What is going on with this girl???

[thinkingguy]

Here is a quick review of the situation. Me and girl dated for 1 1/2 years. We broke up mutually, but the next day someone told me they saw her talking to a new guy. I freaked out and tried to get back together but she did not want to. 3 months later we have had very little contact until recently. I just called her randomly just to say hey and we talked.

 

So here goes the confusing part to me. That first time we talked she made it known that she was having a hard time getting over me. After getting off the phone she texts me saying "she wakes up some days thinking we made a mistake by breaking up".

 

Another time talking she asked if i missed her and then quickly renigged telling me not to answer. So i did not answer.

 

We have talked a few times since and she always mentions that she misses me or is having a hard time. Then after we get off the phone she texts me things saying how much she misses me or cannot shake the whole breakup.

 

Now i believe, but do not know for sure, that she is with this new guy while all of this is going on. What is she trying to accomplish by saying all of this stuff every time we talk. I assume she is just fishing for a response from me saying that i miss her and stuff, but i am not sure.

 

Can someone please explain what the heck is going on. Also every time we talk she sounds like she is going to cry.

[surely]

can you give some more info like how old you both are

[thinkingguy]

Oh sorry about that, just trying to make it short.

 

I am 21 and she is 20. I will soon be graduating college and will hopefully be in med school. Also i have recently begun talking with somene new. However, i am making it a point not to get to serious right now just b/c i am not ready.

 

This was definitely a very serious, mature relationship.

 

I am just very curious as to why she started seeing someone so recent and why she keeps saying stuff like that to me while she is with him.

[majorthird]

I think that after one and half year you have this sort of 'right' to at least know what's going on. If you still trust each other and care a bit about each other's well-being, you should be entitled to know. In the worst case she won't tell you. In the best case she'd be totally honest. Anywhere in between is the good possibility that she won't tell you exactly how it all started (especially if it started before the two of you properly broke up), but will let you know what the situation is right now. And that's what matters most, right?

 

I'd say: just ask.

 

Until you figured that out what's with the new guy, you have next to nothing to work with, and you'll end up making countless of assumptions you know you can't trust.

[thinkingguy]

I know i could just ask. And i know this is the second chance, but i do not necessarily want a second chance. I am just extremely curious into what she is trying to accomplish by saying the things she says to me. Like i have said, i have met a new girl who i have an interest in. I am almost positve that i would not get back together if she asked me to right now.

 

My ex was my first really seriuos g/f. I believe i have to date other people to see what else is out there. So this is why i say i would not get back together with her.

 

I just want some suggestions and some insight into what she says to me. Why would someone who has (even though it was a while back) made it known that she did not want to get back together, say the things she says. I mean, most recently she says that "sometimes she thinks we made a mistake by breaking up". Why say stuff like this especially when she has a alleged new boyfriend??

[outdated]

I am going through the exact same situation right now. She's seeing someone, I'm dating (nothing serious) and still when we talk even though it's not very often, I get the same responses from her as you are. Yet, she always sticks firmly with he guns about not wanting to be together. It doens't make any sense, so you have to just try and move on with your life, if she wants to be a part of it, she will. If not, then so be it. I believe my girl does have second thoughts about what she did, and I think she sometimes regrets it. But I also thinks she's stubborn, and any attempt to renig would be a sign of weakness.

 

So i say this: Keep on keeping on and see what happens.