Jump to content

Finding out you married a cheater.....


Recommended Posts

Thank you for all of the responses and advice. I looked into DARVO......it felt like I was reading a description of my husband perfectly. He reacts that way anytime I bring up anything.....even the smallest things. I have come to just accept most things and move about my day in silence in order to avoid a huge blow up. I'm not afraid of confrontation, but I am afraid of confronting him because his response is normally so explosive.

 

99.9% of the time, he is amazing, but that is only when I don't question or disagree with anything. He has never hit me, but he will corner me in a room and yell. He also has a bad habit of saying really awful things when he is angry and coming back later excusing his behavior by explaining that he was mad and didn't mean it.

 

How could I have gotten here? I am an intelligent, strong, independent woman in my late 30's. Am I really in an abusive relationship of sorts - again - not physically, but emotionally?? I don't want to believe this is true. Please tell me I am wrong.

 

He doesn't think we need marriage counseling. He thinks I am overly stressed and that I should see a counselor to deal with my issues.

 

I really don't want to start over again. I have been down this road before, and divorce is hell.

 

Okay..so let's say that it was a long time ago, perhaps before you were serious and married. Leave it be...but him cornering you in a room and yelling has to stop. He needs to cope better when you disagree with him.

 

I'm not going to jump and say divorce , but if you can let the past go, which will be tough and focus on the here and now, you need MC to work on those issues. I you can't force anyone to attend MC. I once suggested it and was told to seek help if I need it. ?

 

You may find IC makes you see what's really happening and changes your perspective on things.

 

Have you ever made it clear that cheating is a dealbreaker for you?

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...