cojo1976 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Sooo. I have recently separated from my wife of 15 years. By recently, I mean this past week. Our situation is a little odd, as we are not fighting, and are very close, and love each other very much. She is my best friend. We have hit some stale patches over the years and bounced back from some pretty bad stuff, but I dont think it's gonna happen this time. From the beginning, we were very co dependant on each other. We had both been single for a cpl years and were both alcoholics who happened to cross paths at a time of loneliness and despair. We slowly pulled each other from the gutter and built a life together. We have already decided that divorce is our best option. Over the years there have been intimacy issues, mostly on my part, that slowly turned us into best friends and roommates, rather than husband and wife. She had talked to me about having an open relationship, but I'm just not ok with it. I would rather be divorced and have her be happy, and give myself a chance to start over, than to stay married and sleep with other people. She has already started seeing someone else, and told me a few weeks ago that it would eventually happen. The truth is, I expected it to happen. We had already decided to separate, so I guess she can do whatever she wants. Thinking back, we should have divorced years ago, but we both wanted it to work so badly, we kept giving it another shot. Then eventually we would sink back into that comfortable spot, and things would get blah. Although I know it's for the best, I can't help feeling the guilt and regret. The sadness is crushing me. Can't sleep, eating complete s**t, and have no idea where to go from here. We still live together and work together. She said she does not want me to feel like I have to move out, but thats obviously not going to work. We dont have children, and our belongings will be a clean split when the time comes, so I'm kinda happy we don't have to deal with that. I dont have any questions or anything, just looking to get it off my chest. We recently moved to small town, and I don't really have any friends to talk to here, so I figured this was a good spot. Just really having trouble letting go of the idea of us. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMyCat Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 It is always hard to end a long marriage, even when it makes sense, and is basically less than a marriage in some ways. It would be sad if it wasn't dificult, really. You should feel a bit down, depressed, sad, etc...it would not make sense to feel otherwise. A marriage ending is a big deal, one of the biggest stressors we have in our lifetimes. It will take some time to accept and move on. Don't rush yourself, let yourself feel the emotions but at the same time, try to do some things you enjoy that maybe you set aside during your marriage, and eat what you like best, take care of your body, sleep more if you need it. In general, just be good to yourself, as you are healing, in a way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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