Still hurting

[brokenheart789]

We were together just short of 9 year anniversary, had to be long distance for work, busy, stressed out, trying to figure out getting married and he just couldn't be with me anymore. At the end we talked less and barely saw each other. I gave him space and thought we'd work it out eventually but he moved on, the new girl is basically living with him and they're already going on romantic trips together. It's been about 7.5 weeks since the break up, a little over a week since no contact, it's been so hard to not send messages. Last we spoke I told him I still love him, he told me to move on.

 

I've reasoned it all through, why it didn't work, why he's terrible, how I could never be with him again, but it still hurts. I still miss him. I can't stop thinking about him, constantly. I get more hurt because he obviously isn't thinking of me. It makes me feel terrible about myself, I loved him so much, all I wanted was to be his wife and start our life together and be ridiculously happy, finally be together again and he rejected me. He rejected a life with me. He chose someone else he barely knew over me after spending nearly a decade together.

 

I'm making strides, in better shape these days, being more social, going out, but he's always on my mind. He's all I think about. Him being happier without me, not missing me, being with someone else, falling in love with someone else. It still hurts so much. He was a good man, we were both responsible for pulling away from each other, we were stressed out, far apart. He was the love of my life and I let him get away because all I could think about was our future. We were both to blame for the end but still I can't help but go in constant circles on missing him then hating him. I've accepted that it's over for him but it's still painful. He way he ended things and how he was to me was horrible, but I still love him so much.

[Chronograph]

Hey, I know how you feel, hang in there!

 

Even though our rational minds tell us why they are terrible and treated us bad and hurt us and why we cannot be with them anymore ... it's a different matter for our hearts, it seems. They're not logical or rational. Also after nearly 9 years you're bound to be used to the other person, used to the relationship. And when it ends it's like a cold turkey. It's actually similar to a drug withdrawal, even if the relationship itself was "mature" and you were not clinging needily on to each other.

 

So, it's completely natural that you are hurting. 7.5 weeks is not much as well. My relationship lasted 15 years and I'm 4.5 months out and still not over it. Many people say it will take at least 6 months to a year (or more). So, yeah, sigh, hang in there. You're not alone! (My ex has a new girl as well, I bet she's already living with him, too. Horrible, horrible feeling!)