WiselyNaive Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 nearly broke nc like 10 different times today & its only day 5...i already feel like giving up...cause if i can barely make it to day 5 i'll probably end up breaking it anyway...he explicitly said he didnt love me anymore, had zero feelings & that he knows he will never have deep feelings for me again. so why is my mind replaying all our good times & convincing me he is just upset & he will realize how great we were? why do i feel like saying "hey" even though i know he'll just ignore it or respond reluctantly he told me he doesnt want contact...what is wrong with me?...i'm in so much denial its sickening. btw the reason i havent broken nc is cause i went & read these two sites...ive read them so many times today...they are losing their effect...wears off in a few hours...then i get the urge again...: The Rules Revisited: The Importance of Silence After a Break Up 100 Attraction Principles from "Why Men Love Bs" now when i read them i still want to message so this time i came here. Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I think it was great that you went looking for help rather than contacting him. It sounds like you understand the reality of the situation logically but your heart still refuses to accept it. Unfortunately he doesn't feel the same so contacting him isn't going to fix things, only make you feel worse. It might be too soon to start dating again but if you miss the attention and receiving messages from him, perhaps you could start talking to other guys online or via test as a distraction for a while. Every time you get the urge, send a message to someone else. I know it is hard but try and stay strong, you will get through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WiselyNaive Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 I think it was great that you went looking for help rather than contacting him. It sounds like you understand the reality of the situation logically but your heart still refuses to accept it. Unfortunately he doesn't feel the same so contacting him isn't going to fix things, only make you feel worse. It might be too soon to start dating again but if you miss the attention and receiving messages from him, perhaps you could start talking to other guys online or via test as a distraction for a while. Every time you get the urge, send a message to someone else. I know it is hard but try and stay strong, you will get through this. thankyou!...5 days is a lot for me..i think me not being able to control emotions like these led to this. Happily i havent broken it...i realize i need to be constantly preoccupied...the second im not my mind wonders...I have only once kept nc...been through 6 break ups...i kept it once for 3 months...being the dumper..thinking the dumpee would message me, he didnt..& by the time i did he ended up moving on..since then i've been "broken"...always been the dumpee....always broke NC..that shook my confidence so much in terms on NC...& it was years ago...gonna try & hang on....3 months minimum. i dont feel like dating at all...but i did set up an okcupid & talk to people in a didnt state...helps a bit...boosts confidence..but of course im not interested Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Even if you aren't interested in anyone right now I think that is a good idea to boost your confidence. If they live out of state that is perfect for you right now because there are less expectations but you are still connecting with someone else which is exactly what you need to be doing. Your goal should be to move on completely as painful as that may be. The fact that he doesn't want any contact means that contacting him in three months from now will result in more rejection and just set you back again. You deserve so much better than that. There are so many other guys out there that are more handsome and charming, and most importantly will love to be with you. You have to do what is best for yourself in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
spoonsha Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Just saw your post, are you still doing NC? How is the progress? I am only on day 2, it's already hard...If you like, we can talk to each other and have some support... Link to post Share on other sites
15Love Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Yes! How's it going?? Link to post Share on other sites
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