i messed up my chance

[peterop]

im 27 years old never really being in a proper relationship before. iv always had problems getting a girlfriend. iv being going into a coffe shop for about 2 years now. there was this girl there who liked me. i knew this because she would smile at me and often wave and i felt she just wanted to get to know me. at christmas time i got really down she was not there for 3 weeks. i looked her up on facebook. she is popular and i just got really jealous of all the guys that commented on her page like well call them flirty comments. my father had a affair when i was a child and i don;t know has this rubbed off on me because i felt a bit mad at her. i talked to her a little bit and after that i just withdrew into my shell again. the last time i seen her i completely avoided her even tough she passed by me. she always looks at me. i felt like **** and its was so busy. i went to my doctor because i felt that something wasn;t right. he said i had depression and gave me lustral. i don;t feel iv any confidence. and i feel sad. the last time i seen her she was not too happy with me. she just acknowledged the other person i was with and i just get dissapointed looks from one of the other girls that works there now. i just know that there is lots of other girls but i felt there was something about her that was really nice. everytime i go in i want to talk with her but i don;t. i havn;t seen her in 2 weeks and im afraid she might be gone. i know im shy and this doesn;t help. why am i like this? someone trys to be nice to me and i push them away. i am selfish.

Edited September 13, 2015 by peterop
missed a bit

[preraph]

First things first. You yourself said that your parents' past has so tainted you that you directly link the smallest thing (having Facebook friends) to your father's cheating. Of course, anyone is going to have Facebook friends and some will be flirty. So you know you can't hope to find someone who has no friends just to make you feel more secure.

 

Obviously, you were traumatized by things in your childhood, and you've done the smart thing and sought help from your doctor. Now I would urge you to talk to your doctor who gave you the antidepressant and ask him for a referral to a psychologist because in addition to meds, you also need to talk all this childhood stuff out with a professional.

 

You can't expect to get a girlfriend in your present state because you are going to have unrealistic expectations in order to make you feel secure, so you have to fix that first through therapy and the medication. So I'm assuming your doctor isn't a therapist. If he's not, then get one (either psychologist or psychiatrist) and start going. The sooner you sort all these feelings out, the sooner you can live a more normal emotional life. Good luck.