27 Year Old Virgin

[DesperateAt27]

Not sure if this is the right place for this. I'll try to keep it short.

 

Four years ago I turned 23 and graduated from college. I had been living a hermit's life up to that point, so I had no friends, no social skills, no job prospects, and I'd never been on a date, kissed anyone, or even held anyone's hand. I spent the next four years conquering my fear of meeting people, and now I have a decent social life and a kickass career. I'm way more pleasant to be around, I've been lifting weights so I look fairly good, and I'm in a really stable and fulfilling part of my life. I've achieved everything I set out to do four years ago and more.

 

Except where dating is concerned. I focused entirely on other areas, and now there's nothing left but this. I finally started going to therapy early this year after sending a girl a message on OKCupid sent me into a month-long depression spiral, and haven't fared much better since then. At this point I can message people on dating sites and make small talk, but I can't get myself to go beyond that and make any kind of move. I went on one date a month ago, and she never got back to me after that so I guess I blew it. That's been really hard to deal with.

 

I'm struggling with the idea that no one would want to deal with a 27 year old virgin and all the inevitable baggage that goes along with that. It seems like a lot to ask for someone to lead me through my first sexual experience, and I don't know how I'd broach it to someone without weirding them out. The alternative is never bringing it up and faking my way to the bedroom, but I can't imagine that I could pull that off without screwing up and causing an embarrassing disaster, so I feel like being upfront is the only way to go.

 

I've never experienced love or intimacy, and it's killing me. Life doesn't seem worth living without it, but every day that passes puts it further out of reach, making me more desperate and frenzied to get it done. Why would anyone want to put up with my problems? Is there any hope for me?

[Jame22]

DO NOT ask anyone to lead you. Do not tell anyone. Just go on with your life like nothing is wrong. If you think you have baggage for some reason...drop it.

 

My first time at 24 was awful but I never would of got there in the first place if I was asking her to lead me and all kinds of creepy stuff. I went into it with no baggage and told her absolutely nothing. The sex was awful. Did she know I was a virgin? probably not, but who knows. At the end of the day it doesn't really matter and I don't care. That's the mentality you must have.

 

It's a year later I've been with 2 more girls and it seems like no big deal. It's really really easy once you get the hang of it.

 

You need to ask more girls out. The response rate on OKC is atrocious.

[Ami1uwant]

First piece of advice---lie lie lie about your sexual experience. You tell them you are a virgin you will scare them off. Anyone who says otherwise is lying or very religious/ religious past.

 

Have you watched enough websites to understand how to do sex? Any problems come up you say it's nerves.

 

Have you talked to your friends about finding people to date?

 

What has been the issue with asking people out from online dating sites?

[Mggreen]

Don't lie. Honesty is important! My ex lied about his lack of experience and I never forgave him. Not after 4 years.

 

I do believe your virginity isn't something to lead with...but if you want actual intimacy you need honesty as well.

[Jame22]

Don't lie. Honesty is important! My ex lied about his lack of experience and I never forgave him. Not after 4 years.

 

I do believe your virginity isn't something to lead with...but if you want actual intimacy you need honesty as well.

 

If she respects you chances are she won't even ask about your sexual history and it is not your responsibility to to let her know. If she asks and you're in a relationship then that is the time to let her know if you choose to do so. For the first few dates/make out sessions you say nothing

[highseas]

I agree with what some have suggested: do not tell your date that you're a virgin; you can admit to not having a lot of partners (technically not lying). If things don't go well in the bedroom, say you're nervous when it's the first time with someone new (which is kind of obliquely admitting to being a virgin, but it sounds like it's the first time with her--which is also a true statement). In a sense, you're still giving true statements without giving them the whole truth--that you're a virgin--which I don't think they're entitled to anyway, until they become your GF.

 

Alternatively, and this may sound crazy, you go all out and advertise that you are a virgin waiting for that special someone. Some girls may want to "take it away" from you. Who knows?

 

Watch some online stuff to get the basic "mechanics" down. Ask a few close friends about the the do's and don'ts. Basic instincts will take care of the rest.

 

The larger issue of course is getting to the bedroom itself in the first place. All of the above presumes that you've reached that stage already.

