult for me. I have to serve him the petition overseas now. Why is dumper making things difficult for dumpee? I thought he wanted freedom and now I am giving to him but he avoids it. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 mine took almost 18 months and i had no kids and no house cause we lived in an apt. we were bickering over little bullshyt things and only ones who won out were both lawyers. good luck you will need it. my little brother go married and filed for divorce one month later. it took more than a year for the divorce to finalize and they had no kids either. Link to post Share on other sites
soccorsilly Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Every state is different. Mine took me a few days over three months, but that is because you can accellerate things under certain circumstances--adultery being one of them. When I filed in August of 2000, I instructed my attorney to push full steam ahead because I did not want my kids drug through a long process involving court and lost hopes that Mommy and Daddy would get back together. It got a bit ugly for a while and then I explained that everyone is losing here--me, you, the kids, and our families. The lawyers are the winners. Much to the chagrin of our attorneys we settled the property crap ourselves. I created an Excel worksheet essentially listing all of our "stuff" with a HIS side and a HER side. We each got a copy and a week to check off what we wanted to take post divorce. It was detailed to pots and pans, etc. I also put a replacement value on each item (not usually used in court but good for us) so we could see what each other was getting in terms of "value" out of the marraige. After a week, we swapped lists and there were literally only a dozen items that were contested. We talked and explained our reasoning and agreed. We called the attorneys and told them we had the property settlement done and they were madder than a hornet--they would have preferred a court to assign the property. But I have heard of many going on forever. I hear the actual process of running therough the courts is anywhere from 3 to 6 months in most places but they all have diffreernt requirements before you get there--neeed to be separated for X months, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Mine's still in the process. It's been 3 months so far, but I'm taking my time because I couldnt handle the emotions and think logically. We still have to sell the house, but we're in the process of dividing up the assets right now, and prepare the house to be sold. Our divorce wont be final until a year. Yipee I will always remember the day, since it was valentines. Atleast every valentines day after will be SOOOOO much better, even if i'm eating kraft dinner in front of the tv watching sad girly movies Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Because we had a teenage daughter, it was recommended that we separate legally for a period of two years to be sure there was no chance of reconciliation. We were to live separate and apart, but if at any time during that 24-month period we were to have sexual relations or even spend the night under the same roof, it would be enough grounds for either party to contest the divorce at the final hearing. I even had to bring two witnesses before the Magistrate to testify that there was no evidence of reconciliation. My lawyer also drafted the contract to read that we were living as individual, separate entities…which means we were permitted to see other people during this time without it being considered 'adultery'. Our divorce was amicable. There were never any conflicts over property settlement or custody issues. We were very fair and civil with each other. As a matter of fact, we were more cooperative with each other during those two years then we ever were during our fifteen-year marriage. I think we were both ready by that time to just move on. If it had gone another way, or if either of us truly didn't want the divorce, I'm sure it would have been strung out indefinitely as it often does for many folks. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 It depends on where you live. If you had kids. Community property. If your exhusband skipped the country, depending on what state you live in, you might be able to get a divorce without his consent. I am in the process of finishing mine because my exhusband is in prison, which happens to be one of the qualifiers that allow me to just divorce him without his consent or signatures or anything. But we didn't own anything together. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Three months. We agreed on everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Four months, we didn't fight it out. I gave in, in other words. Link to post Share on other sites
debs Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 8 Months only because I refused to pay for anything more for that man! Normally when adultery is the causative factor it would have been done immediately! Normally 3 months here in Illinois, 6 months when you have kids, homes etc etc! Link to post Share on other sites
ICantStopLovinHim Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 How about cost? I have been proccrastinating mine because of cost..... Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by will_woman I am just wondering how long did one's divorce process take? Mine took about 14 months. I had filed in South Carolina because Tracy is a SC resident, & to avoid Wisconsin's Community Property laws. I had decided not to charge her with adultery, & to file on the basis of a year's legal separation. Although it was more protracted, it also avoided a messier (read:costlier) proceeding. _____________________________________ If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be - Yogi Berra Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by ICantStopLovinHim How about cost? I have been proccrastinating mine because of cost..... That depends on the amount of attorney work. Lengthy negotiations, motions, etc. over property division, child custody & other issues will result in higher legal fees. Link to post Share on other sites
lostinmyself Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Mine took 12 months. Should have only taken 3, but we were arguing over bills and things. He wouldn't own up to his bills, so I finally just set a court date and let the judge decide. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 My lawyer's charging me a flat fee of $1500. Unless my husband and I start bickering about stupid stuff, it should be ok. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 A few hundred dollars each. We split the cost. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 About 1,500.00 on my end. Not sure what he paid. We both secured our own separate attorneys and paid our own legal fees. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 You guys are all making me sick with how much you paid. I'm jealous. Mine was $4,000 on my end. Still paying............. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 hehe, well mine's not finished yet... my ex might go pscyho on me. But I think he's more scared I'm going to go pscyho on him. Let him worry! Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Mine was pretty painless too, so to speak. We split the cost, $500 each. Took about 3 months once we filed. We worked out everything before filing so there was no extra costs involved with having lawyers hash things out for us. Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl hehe, well mine's not finished yet... my ex might go pscyho on me. But I think he's more scared I'm going to go pscyho on him. Let him worry! Just remember that restraining orders would cost you more money! _____________________________________ Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by Scott S Just remember that restraining orders would cost you more money! So I should go psycho on him so he needs to get a restraining order? Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie You guys are all making me sick with how much you paid. I'm jealous. Mine was $4,000 on my end. Still paying............. Well, then I had better not tell you that I paid approximately $300. Oops! Sorry! To be fair, it was "uncontested," and was in 1992. Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl So I should go psycho on him so he needs to get a restraining order? If it's something you feel strongly about. Of course, if you did, it may be a commitment order instead! Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by Scott S If it's something you feel strongly about. Of course, if you did, it may be a commitment order instead! lol DOH Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted May 14, 2005 Share Posted May 14, 2005 Mine just came through on Monday. It had taken about 18 months from the date of separation. Up here, you can get divorced PDQ on grounds of adultery. I could've done that but by then a ton of people knew XW was a serial cheat and her rep was in tatters anyway. Figured I'd cut her a break, and I wasn't looking to get married again right away anyway. If there's no adultery being alleged, up here you can get DV after a one-year separation. Ours took a bit longer because we didn't really get started on it until after the one year. I drafted the separation agreement and got a fellow lawyer in my office too review it and file the paperwork, and he didn't charge me anything (he didn't have to do much). XW had to hire a lawyer, and she agreed to pay the court filing costs (at my suggestion -- she wrecked the marriage, she could pay to end it). So, all in all, the actual divorce itself cost me about $100. Link to post Share on other sites
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