When women get along with men better than women

[LookAtThisPOst]

I know a couple of women that have a tendency to get along better with men than women...or perhaps she gets along with both.

 

One woman I know of is great at being "one of the guys", the bad side to all this? This is an attractive element to other men.

 

A lot of men that have tried to get with her, she wasn't attracted to in the slightest "in that way." But, she would agree to go out with them, but would proceed it with, "We're going out as friends, right?"

 

The guy, of course being the opportunist is like "Suuuuure, we'll go out as friends"

 

All the way, he'll attempt to turn into a flirt fest with her the entire time they are out together, only to have his attempts rebuked.

 

I know of some of her "male friends" that would try to touch her, not grope or anything, but would like put his hand on the small of her back or attempt to play with her hair in line at a theater only to get a reaction he wasn't quite expecting.

 

This would constantly cause irritation on the man's part, but some kind of "damage control" would occur where he would "promise to be good" if they shall ever go out again...only to have the same motions repeated to the point where he just stops calling her to go out.

 

Some of these men would even insist on paying for both of them to gain entry into a movie because he thinks of her as a "good friend.", even though she would refuse payment, he would insist.

 

Now, I'm curious which gender is at fault here. What should have been done and should the guy not even take the first step on agreeing with "going out as friends?"

 

Also, I see this in ALL age ranges of people, this isn't limited to a specific age group. This even prevalent in seniors 50 years and older.

 

Thoughts?

[autumnnight]

As a woman, this is a huge red flag for me. I have yet to meet or know a woman who only mainly has male friends who did not seem to hate women and have almost zero tact and emotional intelligence.

[mrldii]

As a woman, this is a huge red flag for me. I have yet to meet or know a woman who only mainly has male friends who did not seem to hate women and have almost zero tact and emotional intelligence.

 

While a tad more emphatic than I, personally, would have stated it, I basically agree.

 

When I was much younger, I was a woman who got along better with men than women and would rather hang out with my male friends doing their things than with women doing girly things. As I got older (matured?) I realized the value of female friendship...and how spending time with my female friends actually enhanced my relationships with men.

 

My personal experience with women who prefer to hang out with men (including my own time as such a woman) is that they/we have a tendency to view other women as a threat to their *success* with men. While it may not be a 'red flag', it's definitely a deep shade of pink.

[Popsicle]

I would be wary of anyone who only has friends of the opposite gender. (Guys who only have female friends exist too)

[carhill]

Now, I'm curious which gender is at fault here.

Both parties are responsible for their role in the interaction.

What should have been done and should the guy not even take the first step on agreeing with "going out as friends?"

They do what they do; it's a choice, not a responsibility or requirement. No one is holding a gun to either party's head. If the lady, married or single, likes interacting with men and enjoying male attention, that's her prerogative and responsibility. Same for the man.

 

 

Also, I see this in ALL age ranges of people, this isn't limited to a specific age group. This even prevalent in seniors 50 years and older.

 

That makes sense. Such behaviors cross all demographic lines because, well, people are individuals.

 

 

Thoughts?

 

After many years of interacting with women, and especially iterations with MW's who had stables of orbiters, I came to greatly appreciate a woman who had close and loving female friends. That factor was one of the factors playing into marrying the lady I did. Those friendships, with the majority of the ladies being married themselves, added depth to our marriage and social milieu, just like my male friends did.

[Popsicle]

I know a couple of women that have a tendency to get along better with men than women...or perhaps she gets along with both.

 

One woman I know of is great at being "one of the guys", the bad side to all this? This is an attractive element to other men.

 

A lot of men that have tried to get with her, she wasn't attracted to in the slightest "in that way." But, she would agree to go out with them, but would proceed it with, "We're going out as friends, right?"

 

The guy, of course being the opportunist is like "Suuuuure, we'll go out as friends"

 

All the way, he'll attempt to turn into a flirt fest with her the entire time they are out together, only to have his attempts rebuked.

 

I know of some of her "male friends" that would try to touch her, not grope or anything, but would like put his hand on the small of her back or attempt to play with her hair in line at a theater only to get a reaction he wasn't quite expecting.

 

This would constantly cause irritation on the man's part, but some kind of "damage control" would occur where he would "promise to be good" if they shall ever go out again...only to have the same motions repeated to the point where he just stops calling her to go out.

 

Some of these men would even insist on paying for both of them to gain entry into a movie because he thinks of her as a "good friend.", even though she would refuse payment, he would insist.

 

Now, I'm curious which gender is at fault here. What should have been done and should the guy not even take the first step on agreeing with "going out as friends?"

 

Also, I see this in ALL age ranges of people, this isn't limited to a specific age group. This even prevalent in seniors 50 years and older.

 

Thoughts?

 

This issue in this specific case was that you were attracted to her. That poses a problem to the "friendship". Once the attraction became known you both were at fault, imo.

[stillafool]

Now, I'm curious which gender is at fault here. What should have been done and

should the guy not even take the first step on agreeing with "going out as

friends?"

 

I would say the man is at fault because the woman told/asked him they were going out as "just friends". If he had a romantic interest in the woman he should have canceled the movie date. There was nothing wrong with her wanting to pay for her movie ticket as that is what she would do if she were with a girlfriend.

[GemmaUK]

The guy was at fault here and if he was interested in more than friends he should have listened when she said 'as friends' and walked away.

 

Instead he chose not to listen to that crucial bit of info and chose to try to manipulate a relationship out of it.

 

Guys like that are very difficult to get rid of.

 

Thankfully most men aren't like that and when 'as friends' comes into play they get it and if they really did want more than just friends they leave her be knowing that that is all she sees him as.

[xxoo]

Now, I'm curious which gender is at fault here. What should have been done and should the guy not even take the first step on agreeing with "going out as friends?"

 

Why look for fault? If it bothers either of them, they each have FULL control of staying out of such a situation again. If they don't mind so much, then they can continue to live in the gray areas and have moments of discomfort and disappointment. Whatever they prefer, they'll do.

[Toodaloo]

When I was much younger, I was a woman who got along better with men than women and would rather hang out with my male friends doing their things than with women doing girly things. As I got older (matured?) I realized the value of female friendship...and how spending time with my female friends actually enhanced my relationships with men.

 

My personal experience with women who prefer to hang out with men (including my own time as such a woman) is that they/we have a tendency to view other women as a threat to their *success* with men. While it may not be a 'red flag', it's definitely a deep shade of pink.

 

I am a female that tends to get on with men better than women. I find it sad to be honest as I would love to have more female friends however I personally find females in general to be very difficult to get along with. that said my closest friends are female. However they are also females that tend to get on better with males too...

 

In answer to your question LATP - both are at fault, the men for trying it on despite the woman stating her (lack of) intentions and the woman for allowing it.

[hotpotato]

How old is this woman? If she's older, she should know that guys generally don't want to be just friends esp if he's trying to take her out. If I had to pick, I'd say both were at fault. Then again, a lot of male-female friendships stay alive because of serious projections.

 

I'm one of those girls who gets along better with guys. I'm just more likely to encounter men in my activities. Honestly, I don't have a lot of friends period. I did try to be close friends with guys in the past which didn't work. I have male acquaintances in other states which works a lot better. No, I was never trying to date them or use guy friends as a means of having romantic "success."

 

I have saved myself a lot of drama by not having a lot of acquaintances esp female ones. I have always been more of a loner even as a child. Just because someone is a woman, doesn't mean she'll be a social butterfly with loads of friends.