suegail Posted May 15, 2005 Share Posted May 15, 2005 Okay, this is really bothering me and so I'm hoping for some advice. There is a gentleman who makes deliveries where I work. He does not work there, but does come in a couple times a week. He's asked me out repeatedly, and I've said 'no thank you.' Doesn't phase this guy. The next time he sees me he'll ask again, or make jokes about 'showing up' at my door, to which I reply, 'I would not appreciate that, I can assure you.' Nothing I say alters his composure whatsoever, and I'm tired of it. I'm really sick of it and I dread seeing him. Okay, without getting him into any kind of trouble with his employer, leaving that option out, what can I say which will put an end to this? Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted May 15, 2005 Share Posted May 15, 2005 You have absolutely no chance, not in a million years, or when Hell freezes over, pick one. Link to post Share on other sites
catnip Posted May 15, 2005 Share Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by suegail Okay, without getting him into any kind of trouble with his employer, leaving that option out, what can I say which will put an end to this? First off - I have no idea what UCFKevin is talking about in his reply to you Anyways, I have this very same problem at work, and I hate it. And I have to see him every freakin day. It started about 3 weeks ago - him madly crushing on me...constantly asking me if I'd like to go for a drink after work. I always reply - "sorry, got other plans". I'm saying this to spare his feelings, but it's not working. And it was particularly uncomfortable last week when he presented me with a single carnation, and with eyes gleaming said "here, beautiful - my feelings for you". 'Course that got the office gossip mill rolling, everyone noticing the pretty flower on my desk, and wanting to know who gave it to me...I didn't say, because I find the whole thing extremely IRRITATING. I need advice on how to handle this as well! Anybody?......please help both us gals out Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 15, 2005 Share Posted May 15, 2005 What UCFKevin is saying is nothing you do or say will discourage these guys. They're just horny bastards. Ever heard of sexual harrassment? That's what's happening to the two of you. You have every right to nail these guys for creating an uncomfortable work environment. You can also complain to the boss. If the boss is the guilty party, go directly to HR and file a complaint. That'll put an end to their antics, unless they want to get fired. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted May 15, 2005 Share Posted May 15, 2005 I thought what UCFKevin was saying is "here's a list of responses you can use to decline the man's request for a date. Select the one you like best." Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 15, 2005 Share Posted May 15, 2005 You're right, Lindya... I misread him. *oops* Nevertheless, these girls need to do something about their situations, unless they enjoy the attention. It's obvious those guys aren't taking them seriously, so they're doing something wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
catnip Posted May 15, 2005 Share Posted May 15, 2005 Oh...okay lindya - I get it now But those responses just are not my style. There must be a kinder way to do it...I hope. I'm not enjoying this unwanted attention - I'm there to work, not to find a guy. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 15, 2005 Share Posted May 15, 2005 Sometimes you've gotta put your foot down and just tell him like it is... after all, it is a business. Don't be afraid, just do it. Go to the boss if it persists. I did, and she left me alone, and I couldn't care less that she hated my guts for it. People should know better... Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted May 15, 2005 Share Posted May 15, 2005 I would recomend just ignoring them completely. Do not talk, respond or look at them in any way. After awhile they will realize that you will not acknowledge them and move on... Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 If you've told him blatantly that you don't appreciate his attentions and that he needs to stop it, I see no problem with contacting his employer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author suegail Posted May 16, 2005 Author Share Posted May 16, 2005 I appreciate all your responses. I guess what I sense with this person is just a bit of unstableness, just enough to make you nervous. I think Westernxer is right - - I probably did do something wrong. I laughed and smiled, but it was honestly out of nervousness. And I was trying to not be unkind. I really was, but maybe to him it seemed like a mixed message. I was firm though in what I said to him: "No, I will not go out with you. You need to not ask again." Catnip, I hope both our problems are soon solved... Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by suegail I think Westernxer is right - - I probably did do something wrong. I laughed and smiled, but it was honestly out of nervousness. And I was trying to not be unkind. I really was, but maybe to him it seemed like a mixed message. I was firm though in what I said to him: "No, I will not go out with you. You need to not ask again." Catnip, I hope both our problems are soon solved... I don't think you did something wrong by trying to be cordial... the guy needs a reality check, that's all. The guys at my old job made a big deal out of everything a girl did or said. Some of them were downright creepy. Give them a smile and they think you like them. Say hello and they boast about it to every guy in the office. Go to lunch with them and everyone talks s.h.i.t. about you. One guy even sent an e-mail to let us know about this hot chick we were planning to interview the following day. He was totally beside himself, as if he never saw a hot chick before. Puh-leaze! Suegail, please don't give me the credit... my only concern is that you're a happy and productive worker. We learn a lot about ourselves on the job, so keep your eyes and ears open. That said, I start a new job tomorrow, and I don't know if I'm ready to put up with all the sexual tension that awaits... wait, of course I am!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author suegail Posted May 16, 2005 Author Share Posted May 16, 2005 good advice, and i'll certainly take it. thank you, and good luck on the new job. Link to post Share on other sites
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