NewMe Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by tricky another thought that occured to me today was that my idea of love has been fundamentally flawed. when she left, she made the decision to leave and ultimately it was the best decision for her. for me to be angry, bitter and spiteful at her leaving is wrong. it is nothing else but looking out for my own self-interest, and that is certainly not love. being sad about it is reasonable, but trying to prevent her from leaving certainly is not. i always hear people repeating the mantra of 'if you love someone, set them free', but most would never give much though to what it really means. i don't think many people can really grasp the idea. i certainly didn't.. I have been thinking a lot about this also. I realized that partially I wasn't moving on because it was so hard for me to believe that the ex didn't love me anymore. But it finally clicked for me that that wasn't the relevant question. He genuinely wants to move on. He probably does still love me, but we had both realized the relationship wasn't promising, and he did the best thing anyone could do for himself or herself. It still hurts, and in some moments it seems cold as hell, but I have to say I am also impressed. I wish I could handle myself so rationally. Anyway, the realization actually helped take a great load off. I appreciate your posts, tricky. The earlier one in this thread resonated a lot as well. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Funny thing is, I don't. The last couple of weeks has been a growth spurt of sorts for me. My confidence grows every day in proportion to the loss of urge to call her. I guess as the shackles are coming off, so grows my confidence. Good for you! Keep it up Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Good for you! Keep it up Thanks. It's been a tough road but focusing on the past (other than to learn from my mistakes) has proven irrational and a big waste of time. My time has been focused on ME, improving myself (lots of reading, etc) and not on her. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC My time has been focused on ME, improving myself (lots of reading, etc) and not on her. Yup, this was the key for me too. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts