Ex posting publicly about loud sex with current partner

[ResilienSea]

It's been awhile since I've posted, it's been over two years since he walked out after 17 years together and my heart hurts as if it happened yesterday.

I know it's wrong to read his online postings but it makes me feel connected in some small way.

Tonight I read the following:

 

"Somebody I know got a note like this! It explicitly referred, in a humorous way, to the fact that they were having loud sex. The recipient found the note simultaneously funny and obnoxious and did not endeavor to change their noisy sex-having habits."

 

He's essentially bragging about his sexual prowess.

 

Reading this hurt more than anything I can remember.

I've been crying hysterically for hours.

I have no friends or family I can talk to.

It hurts SO, SO bad.

[Qboro90]

It's been awhile since I've posted, it's been over two years since he walked out after 17 years together and my heart hurts as if it happened yesterday.

I know it's wrong to read his online postings but it makes me feel connected in some small way.

Tonight I read the following:

 

"Somebody I know got a note like this! It explicitly referred, in a humorous way, to the fact that they were having loud sex. The recipient found the note simultaneously funny and obnoxious and did not endeavor to change their noisy sex-having habits."

 

He's essentially bragging about his sexual prowess.

 

Reading this hurt more than anything I can remember.

I've been crying hysterically for hours.

I have no friends or family I can talk to.

It hurts SO, SO bad.

 

 

So why do you torture yourself and continue to view his social media activity and let his life affect yours? Social media is where people portray the best sides of themselves and the best lifestyle appearance. That doesn't mean that they are necessarily living the dream and lavish luxury. So you looking at his page is just setting yourself up to see him happy and enjoying life.

 

After 2 years you should have been past the crippling emotion and crying episodes. At some point you might need to start thinking that if you don't have the will power or desire to remove him from your life and daily mind then a therapist may be able to offer alternative solutions.

[Felicite]

It's been awhile since I've posted, it's been over two years since he walked out after 17 years together and my heart hurts as if it happened yesterday.

I know it's wrong to read his online postings but it makes me feel connected in some small way.

Tonight I read the following:

 

"Somebody I know got a note like this! It explicitly referred, in a humorous way, to the fact that they were having loud sex. The recipient found the note simultaneously funny and obnoxious and did not endeavor to change their noisy sex-having habits."

 

He's essentially bragging about his sexual prowess.

 

Reading this hurt more than anything I can remember.

I've been crying hysterically for hours.

I have no friends or family I can talk to.

It hurts SO, SO bad.

 

I know it's really difficult for you to see something like this, but you shouldn't be checking his social media, esp after 2 years. I agree with Qboro90, social media doesn’t show the truth but only what others want you to see or hear. It’s not always as good as it seems, and bragging about how awesome you are is really arrogant, and just to get attention. So how can you take any person like that seriously? They only think of themselves.

Delete and block him, and find something hobby or talk to friends or family to occupy your mind, or if you ‘re stuck consider therapy.

 

 

I also have bad experience on this and I am trying my best not to check online updates on how he’s doing (he’s also not hiding his romantic exploits), but I have to have him because we use instagrams, twitters etc for work. I ‘m trying to find any app that maybe will inhibit access to certain profiles without deleting them.

[ResilienSea]

I immediately felt better just being able to post here about how much it stung seeing that. It wasn't on "his page", but rather a public discussion forum.

I guess I'm just hoping for some understanding by other people in pain. To be honest it totally slipped my mind that I'd get "you SHOULD BE responding in this way" responses. Most people aren't coming out of 17 year relationships to be able to relate to "acceptable bounce-back time". And I don't want to become defensive.

I really just need a hug.

Therapy is not a panacea, even with an excellent one the infrequency of the visits and the fact that it's a very inexact art and not a science makes therapy very little help. I fear I will never experience a close relationship again. The agony has been insurmountable.

[PrettyEmily77]

I really just need a hug.

 

((((hugs)))).

[Felicite]

I immediately felt better just being able to post here about how much it stung seeing that. It wasn't on "his page", but rather a public discussion forum.

I guess I'm just hoping for some understanding by other people in pain. To be honest it totally slipped my mind that I'd get "you SHOULD BE responding in this way" responses. Most people aren't coming out of 17 year relationships to be able to relate to "acceptable bounce-back time". And I don't want to become defensive.

I really just need a hug.

Therapy is not a panacea, even with an excellent one the infrequency of the visits and the fact that it's a very inexact art and not a science makes therapy very little help. I fear I will never experience a close relationship again. The agony has been insurmountable.

 

 

Of course we understand , everybody here can crumble and has setbacks sometimes no matter how composed they are, or how much time has passed.

Going out of a 17year relationship is really really hard and of course hugs are needed.

 

{{{{/Hugs}}}}

 

It’s just best for you to remember that what he posted doesn’t make him look cool or anything, it’s really stupid (so try to keep that in mind even if you were agonizing and having crying fits)

 

Post here often to vent. And I hope you find something to make you happy soon!

