She cheated and left me for him.

[goodguy1]

2 months of no contact today. It's been hard especially this past week but I'm hanging in there.

[Spectre]

I applaud you for the way you handled this. Sometimes men handle getting cheated on very badly by allowing it to turn them into someone they are not. It's what turns some men into a-holes.

[Lion Heart]

Goodguy1

 

How you doin'?

 

Wanna share some really positive things you're doing to take this bull by it's horns and move on?

 

Thanks for the note. I'm in Australia so I'm so clueless to so many things people talk about here lol. I like Lion Heart. We all have to have hearts like LIONS to withstand the heartache of infidelity.

 

Goodguy1 trust me, when you're sipping wine with your beautiful BEAUTIFUL wife on your porch one day after all the kids are in bed, you might happen to remember this thing (of an exgf) and possibly struggle to remember her name. Build that future starting NOW. Picture it. FEEL it. It is SO gonna happen for you. Given time, patience, a great career and possibly a dozen or so gfs, the good guys often get the prize.

 

Are you asking any pretty girls out on dates?

Probably only a good idea once you know you won't spend the whole time talking about your ex. PLEASE don't do that. Ask HER plenty of questions.

 

Get out there.

Lion Heart.

[goodguy1]

Goodguy1

 

How you doin'?

 

Wanna share some really positive things you're doing to take this bull by it's horns and move on?

 

Thanks for the note. I'm in Australia so I'm so clueless to so many things people talk about here lol. I like Lion Heart. We all have to have hearts like LIONS to withstand the heartache of infidelity.

 

Goodguy1 trust me, when you're sipping wine with your beautiful BEAUTIFUL wife on your porch one day after all the kids are in bed, you might happen to remember this thing (of an exgf) and possibly struggle to remember her name. Build that future starting NOW. Picture it. FEEL it. It is SO gonna happen for you. Given time, patience, a great career and possibly a dozen or so gfs, the good guys often get the prize.

 

Are you asking any pretty girls out on dates?

Probably only a good idea once you know you won't spend the whole time talking about your ex. PLEASE don't do that. Ask HER plenty of questions.

 

Get out there.

Lion Heart.

 

Hey Lion Heart,

 

I'm doing really good right now. I actually just got back from making an instructional film for some air tanker bases so that was pretty fun. I've also been more active and have tried my luck at golf which i have to admit I'm pretty terrible at but I'm getting better and my bowling average has jumped to about 180 which is a great improvement. I've pretty much just been getting out there hanging out with friends enjoying life. Haven't really thought about my ex much, dreams of her are still happening but i don't think much of them and shrug them off.

 

I think your name fits you perfectly and you are so right about us having the Hearts of Lions and being able to deal with infidelity and heartbreak. How are you doing with your situation if i may ask?

 

I actually asked a girl out on a date and we're going to go on it next week when she gets a day off so I'm excited for that and very nervous. I'll keep you guys updated on how the date goes after it finally happens. If you have any advice i'm all open to suggestions.

[Sparta]

Quicker you find a new one the quicker you get over Her

[goodguy1]

Quicker you find a new one the quicker you get over Her

 

Was looking for advice more aimed towards my upcoming date but appreciate this piece none the less. Thank you.

[qubist]

Was looking for advice more aimed towards my upcoming date but appreciate this piece none the less. Thank you.

 

You might wanna open a new thread in the dating section of this forum. There are some expert there that don.t usually check the infidelity section. Overheard people are more interested on infidelity stories

Good luck

[turnera]

Good women like dates where it's comfortable, easy-going, no pressure, and lots and lots of opportunity to talk. So no movies. No too-fancy restaurants. No sports like bowling on the first date (maybe later). Try to think of something where you can go for a walk so you can talk some more, maybe, like a popular and busy, well-lit park. And then get her a cup of ice cream or something.

 

And ask her LOTS of questions about herself. Let her see that you really are interested in getting to know her.

[goodguy1]

Hey you guys,

 

So I ended up cancelling the date with a girl because I realized I don't feel ready enough to date anyone even if it's not serious. My ex has been fresh on my mind the last two weeks and I wo i don't want another girl to have to suffer because of what she did to me if that makes sense.

[turnera]

That makes you a good guy.