 

I struggle with this too. I am shy and don't socialize a lot (or only within a small group of friends who already have companions), and another problem is that I don't ask girls out a lot (which of course is due to not socializing enough to see a big enough pool of women and being comfortable in their presence). I have gotten a little better at asking girls out, but rejections still hamper my efforts. There are some successes in terms of getting a few dates (however, they didn't go far--another problem).

 

If you feel desperate, you look and act desperately, and it will be picked up by women and they will not like that. You have to be confident (or at least act like it until you get enough experience that you organically feel confident). You should feel good about your progress in other areas and your job achievements, etc. You should feel that you're a catch. Project that confidence. They will smell that too.

 

Get to know some women friends too and they can give you some pointers and you can observe their preferences.

 

Don't get too hung up on OKC or other online sites; males don't do well on them it seems. I've sent out many, many dozens of customized messages with only two responses from women that I'm not too keen on.

 

And finally, now that you've got your career and education in order, make finding a woman a priority. Start asking some of them out for coffee/lunch/dinner/fun activities. Ask friends to make introductions to women.

Edited September 13, 2015 by highseas

[Ami1uwant]

Don't lie. Honesty is important! My ex lied about his lack of experience and I never forgave him. Not after 4 years.

 

I do believe your virginity isn't something to lead with...but if you want actual intimacy you need honesty as well.

 

 

Do basically if he told you about his inexperience you would have dumped him then???

 

Only proves my point.

[Qboro90]

First off you I'll congratulate you on all the progress you've made over the last 4 years. You really should be giving yourself a ton of credit for developing a social life, a healthy physical routine, and establishing a career for yourself. Right there you're already ahead of the game. Don't put yourself down just because you're a virgin. What you should reiterate to yourself is that at your age now, women are more concerned and interested in the future and stability that a guy can offer them. The "hot, popular guy whose good in bed" is no longer a threat to you if that guy doesn't have a promising job or outlook going forward. So you are a prime catch based off what you've told us about your current situation.

 

Being a virgin.... Honesty man, the only one who is going to care about that.... Is You. The social stigma and perception of what you think girls want and how they'll react is in fact not anything to panic or stress yourself about.

 

With that being said, do not tell a girl or a potential date that you're a virgin. They're not going to tel you how many sexual partners they've had. If you had 100 sexual partners... Do you think thats something a girl is going to want to know and find attractive? Absolutely not. That would actually drive a girl away, so the fact that you're not carrying that kind of background is a plus. Start thinking of it that way.

 

You have 0 to lose at this point. Asking girls out is something you're just gonna have to bite the bullet and say "f%# it, if she says no, she says no, onto the next one". Girls are like subway cars... If you miss one, another comes along in 2 minutes . Dating is a game of failure. 99% of the people you ask out or date will end with it not working out. We marry 1 person right? So every single other person you'd ask out or be with, will fail. Expect it. It's not a reflection on you as a person, or them. It's just what's supposed to happen until you meet that 1 who it works out with.

 

You could have slept with 50 girls and still be terrible in bed. You could be a virgin and actually be incredible in bed. Confidence and getting out of your own head is all you need to be good at sex. Thinkin "what do I do now?... Or "does she like that?" Is the wrong way to look at it. I always had success straight out asking girls during intimacy "tell me what you want me to do" (obviously with a little flirtatious and daring innuendo) or putting them in control so that theyre dictating what we're doing.

 

4 years and look at all the progress you've made. Think long term. In 4 years from now you very well might be married and with the love of your life.

[Siquijor]

First off you I'll congratulate you on all the progress you've made over the last 4 years. You really should be giving yourself a ton of credit for developing a social life, a healthy physical routine, and establishing a career for yourself. Right there you're already ahead of the game. Don't put yourself down just because you're a virgin. What you should reiterate to yourself is that at your age now, women are more concerned and interested in the future and stability that a guy can offer them. The "hot, popular guy whose good in bed" is no longer a threat to you if that guy doesn't have a promising job or outlook going forward. So you are a prime catch based off what you've told us about your current situation.

 

Being a virgin.... Honesty man, the only one who is going to care about that.... Is You. The social stigma and perception of what you think girls want and how they'll react is in fact not anything to panic or stress yourself about.

 

With that being said, do not tell a girl or a potential date that you're a virgin. They're not going to tel you how many sexual partners they've had. If you had 100 sexual partners... Do you think thats something a girl is going to want to know and find attractive? Absolutely not. That would actually drive a girl away, so the fact that you're not carrying that kind of background is a plus. Start thinking of it that way.

