why these dating sites are promoting....

[Dora]

Infidelity???

 

dating sites are supposed for singles, but so many people state they are "married but looking" in their profiles, they dont feel shame at all.

 

and more, there are online "married but looking" chatrooms, there are huge web sites scuh as "marriedbutlooking com",

 

so what's happening? is Infidelity a pop culture now?

 

Since tobacco companies get sued all the time, why shouldnt these websites that promote infidelities get sued, too? for wrecking marriages and family values!

[candamar]

I don't think these websites can be blamed or held responsible for infidelity. If you're gonna cheat, you're gonna cheat, all they have done is brought the issue to the surface thus rendering people more aware of it nowdays. Since the internet became an everyday part of our lives many issues have been dragged into the limelight, issues that a lot of people were previously naive to and there will always be some unscrupulous person willing to cash in on these - hence the "married but looking" chatrooms.

 

Infidelity dates back to the year dot, it's always been there. Prior to the age of the world wide web affairs were born in other places, bars, clubs, with friends, in the workplace etc - the internet has just become another place to meet someone. Personally i don't think it's made it any easier, nor do i think the infidelity rate has grown as a result. If you are of the mindset to be unfaithful, temptation is all around, not just online. One could just as easily meet a lover in a bar or a club as they could in a chatroom.

 

I have been unfaithful in my marriage, and i am in fact having an affair right now. The first time i was unfaithful it was with a friend, whereas the man i have been seeing for the past year i met on the internet. I didn't set out to have an affair with either man, these things just happen - you meet someone, chat, something clicks and it develops from there.

 

Yes, we all have the ability to say no, but as i said, it comes down to mindset - if you're gonna cheat, you're gonna cheat.

[WithOrWithoutYou]

why these dating sites are promoting infidelity

 

Quite simple really - $$$.

 

Ever notice that these dating sites often charge membership fees?

 

There has always been infidelity. Welcome to the information age. Doesn't make it right, but $$$ is the answer to your question.

[Ladyjane14]

Originally posted by candamar

I have been unfaithful in my marriage, and i am in fact having an affair right now. The first time i was unfaithful it was with a friend, whereas the man i have been seeing for the past year i met on the internet. I didn't set out to have an affair with either man, these things just happen - you meet someone, chat, something clicks and it develops from there.

 

"These things just happen". Are you sure?

 

Reservoir Dog posted something a few months back that stuck with me. I'll paraphrase it, since I can't remember the exact verbiage:

 

'It's not like she was just walking down the sidewalk, slipped, and fell on his dick.'

 

That's brilliant isn't it? A very good analogy, which presents us with a visceral image.

 

The underlining thought here is that Infidelity is ALWAYS a choice. It's not something that "just happens".

 

To Candamar: I read your other thread. Even sick people can be a*holes. And while we might give them a little more latitude in respect or understanding of the difficulties they face.....that shouldn't equate to TOTAL permission to disrespect everyone else around them.

 

You didn't have to cheat. You could have left.....preferably, having first looked him right in the eye and telling him all that. i.e. "You can't disrespect me like this just because you're sick. I won't tolerate it."

 

That way, you wouldn't have had to deal with the guilt you're feeling in regards to the infidelity, as well as the "guilt" of leaving a sick mate.

 

Anyway, the idea that "married but looking" should be a legitimate classification in dating and porn sites is pervasive within them. It's weird, but when a person becomes involved in those communities, bad behavior can become THE NORM.

 

The folks who peruse those formats daily, are desensitized to the nature of what they are seeing over time. They might be able to identify it in real life, but are so caught up in the fantasy of the cyber-world that they fail notice their own belief-system is being slowly compromised.

 

Fantasy intrudes upon reality....and the next thing you know, your wife is packing up the kids and leaving you because, in her opinion.....you've become something of a deviant.

 

In the end, I think that if the "married but looking" crowd would put the effort into either repairing their marriage, or removing themselves from it....they would avoid sooooo much drama and anguish.

[candamar]

You're right, i didn't just pass him in the street and fall onto his dick! You're also right in that i didn't have to cheat, i mentioned something relating to that in my response to this thread, i.e. we all have the power to say no - even me. But in all honesty, if you had been in my situation for nigh on 20 years, would you say no if someone just happened to come your way and show you a lot of positive attention? I defy anyone to be flattered by it.

[moimeme]

But in all honesty, if you had been in my situation for nigh on 20 years, would you say no if someone just happened to come your way and show you a lot of positive attention? I defy anyone to be flattered by it

 

There's 'being flattered' and there's 'having an affair'. The two are very different things. And, really, it's not that big a compliment that a man wants to sleep with you. It's not all that flattering, in fact. He's horny, you're acceptable. Big deal. If you want out of a marriage, get out. Then you can be 'flattered' all you like.

[candamar]

I perhaps didn't word it too well and have maybe given the wrong impression. It is not all about sex, in fact we'd known each other over 6 months before we ever had sex. The fact he was interested in getting to know me as a person rather than simply wanting to get in my knickers as soon as possible was the flattering thing for me.

[moimeme]

Sorry. Still doesn't cut it. The fact that he was interested in getting to know a married woman is the first character flaw. And, again, that someone likes you doesn't mean you have to have an affair with him. If your marriage is unsatisfying, leave. You have turned yourself into a liar and a cheat - not exactly the uplifting way to conduct one's own life. If you need self-esteem, becoming a betrayer isn't the way to get it. Affairs are about deceit - you've embraced deceit as a way of life now. Not real easy to look yourself in the mirror, I'm guessing.

[candamar]

Perhaps you should read the thread i posted here myself (marriage section), maybe it'll give you an insight into my life.

 

I don't expect to be congratulated for having an affair, however, i look in the mirror and i am satisfied i am not a bad person.

[moimeme]

Then why post?