[goodguy1]

So it's been a tough week. This really is a rollercoaster ride as the dreams have started up again. I've been doing my best to take my mind off of her and the events that took place but my mind has a habit to wander back to memories i don't want to think about.

[turnera]

Fill your days with as many new activities as possible. Those memories you're making will fight for space in your brain as it picks through that day's events to choose for a dream.

[goodguy1]

I almost called/texted her thanksgiving day because I heard through the grapevine that she was back in town but I stopped myself from making that foolish mistake because it really wouldn't do anything for me but leave me hurt and feeling all this pain over again. I miss her and her family. I miss the good times me and her had and it just sucks that the person I thought I knew everything about and loved more than anything is a complete strangers to me now. I can't wait to feel happy again.

[bigman1]

Dude,

 

New Mantra: "She was a lie. Everything about her was a lie. There was no us because She was a lie".

 

You owe no loyalty to the fond memories that you have. You had fun, sure. But the fun was part of the lie.

 

Maybe that is too harsh a stance, but I find that the sooner people let go of the positive feelings, the less they romanticize the past.

 

Every time you have a positive memory, challenge it. It was a lie. It was a waste. She was a lie, she was a waste.

 

It may make you sad, but then it will make you mad, and then you can't wait to forget her and move on. You have to be proactive in killing good feelings.

[goodguy1]

So i broke no contact last night.... She texted me around midnight apologizing for everything she had done to me and for cheating. She owned that she was the problem in the relationship and never really tried to work out our problems and just kept things to herself. She said her life's a mess and misses me and that she's stressed out and failing her classes and that she still considers me her best friend and she wishes that we could talk everyday like we used to. I thanked her for her apology and told her that talking like we used to and being friends was an unrealistic wish as she's still with OM and i have given up on us ever being together again. I know this is most likely just a ploy to keep me on the rebound as OM has hardcore tabs on her an from what she said calls her every 5 minutes demanding where she is and tries to include himself in all of her plans. She no longer has the freedom she had with me as well as the emotional support i provided especially when she was stressed with school. I wish her the best and told her she had to sleep in the bed she made.

 

It was a bittersweet moment as i never wanted her to be depressed and unhappy but i am glad that she's starting to realize what she lost and will never get back.

[mightycpa]

So are you actually happier now? What has to happen for you to drop it?

[goodguy1]

So are you actually happier now? What has to happen for you to drop it?

 

No i wouldn't say I'm happier but i got the closure i felt i needed if that makes sense so i feel like i can drop it all together now. We all deal with things differently.

[goodguy1]

Hey guys!

 

So it's been a while since I've wrote anything on here and thought I'd let you guys know how I'm doing. I'm actually doing really well. Rebuilt myself along with myself esteem and no longer feeling depressed at all and pretty much feel indifferent towards my ex. I took a trip to Thailand in late February early March and it was amazing and gave me a completely new outlook on life and I met some pretty amazing people out there and made great friends. I would recommend Thailand to anyone who needs to go on a vacation it's beautiful out there and super relaxing and the club district on the islands are fun.

 

Back at home I'm still looking for work within my work field but I have gotten over my writers block which is great and have made great strides to actual film again and meet new people so all in all everything's going fine. My ex did get a new number and attempt to come back into my life saying the same old things but I know better now. I hope you all are doing well!

[Arman1987]

I have read your story and the replys a few days earlier.

I must say that im really happy to see you recover and building your life!

 

I'm in a "cheated by girlfriend after 2 years 2 times" stiuation. happened 1,5month ago. wish i could do as good as you after half a year. im on nc for a month now.

 

Wish You the best, and the best partner in the future also!

[goodguy1]

Hey you guys!