 

You have 0 to lose at this point. Asking girls out is something you're just gonna have to bite the bullet and say "f%# it, if she says no, she says no, onto the next one". Girls are like subway cars... If you miss one, another comes along in 2 minutes . Dating is a game of failure. 99% of the people you ask out or date will end with it not working out. We marry 1 person right? So every single other person you'd ask out or be with, will fail. Expect it. It's not a reflection on you as a person, or them. It's just what's supposed to happen until you meet that 1 who it works out with.

 

You could have slept with 50 girls and still be terrible in bed. You could be a virgin and actually be incredible in bed. Confidence and getting out of your own head is all you need to be good at sex. Thinkin "what do I do now?... Or "does she like that?" Is the wrong way to look at it. I always had success straight out asking girls during intimacy "tell me what you want me to do" (obviously with a little flirtatious and daring innuendo) or putting them in control so that theyre dictating what we're doing.

 

4 years and look at all the progress you've made. Think long term. In 4 years from now you very well might be married and with the love of your life.

 

 

In a nutshell basically. Terrific advice.

 

 

For someone to turn their life around like you did OP at such a young age requires balls and I salute you for it. So going from a 27 year old virgin to the biggest porn star on the planet in four years shouldn't be a problem now, should it? I'm joking but do you see my point? Take encouragement from what you've already achieved and quit worrying. It's only a problem because you're making it into one.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

First off you I'll congratulate you on all the progress you've made over the last 4 years. You really should be giving yourself a ton of credit for developing a social life, a healthy physical routine, and establishing a career for yourself. Right there you're already ahead of the game. Don't put yourself down just because you're a virgin. What you should reiterate to yourself is that at your age now, women are more concerned and interested in the future and stability that a guy can offer them. The "hot, popular guy whose good in bed" is no longer a threat to you if that guy doesn't have a promising job or outlook going forward. So you are a prime catch based off what you've told us about your current situation.

 

Being a virgin.... Honesty man, the only one who is going to care about that.... Is You. The social stigma and perception of what you think girls want and how they'll react is in fact not anything to panic or stress yourself about.

 

With that being said, do not tell a girl or a potential date that you're a virgin. They're not going to tel you how many sexual partners they've had. If you had 100 sexual partners... Do you think thats something a girl is going to want to know and find attractive? Absolutely not. That would actually drive a girl away, so the fact that you're not carrying that kind of background is a plus. Start thinking of it that way.

 

You have 0 to lose at this point. Asking girls out is something you're just gonna have to bite the bullet and say "f%# it, if she says no, she says no, onto the next one". Girls are like subway cars... If you miss one, another comes along in 2 minutes . Dating is a game of failure. 99% of the people you ask out or date will end with it not working out. We marry 1 person right? So every single other person you'd ask out or be with, will fail. Expect it. It's not a reflection on you as a person, or them. It's just what's supposed to happen until you meet that 1 who it works out with.

 

You could have slept with 50 girls and still be terrible in bed. You could be a virgin and actually be incredible in bed. Confidence and getting out of your own head is all you need to be good at sex. Thinkin "what do I do now?... Or "does she like that?" Is the wrong way to look at it. I always had success straight out asking girls during intimacy "tell me what you want me to do" (obviously with a little flirtatious and daring innuendo) or putting them in control so that theyre dictating what we're doing.

 

4 years and look at all the progress you've made. Think long term. In 4 years from now you very well might be married and with the love of your life.

I wonder if the OP would be okay with the woman he loses his virginity to becomes his wife

[PogoStick]

Keep going hard at the therapy. Have them work with you on this problem. Bottom line, you should be focusing on finding a safe relationship and not worrying about the sex. You don't need to bring up the virgin part until your GIRLFRIEND and you are ready to have sex. In a safe relationship she will be willing to work with you on the virgin part.

[lana-banana]

When women say they don't like inexperienced guys, we're not referring to sex. [] The world is full of experienced men who are still dreadful at sex. If experience were all it took to have for a good sexual encounter no one would ever pursue a younger man.