[sickandtiredOfex]

You big eejit you(not insult) ...you're looking at it all wrong, if he's bragging about his sex exploits on social media it means he has no respect for the person he is with...NO RESPECT WHATSOEVER,NONE NADA get the drift?

 

Social media this same social media that people take pictures of their dinners and post online in the hope someone finds it interesting? The one where everyone posts happy happy news but never tell the sad stuff going on? The fact he's on bragging how loud his sex life is tells us all his girlfriend is a big fake and isn't as great as he thinks he is or she's just a loud person and by loud once honeymoon faze is over heel be embarrassed by the arguments they neighbours will hearx

 

I suggest you block him..you're lucky you only have to read about it online which you shouldn't anyway..I had a mobile phone thrusters in my face n ex showing me him having sex with something that resembles a whale...

 

He's having sex...you spent along time making love...cry your little heart out and once your done crying get back out into the world and find a good guy that won't brag about your sex life to all...I mean seriously? Posting that on social media...ewwww vile

[sickandtiredOfex]

I'll add you're a woman..you get yourself dolled up and you won't be short of offers for dates-but not right now though, once you feel better

 

That ex of yours is disgusting lowest form of man there is..17 year relationship with you means he isn't a silly teenager, in time you'll feel embarrassed for him..happy people spend to much time being happy that to boast and brag..its like convincing themselves and dragging his new girlfriends name down into the mud for him to perceive himself as the *man* should you cry over a male like that? I don't think you should...sex in new relationships is good for a while you should know that...then they dwindle you know that also...his time will come when she gets bored of him and his bragging..and don't be an idiot if he contacts you ignore him...

[jen1447]

(((((ResilienSea)))))

[PunkMonk]

Many hugs, friend.

 

A 17 year relationship... that's tough. I wouldn't expect you to be over it in a couple of years. I've found the grief over a relationship is very much like mourning a death. Be gentle with yourself.

 

I will echo that social media is not at all an accurate representation of peoples' lives and it's important to remind yourself that. I read a study that found the amount of time spent on social media is directly correlated with higher levels of depression and dissatisfaction. Why? Because people only post the best parts of their lives on social media and the people that spend hours and hours on social media are just constantly comparing their "dull, boring" lives to everybody else's "exciting" lives, when that's not at all the reality. That's a realization that really turned me off from social media and actually I enjoy avoiding it now.

 

Another thing that might help shift your perspective a little bit, I'm 24 and even I can see what he posted as extremely immature so please don't put him on a pedestal. In fact, it might be a sign of his insecurity if he feels a need to boast something like that publicly. It's actually laughable, even the most immature friends I have do not post anything about their sex lives on social media and some of those people still laugh at the word "butthole."

Edited September 11, 2015 by PunkMonk

[JollyDays]

It's been awhile since I've posted, it's been over two years since he walked out after 17 years together and my heart hurts as if it happened yesterday.

I know it's wrong to read his online postings but it makes me feel connected in some small way.

Tonight I read the following:

 

"Somebody I know got a note like this! It explicitly referred, in a humorous way, to the fact that they were having loud sex. The recipient found the note simultaneously funny and obnoxious and did not endeavor to change their noisy sex-having habits."

 

He's essentially bragging about his sexual prowess.

 

Reading this hurt more than anything I can remember.

I've been crying hysterically for hours.

I have no friends or family I can talk to.

It hurts SO, SO bad.

 

 

Just reading that quote tells me that he's a boy in a man's body. I want you to do two things.

 

 

First, stop crying over this CHILD who has a lot of growing up to do, and secondly, I want you to block ALL of his social media. I say that because I see so many people on LS (and beyond) making progress, and then get the urge to look up their exes through social media and have a huge setback.

 

 

I learned the hard way to leave exes alone, because you eventually end up seeing something you don't want to see. And besides, why worry what he does in his life? I know it can be hard not to worry, but that old cliche is true: happiness starts with YOU.

 

 

FWIW, get out there, find yourself a REAL MAN and leave that little boy alone, because it's obvious he's immature as hell. You should be crying tears of joy for not having that LOSER in your life any longer.

Edited September 11, 2015 by JollyDays

[thekarmacist]

gross. he gets my vote for least class.. what normal adult posts such things publicly? what a jackas$. definite demonstration of no class. and that hurts you? you ought to laugh at someone so pathetic and insecure that they need to announce this publicly.

 

obvious question- why don't you stop snooping? i know it's difficult, no judgment.

 

lots of love to you.

[FuraVirgens]

Sorry, wrong thread.

Edited September 15, 2015 by FuraVirgens
Sorry, wrong thread.

[15Love]

I have the strongest feeling you are going to meet someone wonderful who will make this whole thing (and him) as laughable to you as it is to the objective viewer.

 

((((Hugs))))

 

Hang in there!