 

Just wanted to let you guys know I'm doing good finally found a job to hold me over while I fund my independent film projects and I have not talked to my ex at all in forever which has been great and I feel like im making great strides in getting over things, yes I have the occasional dream and thought about her but as soon as I do i remind myself that I'm not going to let that control me like I first did when I first made this post. I have lost around 65 pounds I'm actually looking quite well and fit now which is great, I've been doing the things I love again like going to concerts and traveling so life's looking up right now

 

However she did message me about 2 weeks ago saying she missed me and that she's back in our home town again for the summer, I haven't replied back and blocked this new account she made just to send me the message and now am just a lil worried that she's going to try to see me at work since her family ran into me at work one day. On top of that it's come to my attention from a group of friends that my ex and the guy she cheated on me with have been spreading rumors about me abusing my ex physically, sexually, verbally, and mentally for the entire length of our relationship which is ****ing absurd. Because I know as well as all our friends and family know that I never did anything to harm her and apparently they are spreading these lies because everyone finally got to see what kind of guy he was when he was yelling at my ex at her graduation and pushing her around mainly doing everything I've been accused of by them I guess they're trying to get him to save face somehow. But yeah other than that I'm doing good and just living life.

 

I hope all is well with everyone!

[Marc878]

Everyone that knows you also knows the truth. She's not your problem anymore. You've done yourself a big favor staying dark. Never look back on this.

 

The person you loved probably never existed anyway. You are truly lucky to get out of this whole. Now you have much more wisdom and experience to draw from. In every dark cloud there is a silver lining.

[EgoJoe]

Sometimes they will do anything for a response. You've opted out of the game. Responding puts you back in the game at a loss because you decided to stop playing your game and to start playing theirs.

 

Right now because you're paying attention; you're a secret player and technically still playing your own game.

 

How to win as a secret player? Don't play. Block block block. Do amazing things. Let your light shine and keep moving on.

[Draper]

Hey you guys!

 

Just wanted to let you guys know I'm doing good finally found a job to hold me over while I fund my independent film projects and I have not talked to my ex at all in forever which has been great and I feel like im making great strides in getting over things, yes I have the occasional dream and thought about her but as soon as I do i remind myself that I'm not going to let that control me like I first did when I first made this post. I have lost around 65 pounds I'm actually looking quite well and fit now which is great, I've been doing the things I love again like going to concerts and traveling so life's looking up right now

 

However she did message me about 2 weeks ago saying she missed me and that she's back in our home town again for the summer, I haven't replied back and blocked this new account she made just to send me the message and now am just a lil worried that she's going to try to see me at work since her family ran into me at work one day. On top of that it's come to my attention from a group of friends that my ex and the guy she cheated on me with have been spreading rumors about me abusing my ex physically, sexually, verbally, and mentally for the entire length of our relationship which is ****ing absurd. Because I know as well as all our friends and family know that I never did anything to harm her and apparently they are spreading these lies because everyone finally got to see what kind of guy he was when he was yelling at my ex at her graduation and pushing her around mainly doing everything I've been accused of by them I guess they're trying to get him to save face somehow. But yeah other than that I'm doing good and just living life.

 

I hope all is well with everyone!

 

Glad to see you again Goodguy and its great to hear you're doing well!

 

I remember awhile back I posted about my ex saying some BS about me and you said this to me:

 

Let her think what she thinks of you. You know the truth and thats all that matters, my ex still tells people that i cheated and thats why she left me but i know thats not the case cause i would never dream of hurting her the way she hurt me. All that matters is what we think of ourselves Draper. Yes we've taken a mighty blow against our own egos and confidence but its up to us to pick ourselves up and be better people for our own sake. The last 6 months I've been given a lot of advice and realized a lot of different things. 1.) nothing is guaranteed 2.) be wary of everyone 3.) those closest to you are the ones that end up turning the knife and stabbing you deeper than anyone else can.

 

Take your own advice man, her new guy is just as much of a prick as your ex and honestly who cares what two ****ty people think of you. And anyone naive enough to believe them, well, screw them too.

 

It sounds like your doing great otherwise and I'm happy for you. I bet someday soon this will all feel just like a distant memory - the future is bright and one of the big things I've learned is to stop believing that my ex was the be all end all, I look around and see all of these other people who I would love to get to know and I've sort of come to trust that in time I'll find someone who I can be happy with. And you will too, there's a ton of people out there. Until then just keep looking out for yourself and don't let these *******s from your past bring you down.

[teenyfish]

Goodguy I just wanted to say thank you for this thread! I am going through the same thing and I cannot wait until I am where you are on the other side! I didn't find out about the cheating until after the fact with my ex, but I've been in NC since the break up and I have no intention of breaking it! I hope you are well and you are such a strong person!