 

So what's the problem? When I hear "27-year-old virgin", I don't freak out about someone fumbling around in bed, I worry about his inability to handle the ins and outs of a serious, long-term relationship. At 27 many women are ready to settle down, and they don't want to be with a guy without a history of steady relationships himself. Think of it like a resume: your work experience gives people a good idea of who you are, what you're trying to do, and where you've been. The guy who had a few two- or three-year relationships looks more stable than the guy who does hard drugs and hooks up with college girls on Tinder. Someone without any history at age 27 presents a lot of questions. She will have no idea what to expect, and that may be unsettling.

 

But if you approached me for a date and you were as mature and collected as you seem here, I'd give you a shot. I probably wouldn't even inquire into your past dating history until a few months had gone by, and by that point you might have won me over. I would never ask about your sexual history because it's none of my business and I really don't care. So long as you take your time and communicate with me in the bedroom (that includes listening as well as talking), we'll be fine.

 

Yes, having no prior partners at 27 is a red flag. But everyone has red flags; the key is how you handle them. I would much rather be with a partner who is trying to work past X issue than a partner who seems totally normal and in complete denial about X issue until it explodes.

 

tl;dr: yes, of course there's hope for you. You'll be fine.

Edited September 13, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language

[J21]

I don't think there is anything wrong with being a virgin at 27. I think you are making a mountain out of nothing (not even a mole hill).

 

You are blowing it up in your head way out of proportion to be the worst thing in the world.

 

I bet someone with STDs or AIDS would give anything to be a virgin.

[Popsicle]

I don't know, the virgin issue sounds a lot more appealing to work with than the baggage the jaded bitter dude has because he's been burned by women. One has hope and future prospect, the other one doesn't.

Edited September 13, 2015 by Popsicle

[BlueBlood]

Virgins can be good in bed, because being good in bed is in large part due to listening and responding to your partners verbal and non verbal cues. Trust me, there is no need to be hard as a rocket and go for hours on end. In fact, no thanks! Speaking as the proud owner of a vagina, that area can get chafed and sore if someone is glibly pounding away.

 

So if I were you and going to have sex for the first time? I'd take it slow. Not to over share but thinking of my SO and our early dates? This was what he did and it was mega hot then and remains so to this day. SO is great in bed and he's great at making me feel like he was super lucky to get me. That, not prior experience, to me, is what makes being his lover terrific. So here goes...Hmm..I'd much rather have a long slow make out session drawn out off and on as we cook dinner together, sipping from our wine glasses, he rubbing my shoulders gently as I stir a risotto, me kissing his neck as he shaves the truffle, maybe eat together curled on the couch with a bit of music or TV on. Light kisses and bites of choice morsels from plates shared. An attitude of pure enjoyment just delighting in your evening's partner should pervade. Often he will have bought a dessert, something light but delicious. (Lol a heavy meal is not often sexy, no one wants to feel a food coma).

 

After dinner, a wink or kiss as we put the dishes in the sink, then settle into the couch to swap foot rubs or have him play with my hair as I trace a hand along his side and thigh. Basically the slow build up. Once things progress to clothing hitting the floor, explore each other. Hands and mouths are fantastic tools and an orgasm or three prior to actual intercourse is a ok!

 

Since it'll be your first time I'd take it that way. Up against the wall half dressed quickies are lovely, but not my choice for my first time in bed with someone. Just my two cents!

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

When women say they don't like inexperienced guys, we're not referring to sex. [] The world is full of experienced men who are still dreadful at sex. If experience were all it took to have for a good sexual encounter no one would ever pursue a younger man.

 

So what's the problem? When I hear "27-year-old virgin", I don't freak out about someone fumbling around in bed, I worry about his inability to handle the ins and outs of a serious, long-term relationship. At 27 many women are ready to settle down, and they don't want to be with a guy without a history of steady relationships himself. Think of it like a resume: your work experience gives people a good idea of who you are, what you're trying to do, and where you've been. The guy who had a few two- or three-year relationships looks more stable than the guy who does hard drugs and hooks up with college girls on Tinder. Someone without any history at age 27 presents a lot of questions. She will have no idea what to expect, and that may be unsettling.

 

But if you approached me for a date and you were as mature and collected as you seem here, I'd give you a shot. I probably wouldn't even inquire into your past dating history until a few months had gone by, and by that point you might have won me over. I would never ask about your sexual history because it's none of my business and I really don't care. So long as you take your time and communicate with me in the bedroom (that includes listening as well as talking), we'll be fine.

 

Yes, having no prior partners at 27 is a red flag. But everyone has red flags; the key is how you handle them. I would much rather be with a partner who is trying to work past X issue than a partner who seems totally normal and in complete denial about X issue until it explodes.

