laurah Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 i just wanted to explain myself. i recently about seven months ago went through a divorce. he filed the papers and wasn't going to tell me. he accused me of cheating on him. i never did. i was faithful to him and tried very hard to make the marriage work but i think sadly he didn't try his hardest with me to make us work. i never knew he cheated on me for the last year of our marriage until he admitted it. i really never knew. then he said i have bipolar and multiple personality disorder which i don't. so i thought long and hard and came to the conclusion that the best thing to do was just walk away from the marriage. if he just puts me down and doesn't love and respect me then thats that. and yes i did say something like i wish he was more experienced with women. i didn't mean it and i regret saying it and i'm sorry for that. proof of these things: 1. my psychiatrist has never diagnosed me with those diseases and even said three times when i asked him that i DO NOT have bipolar. i am only medicated for depression and insomnia. thats all. 2. he has no solid proof i cheated. only his so called red flags. i never once cheated on him and tried to make the marriage work even but to no progress. i went to florida because my family is sick. i am going to florida again in october because my granddad has to have his bladder removed and needs someone to help take care of him. also family is just as important as the spouse and time with them is good too. i never asked him to go because he doesn't get along with my mom and i knew most likely he wouldn't wanna go and he was in school so getting time off during school is hard. the so called person involved in the cheating laughed when i told him he said we cheated. really? me have sex with you? boy my memory must be bad because i would remember something like this lol he said. Link to post Share on other sites
Author laurah Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 i saw stuff not to name any names about me on here and wanted to explain myself Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 My H made me doubt my own sanity! He made comments about me running off with other men. Sadly it's all pretty common stuff from a cheat who is trying to justify their behavior. I get the feeling that you feel very wronged by your H's portrayal of you as a person. I get it!! I'm so sorry. Try to move on with your life. Take this time with your family. Having regrets about your time & care of an aging relative you deeply, truly love is haunting. You have unconditional love from your family. Enjoy that! Find new interests & hobbies to get you out into the world. Keeping busy truly is the best medicine for a broken heart. You have your whole life in front of you. You can be the person YOU want to be, with the life YOU want to live. I truly hope you get past all this stuff & find your own "Happily ever after". It's incredibly stressful when you are portrayed in a negative light to the world. Some will believe your ex because they choose to. Try to stop caring what they think & believe. You know the truth & those who love you will support & believe you. Don't give a flying f**k what the rest of them think!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author laurah Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 in fact i don't care what anyone thinks. i just wanted to say my piece to the site. i moved on a long time ago and realized that this divorce was inevitable. i have been dating since then and just got proposed to two nights ago. lucky me! Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 in fact i don't care what anyone thinks. i just wanted to say my piece to the site. i moved on a long time ago and realized that this divorce was inevitable. i have been dating since then and just got proposed to two nights ago. lucky me! Laurah, Was your ex on this site? Is this why you feel the need to explain? From what you wrote, you were justified in divorcing. Glad you have moved on, life is too short. I wish you luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author laurah Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 (edited) yes he was on this exact site. he posted stuff starting in february. he made many threads about our marriage and divorce and admitted in one he was cheating with a girl from australia at the time we were still married. i looked like the bad guy but i don't care what anyone thinks of me. people were posting negative things about me. Edited September 6, 2015 by laurah 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 This is all very common behavior in a divorce. Sounds like you are already divorced...you didn't mention if you have kids. If you don't share kids with him, close that book and work on building a new life. My exH also accused me of cheating and having antisocial personality disorder amongst many other things. Found out in his deposition during pretrial period that he'd been having sex with one of our daughter's friend's moms. It is just a way of taking the focus off them. He probably feels guilty on some level, hates the feeling, and it is easier to point fingers at you in hopes of gaining sympathy points from those around him. My exH remarried, and after that he has chilled out greatly. Divorce brings out the worst in people. Just try to stay positive about yourself and keep moving in your OWN direction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
angelcake Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 My ex drug my name through the mud, he constantly lied about me to friends, family and neighbors. I constantly felt the need to explain myself, and to prove myself. Then, I got tired of it. I started acting, then believing, that nobody's opinion of me mattered except mine. I know I am a good person and if other's can't see that, then that is their problem, not mine. You don't have to explain anything to anyone on this forum. Just keep being you. Take care of yourself, and of your family members who need you. Just do you! Everything else will fall into place 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 I do remember his thread. I personally did not think any better of him than I do of any other cheater. If your not happy in your marriage or relationship nothing give anyone the right to cheat. If you don't care what people think of you then why did you come here to defend yourself? C Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 yes he was on this exact site. he posted stuff starting in february. he made many threads about our marriage and divorce and admitted in one he was cheating with a girl from australia at the time we were still married. i looked like the bad guy but i don't care what anyone thinks of me. people were posting negative things about me. laurah, We are just whispers on the internet, you should not give us, or anyone for that matter, the time of day, if you do not think we are helping you. You know what type of person you are, and your morals. The best come back to anyone, who believes what your ex, wrote about you is to live the moral, and faithful life you know you did and can. In the end, he just did not deserve you and is by his own admission a cheater. Wish you good luck, and above all that you find the love you deserve. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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