TunaCat Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 WCS: He gets involved with someone and it becomes serious. Oh wait, that's already happened. Eh, I've had 5 months to get used to him being involved with someone else. So I know I can handle that. Now if they become engaged, I might struggle a little bit, but not as much as I would have even a month ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Wow, very intriguing thread, I think I'll take a bite! Worst case scenario without giving myself a fright? Only if this based on something that's realistic, it would annoy me to no end if she's telling me she wants to get back together while banging my ex friend. So there is some truth to your name? Lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Hey all. I thought it might help if we dispelled our greatest fears of what our ex is doing. This is an exercise in receiving our own closure. The point is not to obsess over the ex and wonder what they are doing, but to envision the scenario that would hurt us most, and be able to accept that. Ha, ha I didn't have to fear, I knew exactly what she was doing, with some guy's boots parked at the front door of the house I fixed up before we were divorced. Exciting times. By the time the D was final, I could have lunch with her without a care, and did on the day the marriage was officially dissolved. Over and done. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 So there is some truth to your name? Lol Indeed there is, and as time goes on, you'll see more than my name! I try to give advice with true recollections of my experiencing the same! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Resurrection Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I was thinking of a WCS for me in terms of my ex but I quickly realized I just don't care. I really really dgaf what she could be doing, who she could be doing or what she's thinking... If she's not with me, she's obviously going to end up with someone else sometime in the future, so I'm least bothered what state she's currently in. I'm surprised by this apathy because it was a very intense and passionate 18 month relationship that just ended 10 days ago. We were too into each other and there was lot of talk of marriage but it somehow disintegrated after she admitted to feelings for a guy in her office. There was a strain on our relationship coz we were from different religions and our families were against it completely. She was OK with breaking off all contact and eloping but I didn't want to start such an important phase of my life without the positive vibes or blessings of our families. I don't know how she managed to develop feelings for her colleague during such stressing time but she did it pretty well. She used to laugh about her colleagues(this guy included) and how their mentality is beneath her and how she deserves to work in some place better and then this happens. LOL. Anyway, I must admit that the breakup is actually good for me. Although our love was strong, I've been told that its not enough. Our background, our upbringing, our values, our goals or our intrinsic needs were different and that would've showed later. So all in all, I'm looking forward to the future with hope... But I do have WCS for myself. I'm 27 and looking to settle down in next 2-3 years. I'm a bit worried that I may not find a suitable match for myself within that time period. I've also involved my parents in my partner search this time around so I'll at least save up on that headache. Let's see... Wishing everyone here speedy recovery and best of luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
JollyDays Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Best case scenario...Worst case scenario...it really doesn't matter, because she's GONE, and all of our exes are GONE. She can ****, suck, lick and spit whoever she wants, because I have no control over her life, mind, and body. I find the exercise self-defeating and not serving any purpose but to set one's mind back and keeping bad memories at the forefront. FWIW, I've gone a month without looking at an ex's FB page and I'm feeling better every new day. I went from crying over missing her after all these years to closing the book on that chapter and envisioning a life with someone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I guess I've been living my WCS for the last six months. I often felt like my ex didn't appreciate the sacrifices I'd made to live with her and her two children. I understand they were a package deal, and I actually grew to care about them more than I did her, but it still seemed like she took for granted what I was doing, nitpicking me to death about a lot of little things on top of that. I often thought, "She has no idea how many guys would've split from this a long time ago." Well, it took her all of two months to find someone new. I don't know how much she's integrated him into the kids' lives, but the situation doesn't seem to be a dealbreaker, since they're still together six months later. He's just coming out of a painful divorce and is a bit older than us (10+ years), so I'd imagine he's just really vulnerable right now and happy to do whatever he can to appease this younger, beautiful woman. He's got a prestigious job at the company they both work at; he makes insane money compared to what we do; he drives a Benz; lives in a huge house in an exclusive neighborhood that he got to keep in the divorce since his ex wouldn't be able to afford maintaining it. None of these things really matter long-term, though. They were a blow to my ego, but she and I had a lot of compatibility issues and I think going forward, we just weren't really wanting the same things out of life, so it was probably destined to end, anyway. With that in mind, my above WCS will probably not be one to me a year from now, because I do care about her and think she deserves to be happy. Just because it's not with me doesn't mean that I should begrudge her that when a lot of things in her life have been a real struggle. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I think it's easy to blow up a WCS. When my ex and I first split, I thought I'd be okay as long as he never got involved with someone else. Then, about a year later, I found out he'd gotten engaged shortly after we stopped speaking and got married some months later. Honestly, it made me more angry than anything, but I was able to work through that in a few months. It didn't bother me as much as I had thought it would at one point because I had been NC for so long. I barely even think about him anymore unless I happen to see him walk past at work. I'm really kind of thankful it all happened the way it did. Him getting married so quickly killed any soft spot I had for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 It can hurt when an ex moves on fast, but it can have its upside. You are forced to face the very real possibility that it is done and over for good and it's time to move on. Doesn't always HAPPEN right away, but usually better than waiting in limbo because you've convinced yourself that your ex not dating is a sign that they will come back. I've had eight months since the breakup. The first two, I wasn't really processing it, because not a lot changed aside from me staying at my own place at night. When she told me about the new guy, it triggered a lot of stuff that I had been putting off, such as getting back to the gym. I'd put on a LOT of weight during our time living together and stopped weight training, which had previously been a big hobby of mine. Six months later, I've dropped all the weight and my body composition is probably better than it was when we first moved in. Now I'm ready to get my body to a place it hasn't been in my life. I doubt any of this happens if my ex doesn't start dating again and I hold out hope she will see the error of her ways and come back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justsounsure Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 WCS 1: She stays in her hometown, we stop communicating altogether, she finds a job there that she loves, and she meets someone that she likes just as much or more than me. She is satisfied in her decision to leave me behind so that she could live in her hometown, and she has no regrets, because she was able to replace me AND get to live near her family WCS 2: She somehow either convinces me that she is right, and I quit my job and move, OR I can't take the heartache anymore, and I quit my job and move. I get there, and our relationship isn't rainbows and butterflies. Actually, I get there, and ANYTHING LESS that a happy marriage and children happens, and I resent her for the rest of time for giving up my career for what turned out to not even be a good situation I honestly can't tell which scenario makes my stomach turn more. Probably 2. Which means even more that I really need to give up hope, and let go. Because I can't ever allow that to happen. And if I moved there, it'd be a total possibility. Link to post Share on other sites
K2z Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 My WCS is her finding, within a month or two, a richer, smarter guy who has the common sense to recognize her for the amazing woman she is and marry her by the third or fourth month. After I kept her waiting for three years. I know that's selfish but it's where I am at. (I was stupid and I really want my ex back.) Link to post Share on other sites
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