Virginity

[Deja]

I have a question that's been bugging me for a while. Here's my story.

 

I am a 15 year old, female, virgin. My boyfriend, also a virgin, and I have been dating for almost 7 months and I am completely in love. I know that I want to lose it to him and vice versa. We almost did once but it hurt me too much that I couldn't.

 

My question is:

 

Why does it hurt so much? Could it be a medical problem? Could it be that I wasn't aroused enough?

 

Any informational help from anyone is welcome. If anyone has any solutions that they've used or know about that would help ease the pain, I would greatly appreciate it.

 

Thanx.

[clia]

Well, speaking for myself, it hurt like hell the first time. I thought I was going to die, literally, and bled all over the place. (I'm sure you guys love this visual. Sorry, just trying to help someone.) Try using some KY jelly or some other type of lubricant to ease things in. Tell your boyfriend to go slowly. (Seriously, I was crying it hurt so bad.) You might want to try being on top so that you can control things--but then again, the pain might be so bad that you won't want to continue. (I couldn't do it.) It could, of course, be a medical issue, but I think most girls go through quite a bit of pain the first time. I think that no matter how aroused you are the first time, it's still going to hurt because you don't really know what to expect. Good luck, and trust me, it gets much better. Don't be frightened. (I thought--what the hell is the big deal about this? You mean people actually WANT to do this? I was 15, too. )

[Laurynn]

First of all, before I address your post, I just wanted to mention something. If you're going to have sex or be intimate, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure you're using a reliable form of birth control....to protect yourself against unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (some of which are NOT curable: HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis C, Herpes, Genital Warts). 15 minutes of fun can totally change your entire life, ya know?

 

Geez, I know teens are having sex much earlier these days (I was 19 when I lost my virginity, after dating a guy I'd been dating for over a year)....but you do realize that though you may love (or think you love) him, it's pretty much doubtful that this is the guy you're going to one day marry and spend the rest of your life with......so really think long and hard about whether you really want to 'give it up' to him.

 

My first time, it wasn't all that great. I was half drunk when I did it, mostly because I was so nervous (LOL)...I don't remember it hurting as much as being really hard to do. I think it was because I wasn't 'wet' enough. Was sorta like trying to put a square peg in a round hole, so to speak LOL.

 

As Clia suggested, get some WATER BASED lubricant, like KY Jelly or Astroglide. You should be able to get these at any pharmacy or even a place like Walmart (in the section of stores where they sell tampons, condoms, panty liners, etc). It's important that you use something that's water based.....don't use anything like Vaseline. STuff that's not water-based can cause you to get a nasty yeast infection.

 

I hope that your guy will be using a condom. Make sure to use lubricated condoms, and if you're not on the Pill, make sure he uses one that contains the spermicide "non-oxynol 9"....

 

If you were using a condom the first time you did this, and it really hurt, and your were very 'irritated' down there a day or so after, it could mean that you have an allergy to latex condoms. If that's the case, they do sell condoms that AREN'T Latex (sorry, don't know any brand names).....but they should be easy to find, in any place that sells condoms (like walmart even)

 

Something else....don't rush things. A large part of being aroused (wet) enough, is 'foreplay'......too many times, when you're nervous, you just want to hurry up and get doing it. Both of you take your time.....kiss, touch, etc......and then use the lubricant, too.

 

Laurynn

[unnamed]

...Do not have sex.

 

Too many risks, and guaranteed you will regret it someday.

 

I mean, I'm 17, still with my girlfriend and we both are fully committed to each other (we are getting married), and I had sex (we were both virgins), and I still regret it to this day. Even though she is not pregnant, I still regret it. We have stopped because of the high risk involved.

 

Its 15 minutes of pleasure and a lifetime of pain.

 

I refuse to give you physical help, but do trust me that this boy you claim you love, you probably do not. Chances are, you will not stay together forever. And, in the end, you will regret having sex with him.

 

Not to mention you can also get pregnant, which will forever throw your life off-course.

[Bliss]

Ouch man!

 

How do YOU know she's not in love? I'm not saying you're wrong, but you might not be right. Chances are, all your letter did was put the poor girl on the defense. I can understand that you're looking out for her, and you are right. However! She's past the point of deciding to have sex or not. At least she is doing it for the right reasons. I know people who have sex with people they don't know just because they are horney and drunk.

 

For you hon, I know exactly how you feel. My first time I was so scared becuase it hurt so badly. I too cried and bled and my legs shook so hard. I loved him, no, correction, I LOVE him, and I trust him, but I was terrified. He was gentle and so worried and absolutely wonderful. He was so scared for me that he couldn't stay hard. We stopped because I couldn't go any farther and tried again a different day.

 

I am 18, and even if he and I are not together forever (god forbid) this will NEVER be something I regret. It was special and moving and I love him. If we ever decide to call it quits, he will still be the best thing that ever happened to me. He is a part of me, and he has made me, partially, who I am today. Not just because of sex, but of course that is part of it. True love defies age, race, religion, and family. If you love him and he loves you, you CAN make it work.

 

Make it special, make it yours, make it something you will never regret.