 

tl;dr: yes, of course there's hope for you. You'll be fine.

 

So maybe he should target women in their early 20's, like over 21 but under 25, because maybe women like that are less likely to want to get married and settle down, inexperience not as big of a deal-breaker?

Edited September 13, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[DesperateAt27]

Thank you all for the responses, especially Qboro90 and lana-banana. I'll change my tack and keep my issues to myself to begin with, since that's the unanimous advice.

 

I feel like I started off on the wrong foot though. I didn't mean to highlight the virgin (as it relates specifically to sex) aspect, I just didn't know how to convey my total lack of experience all around. I'm certainly worried about how my first sexual experience will go, but my far bigger concern is with dating in general.

 

I can ask girls out and have a good time with them chatting and getting to know one another; it's everything after that that I have no clue how to handle. How do I take things to the next few successive levels? All I have to go on are media portrayals and the questionable advice of my friends, who are either well into long term relationships, or are loners like me without much experience, and when I think about it I'm struck with an unholy fear of failure and embarrassment.

 

I guess what I'm asking is, does anyone have a script? A list of tips? Signs and clues to do what when? A better place to look for more potential dates? I'm totally lost here, I'll take anything.

[William]

Folks, I did a bit of editing due to some language and one of our hydras showing up. I do want to point members to our published announcement on our individual and group berating policy at the top of this forum:

 

LoveShack.org Community Forums - Announcements in Forum : In Search Of...

 

As long as the main topic of the thread relates to establishing relationships, we'll leave it here in ISO. If it trends to surrounding sex and virginity, then we'll get it moved to our sex forum. Thanks and please continue!

[BlueBlood]

Thank you all for the responses, especially Qboro90 and lana-banana. I'll change my tack and keep my issues to myself to begin with, since that's the unanimous advice.

 

I feel like I started off on the wrong foot though. I didn't mean to highlight the virgin (as it relates specifically to sex) aspect, I just didn't know how to convey my total lack of experience all around. I'm certainly worried about how my first sexual experience will go, but my far bigger concern is with dating in general.

 

I can ask girls out and have a good time with them chatting and getting to know one another; it's everything after that that I have no clue how to handle. How do I take things to the next few successive levels? All I have to go on are media portrayals and the questionable advice of my friends, who are either well into long term relationships, or are loners like me without much experience, and when I think about it I'm struck with an unholy fear of failure and embarrassment.

 

I guess what I'm asking is, does anyone have a script? A list of tips? Signs and clues to do what when? A better place to look for more potential dates? I'm totally lost here, I'll take anything.

 

Oh OP, yikes, I misread you, so sorry about my earlier post! I thought you were more concerned with once you got to the point of intimacy with someone not all that leads to it ~blushing here~

 

I want to apologize for my hasty misinterpretation of your question. Especially if I in any way upset or offended! Seeing as I botched it so far it's probably for the best I leave any advice to others in the LS community, but I do wish you luck and happiness going forward.

 

Apologies,

B

[Mggreen]

Do basically if he told you about his inexperience you would have dumped him then???

 

Only proves my point.

 

I would not have dumped him. That would be ridiculous. I did lose respect for him permanently because he lied.

[Qboro90]

Thank you all for the responses, especially Qboro90 and lana-banana. I'll change my tack and keep my issues to myself to begin with, since that's the unanimous advice.

 

I feel like I started off on the wrong foot though. I didn't mean to highlight the virgin (as it relates specifically to sex) aspect, I just didn't know how to convey my total lack of experience all around. I'm certainly worried about how my first sexual experience will go, but my far bigger concern is with dating in general.

 

I can ask girls out and have a good time with them chatting and getting to know one another; it's everything after that that I have no clue how to handle. How do I take things to the next few successive levels? All I have to go on are media portrayals and the questionable advice of my friends, who are either well into long term relationships, or are loners like me without much experience, and when I think about it I'm struck with an unholy fear of failure and embarrassment.

 

I guess what I'm asking is, does anyone have a script? A list of tips? Signs and clues to do what when? A better place to look for more potential dates? I'm totally lost here, I'll take anything.

 

 

Well first explain what area you're being held up in. You said you're ok with asking girls out and going on a date and having a good time with them, so is it just the physical part of making a move to get a kiss at the end of the date, or moving past 1st base into sexual territory?

