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At a Loss Trying To Figure Things Out


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I believe my life is a result of my decisions and I take responsibility for that. And I don't have many regrets in my decisions. But these days, I'm just at a loss. I don't have clarity and I'm not seeing a plan forward.

 

It ranges from everything from health to career to friendships to relationships...

 

I took a job opportunity in Hawaii about a year and a half ago. It was great at first when things were fluid and new, but now I'm trying to make a life and things just aren't working out.

 

I've had difficulty establishing lasting friendships here. Many people here are transitory. That goes for relationships too. Many carry a lot of baggage. And there doesn't seem to be any sense of responsibility or accountability to be considerate or decent.

 

The one guy that I did have a 6 month relationship with recently, went from telling me I was awesome and wonderful and grateful to have me in his life, to nit picking me apart once he got his orders to leave the island. As much as it hurt, I left him. It was what I needed to do at that moment in time but I would have left the island to be with him given the choice... I have since tried going on a few dates to move on but dating hasn't changed. So I took a chance to try to reconcile with the ex. In his words, I'm not really interested. We tried that and it didn't workout... It sucks how love has to physically hurt.

Feeling a little heartbroken.

 

It's a lonely life. I'd love to get lost in work, but even that has faded. The dream job I was promised has turned to paper pushing and the furthest thing from my industry. Yet I have to feel fortunate to even have a job, especially here. I've been looking, but professional jobs are few and far between...

 

I've been knocked down, A LOT, since moving here. I keep getting back up and trying to move forward, but at this point, I'm feeling at such a loss. I feel alone. Pretty bruised, but I'm still standing. I just don't know where to go from here.

Edited by DC77
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I wish I could delete this post. Things can always be worse. Seems like there are a lot of us here going through similar times. Perhaps I just needed to vent...

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