treehugger101 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I have always lived under my parents roof for the past 28 years. And my parents have always told me with every guy I dated or was in a relationship with, "Don't fool around, or have sex in our household". I have obeyed them and have not at times. My Boyfriend can't understand as to why my parents have this rule, it's like your an adult, you should be able to do what you want, he says the girls he dated in the past, that their parents were fine if they made out or had sex in their house. So having him hear this from my parents is weird. Have any of you ever experienced this sort of thing? What would you do if you had kids and were in this situation? What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 (edited) I wouldn't want my kids - or anyone having sex in my house. I'm not a 'Motel 6'. Edited September 12, 2015 by UpwardForward 5 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Well I still live at home and I'll be 30 at the end of the year. However, my mom treats me like I am an adult and she would never ask me not to have sex in her home because she knows I'm an adult. If you are living at home, then you need to abide by their rules. I mean yeah, you're an adult and you should be able to do whatever you want, but if this is their rule, either deal with it or move out. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I have experienced this as a young woman and as a parent tried to enforce this rule that honestly shouldnt need to be even spoken about.........i was as a girl not allowed to have sex at all in my parents home in fact boys were not allowed in my parents home other than the lounge room to take me out.... or eventually when i was in a relationship i never had sex with any of my boyfriends in their parents home.....to me its more about respect.....and the rule didnt have to be spoken or enforced...i followed the unspoken rule out of respect for them and their house....but times have changed and enforcing this rule is often frowned upon by the teens growing up now...it should not be that way...the old rule should be respected as should the parents and the homes of said parents by boyfriends or for that matter girlfriends who walk into someone elses home..........deb Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 1) No 2) I wouldn't have a 28 year old child living at home. 3) Move out. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I think that he should respect your parents' wishes, and to tell you that they're incorrect for feeling as they do is rude. He should not be criticising your parents like that, and I hope you made sure he now knows that it's not on. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 because hearing someone have sex stirs up thoughts and feelings that can be inappropriate. like imaging your daughter's boyfriend naked. People have rules to protect their families. RESPECT IT! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
clam Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 The bigger question is why are you still living at home at age 28? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I have always lived under my parents roof for the past 28 years. And my parents have always told me with every guy I dated or was in a relationship with, "Don't fool around, or have sex in our household". I have obeyed them and have not at times. My Boyfriend can't understand as to why my parents have this rule, it's like your an adult, you should be able to do what you want, he says the girls he dated in the past, that their parents were fine if they made out or had sex in their house. So having him hear this from my parents is weird. Have any of you ever experienced this sort of thing? What would you do if you had kids and were in this situation? What should I do? You are fine with being with someone who has a history of recreational sex, and his seeking free accommodations for such? Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I wouldn't want my kids - or anyone having sex in my house. I'm not a 'Motel 6'. This^^^. And, yes, OP...I have experienced something similar. When I first moved to the town I'm in now, I needed to stay with my grown adult son at his apartment, while I got settled, found a job, and got my own place. For those 9 months that I stayed at his home, it was understood that any guy I was dating where sex was happening would NOT be happening in his home. I believe it falls under "appropriate boundaries". Most grown adults (regardless of their age) understand "appropriate boundaries". Your presumably grown adult boyfriend should have figured out - all on his own - that your parents are NOT your roommates. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 What you should do, if it bothers you, is to move out obviously. I don't understand why your bf 'can't understand' this. Most people understand that this is part and parcel of dating someone who lives with their parents (and is also part of why many people above the age of 25 DON'T want to date someone who lives with their parents). Why are you still living with your parents at the age of 28? Is it a temporary thing? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 My husband's mom put us in separate rooms when we would stay there for the holidays. She cited religious reasons because we weren't yet married. (Not that we would would have sex in their house anyway, blech) My grandmother, on the other hand, routinely pushed together the two twin beds in the guest room so when we visited, "we would have plenty of space to snuggle at night." She was also very religious, but was sex-positive in a way you wouldn't expect from a New England puritan. (Not that we would have sex in their house anyway, blech) My point is that when people have 'ground rules' for their children concerning who sleeps where and whether sex is allowed... it doesn't much matter whether you personally object to them. You are a guest in their house. And if you respect them, you will abide their rules, however idiosyncratic. Like other posters, I sense that the real issue here is that you're 28 and still living at home. If you want the freedom of adult life, you have to live like an adult. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I have always lived under my parents roof for the past 28 years. Pay rent? And my parents have always told me with every guy I dated or was in a relationship with, "Don't fool around, or have sex in our household". Long-standing house rule, evidently, and consistent. I have obeyed them and have not at times. Sounds like you respect your parents and aren't rebellious. At the core, there must be something about their rule or them which inspires this respect, or it wouldn't occur.My Boyfriend can't understand as to why my parents have this rule, it's like your an adult, you should be able to do what you want, he says the girls he dated in the past, that their parents were fine if they made out or had sex in their house. He says. So having him hear this from my parents is weird. He says. Have any of you ever experienced this sort of thing? Sure, lived at home until buying first house at 25 and obeyed house rules, even when paying rent. Why? Respect for the landlord. What would you do if you had kids and were in this situation? I'd communicate the house rules and trust that their respect for my leadership would inspire them to follow them. I'm not saying my rules would be the same as your parents. What should I do? IDK, what do you want to do? FWIW, young people have been dealing with this stuff for eons. That's why we had big back seats in cars, lover's lane, the riverbank, on and on. If home was off-limits, young people got creative. Myself, I bought a house and then did whatever I wanted to do. My mortgage, my rules. Heh. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 That's a good point, carhill. The issue seems to be the guy's inability to take no for an answer. Consider this, OP. Link to post Share on other sites
beanie66f Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 My Boyfriend can't understand as to why my parents have this rule, it's like your an adult, you should be able to do what you want, he says the girls he dated in the past, that their parents were fine if they made out or had sex in their house. Have I ever experienced anything like this? No. I went to school, got a job, moved out and made my own rules in my early 20's. Your parents, as you are probably aware, are not being unreasonable. Their house, their rules. Some rules in every house are non-negiotiable. it is not unreasonable to understand that parents should not be expected to endorse a lifestyle they don't agree to. I guess what I would tell the boyfriend is - My parents have welcomed me to live here under their protection and provision as long as I obey their rules. When the arrangements do not suit me, I'm free to leave. For now the arrangements suit me. Link to post Share on other sites
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