 

If it's just the kissing on/after a date part then here's a tip I always kept in mind.

If a girl accepts going on a date with you... Then you should already know she has pondered kissing/being open to intimacy with you so you should never worry about the "does she want to kiss me? Is she really into me? I can't tell". If you take a girl out to dinner, have a few laughs and even if you think the date wasn't spectacular or anything special, I'd say 90-95% of girls will at least kiss you if you go in for it at some point during the date.

 

I never waited till the end of the date to kiss a girl. I felt that by doing that it was building it up way to much and then everything leads up to that one moment of parting ways and going in for a kiss. Screw that.

 

Let's say I took a girl to dinner. I'd pick her up and usually would go for a drink or dessert place after dinner or at least a walk somewhere (park, anyplace near water is great). Either in the car or when we went for a walk I'd grab and hold her hand as we went (if you ask a girl "wanna go for a walk/dessert/drink... I know a really good place nearby, and she says ok... Then you should never fear holding her hand or trying to kiss her. If she didn't want to then she would say she's tired or something and ask u to take her home). So anyways when I'd be walking or sitting and eating dessert I'd stop and turn her and just flat out say one of these few lines ... Keep in mind that I have a pretty playful/humorous personality so the way you say it has to be a mix of confidence, cuteness, and charm. Easier said than done for some people .

- "I'm sorry, you look so incredible at dinner and I was planning on waiting to kiss you but if I don't get one now I'm not sure I'll be able to make it through the next 15 minutes" ... She'll laugh/blush and then you go in to kiss her

 

- if we were taking a walk I'd abruptly stop and take a deep breath. The girl usually asks "you ok?". Then I'd reply with "yes sorry I'm just running on fumes.... I think if I got a kiss that would recharge my battery" ...

 

Yea I know both are incredibly corny and a bit weird but in my younger days I found that if I got the kiss outta the way before the end of the date, then I'm guaranteed to have a better time, so is she, and I know she's into me and don't have to wait to the last minute to find out.

[DesperateAt27]

I'm held up in the general transition between nice platonic encounter and what makes it a date. I can chat about whatever for hours and have a great time meeting new people one on one, but clearly at some point something has to be said or done to transition it into romantic territory. I don't know how or when to do that, and the thought of having to do it at some point terrifies me because of my total ignorance.

 

Thanks for your other advice, that's definitely helpful. If anyone has any more tips, I'm open to anything.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Just to let you know OP I'm the same age as you and in a similar boat

[PogoStick]

If you feel you can get girls to dinner with you, one on one, then you're off to a good start. From there it's only a matter of time. Then next best step is to get rid of your fear of rejection. Again, if you're getting girls to dinner, then you can just push the boundaries, try holding her hand, put your hand on her thigh when sitting next to each other, put your arm around her while "showing her something on your phone". Eventually, you'll try for a kiss as you walk her to the car. Know you'll get rejected by several girls, but you'll start to learn the signals of when they are attracted to you, and how you can behave to push the odds in your favor. Sooner or later, some girl is going to WANT you to kiss her. Just keep trying until it happens. There's really no other way than to PRACTICE.

 

Start researching on how to flirt. It's the next step you need to hone. How to give her certain looks, be playful, joke around, sometimes a little suggestive and naughty. Do it now! Google "How to flirt with a girl". I'm sure tons of stuff will come up.

 

Here's a silly example. You could tell a girl early in the dinner date "You look amazing, I would do such dirty things with you (you might let her ask "Like what?" depending how she reacts to the first part)...like bury you in sand at the beach." It makes her mind go to a sexual place with you but it ends up being lighthearted and nonthreatening.

[warshaw]

First piece of advice---lie lie lie about your sexual experience. You tell them you are a virgin you will scare them off. Anyone who says otherwise is lying or very religious/ religious past.

 

Poor advice.

 

Your first sexual experience might just be with a girl you'll spend years with, or even marry.

 

You want to start a relationship with a lie like that?

 

Plus it's unnecessary. I've been with dozens of women. I can't recall the question of my experience ever coming up.

 

Except of course with my first girlfriend who devirginized me and that was cool because she was experienced and more than happy to teach the ropes to her inexperienced boyfriend.. but I digress.

 

No need to lie. Don't go there. Ignore any advice that suggests doing so.