otherwoman2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 MM of 3 years, tells me (OW) that wife is in denial. He claims he does not want to be married to her and has asked her to leave on numerous occasions, but she is in denial and will not leave. He also gave me reasons to believe she is highly suspicious of a possible affair he may be having and has been angry at times (when she drinks). Recently he told me she discovered the television show Scandal and suggested they watch it. (They watch a lot of shows together). I'm a fan of the show and have watched all seasons. While it's mostly about politics and powers in DC, the underlying story is about the President's extramarital affair. If she is suspicious and angry with MM about a possible affair, why would they enjoy this show together? Am I offbase thinking it would be uncomfortable for them to watch together? It's just not the television program Id be enjoying with my spouse if I was having an affair while married. I wonder if what he told me was just a snowjob and maybe things are as usual at home. They do watch several shows together (watch a whole lot of TV). Just found it quite odd that they would be comfortable watching this show together in light of her suspicions. What do you make of it? Not sure why, but it has me quite puzzled Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 If he wants her to leave, why would he care if she's suspicious or not? And why isn't HE up and leaving? Three years is a long time to be waiting for her to pack her stuff. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
circe221 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 I wouldn't put anything past any MM anymore. Mine told me he and his wife were "separating" and then less than 2 months later she's pregnant and they're going on vacation, etc. He tried to continue the A, but I was done. He may be telling you what he thinks you want to hear, or what he thinks you will believe to keep you in the A. Link to post Share on other sites
clam Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Yes. He's snowing you. Neither of them is going anywhere. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 None of us are mind-readers, but honestly, it doesn't matter because whatever he or his wife is feeling doesn't change the fact that he isn't leaving (neither is his W). In other words, he won't be getting a divorce, or being with you or having more time for you or any of that. The reasons and whatever else is going on in the marriage don't matter. This is what you need to accept and focus on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 He's a liar. He's strung you along for 3 years with his lies...so it works for him. Meanwhile you get crumbs. That sucks. What do I make of it? I think an available man would be much more fun! Yes, he's snowing you. You like being snowed? I would imagine no... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lovemesomehim Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 If he no longer wishes to be married to her, what's stopping him from divorcing her? There's no law stating she must leave the home in order for him to divorce her. Also....if he no longer wishes to be married to her, why are they watching television together or any shows for that matter? MM isn't snowing you....you are closing your eyes to the obvious.... 6 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Why doesn't he file for D and move out? I can't imagine my H saying he doesn't want to be married for 3 years and I just carry on as normal. Does his wife have mental health problems? Or lack the capacity to understand what he says? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 MM of 3 years, tells me (OW) that wife is in denial. He claims he does not want to be married to her and has asked her to leave on numerous occasions, but she is in denial and will not leave. He also gave me reasons to believe she is highly suspicious of a possible affair he may be having and has been angry at times (when she drinks). n/QUOTE] And what does he say when you ask why HE won't leave? That's the greatest thing about separation in the modern age. Either party can go. Either party can file. I fear it isn't she who is in denial. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Majormisstep Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 He claims...are the key words here. What he is telling you is a whole different story than what he is telling her. Chances are his M life is fine and dandy with the odd disagreement here or there. Yes he is snowing you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Girl Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Totally. If he wants her to leave he just needs to tell her about you. Easy done, right? How long are you going to put up with it, is he question you need to be asking yourself . Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 There's always evidence when any man is actively pursuing a divorce. Donald Trump got divorced several times. You see, when a spouse intends for that to happen they are taking an active role to make sure it moves along. Did you ever see that he even filed for a divorce? If you were at his house - didn't you see evidence that his wife still lived there? Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 yes he is snowing you, but probably no where near as much as you are snowing yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 3YEARS!!! Really? I know it must be really hard to see the truth through all of the fantasy & lies. Just really sense check what you're saying. 'For 3 years he's been telling her that he doesn't want to be married but she just won't leave!'. Really think about that. What level of crazy does she have to be? Why is he not saying, "I WANT A DIVORCE". It's not that complicated. I know that after all this time you must have so much invested in this but it's all lies. Really take this opportunity to see what's happening here. "Is he snowing you?" is the sweetest way of putting it! He's blatantly lieing to you. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 His wife isn't the one in denial. You are. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author otherwoman2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Author Share Posted September 8, 2015 MM of 3 years, tells me (OW) that wife is in denial. He claims he does not want to be married to her and has asked her to leave on numerous occasions, but she is in denial and will not leave. He also gave me reasons to believe she is highly suspicious of a possible affair he may be having and has been angry at times (when she drinks). n/QUOTE] And what does he say when you ask why HE won't leave? That's the greatest thing about separation in the modern age. Either party can go. Either party can file. I fear it isn't she who is in denial. He replies, "I am not leaving MY house". He acqquired the house years before the marriage, and doesnt want to give it up just yet. He wants her to move out claims he offered her money to leave and help her get housing but she won't accept anything from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author otherwoman2015 Posted September 8, 2015 Author Share Posted September 8, 2015 His wife isn't the one in denial. You are. This reality finally hit me, better late than never eh? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 He replies, "I am not leaving MY house". He acqquired the house years before the marriage, and doesnt want to give it up just yet. He wants her to move out claims he offered her money to leave and help her get housing but she won't accept anything from him. Why should she? He hasn't filed for divorce = so she has no reason to think they are divorcing. Treat him as off limits = he is very much married. He is a blatant cheater. If he ever gets single then he would also likely cheat on you too. People don't break their patterns. He's showing you what a douche he is. Believe him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Faust Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 He replies, "I am not leaving MY house". He acqquired the house years before the marriage, and doesnt want to give it up just yet. He wants her to move out claims he offered her money to leave and help her get housing but she won't accept anything from him. You are not only being snowed by lies, these are lazy lies. He is not even trying to think up anything elaborate, just throws out whatever and expects you to believe. If he wants to divorce her so bad instead of offering her money why won't he offer a lawyer money to get him exclusive use of the home. Or, just file for divorce and go through what some of us poor souls have been through: the 9th Circle of Hell, also known as In House Separation. And let me tell ya, the last thing people are doing when they are in house separated is watching TV together. He is full of it, hope you are not eager to believe his crock. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Maybe they Are both in denial and MM likes it that way? Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 If they're not together. If he's basically single but she won't leave the house. Why not ask him to invite you in to meet his W? Single people, sharing a house date don't they? If he really wants her to leave why not be open about you? You're a dirty secret! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 When a MM lips are moving he is lying. Not always the case, but mostly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I don't think the actual show they're watching matters really, what is the red flag is that they are even watching shows together in the first place, that should be the bigger issue. Think about it, watching TV together and having shows you both watch together is a regular bonding activity for couples. You watch TV shows together, talk about it, it's relaxing, it's a means of sitting together on the couch or in bed and it doesn't really signal that you're about to divorce or that things are on the rocks. You say they watch a lot of TV together, together is the operative word. Not separately, not she tells him about a show and he watches it alone or with you, but they do this together. I've been in relationships where I wanted it to end or was unhappy and trust me, the last thing I was interested in when it was on the last lap was to do u necessary coupley things together. I doubt she would suggest them bonding more if she knew or let's say she knew and this was her way of keeping him around, why would he agree and why would they still spend time together watching shows if he was done? Link to post Share on other sites
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