MuddyFootprints Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Do not contact him. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. If you feel threatened contact the proper authorities. This is where you regain your power. There is strength for you with no contact and no response. Do not respond. Do not send idle threats. Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 She read both post. She will decide. Relax Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I am perfectly relaxed, thank you. I don't have any emotional connection. Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I am relaxed also. And I do have a emotional connection 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 If she doesn't want alternative suggestions, she does have the option to take it all to PM. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted September 16, 2015 Author Share Posted September 16, 2015 Thanks everyone. I don't feel threatened, thankfully, so a lawyer is not needed. I don't feel out of control like I did a few months ago either. I feel at such a better place, even with MM attempting to connect with me again. I appreciate all suggestions, although I respectfully might not agree with all thoughts/suggestions. Thanks, it feels good to be back, Charger. Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Thanks everyone. I don't feel threatened, thankfully, so a lawyer is not needed. I don't feel out of control like I did a few months ago either. I feel at such a better place, even with MM attempting to connect with me again. I appreciate all suggestions, although I respectfully might not agree with all thoughts/suggestions. Thanks, it feels good to be back, Charger. I'm glad you are in control. wait, OM is still till this very moment chasing you ??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted September 16, 2015 Author Share Posted September 16, 2015 Qubist... Yes. MM still is. He's a dirt bag. Complete a hole. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Qubist... Yes. MM still is. He's a dirt bag. Complete a hole. do you know his wife? use that as a threat wow he must like what you had to offer insisting after you expressed a NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted September 16, 2015 Author Share Posted September 16, 2015 Gotta admit, that made me chuckle. I am not sure if that's it, or he's just very opportunistic in nature and hopes I'll cave like I did for a whopping 4 years. Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Gotta admit, that made me chuckle. I am not sure if that's it, or he's just very opportunistic in nature and hopes I'll cave like I did for a whopping 4 years. Yes he is opportunistic make no mistake about it. You have to find a way to stop this. Ignoring for now is working but I'm afraid he is too persistent. What are the chances you can change your contact information like numbers and email? Threatening him could also help. By telling his wife, work ior authorities Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted September 16, 2015 Author Share Posted September 16, 2015 If he doesn't stop soon, a "my husband knows and will tell your wife if you contact me once more"....should do it. Due to the schooling set up, there will need to be some LC to some degree, which I'm fine with as long as it remains professional in nature. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
m.snow Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 If he doesn't stop soon, a "my husband knows and will tell your wife if you contact me once more"....should do it. Due to the schooling set up, there will need to be some LC to some degree, which I'm fine with as long as it remains professional in nature. wait... absolutely no contact with OM. professionally or otherwise. i don't understand the school dynamic is he a teacher? change school if possible or not be the one to bring the kids to school. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 If he doesn't stop soon, a "my husband knows and will tell your wife if you contact me once more"....should do it. Due to the schooling set up, there will need to be some LC to some degree, which I'm fine with as long as it remains professional in nature. Your H may not be ok with it. Are you prepared to change jobs if you decide to confess and work on your marriage? I tried to be flexible with my wife; I gave her 90 days to transfer to another location. Even with my good intentions, I lost my fool mind at about 45 days. ETA: or perhaps it means moving elsewhere so your kids don't go to school there. Link to post Share on other sites
TX-SC Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 If he doesn't stop soon, a "my husband knows and will tell your wife if you contact me once more"....should do it. Due to the schooling set up, there will need to be some LC to some degree, which I'm fine with as long as it remains professional in nature. This will work a whole lot better if your husband actually DOES know. Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 What's with the "if he doesnt stop soon" Stop soon? How about sending the message today. Why do you have to have any contact, even professional in nature as it regards to your children? Can he not communicate with your husband? Is it really that important that you allow it to effect your personal growth? He can just as well send a message or call your H as he could talk to you. I have a child in sports, so it can be done. And SHOULD be done, regardless of the inconvenience. Work is one thing, but you dont have to have LC at the school. Concrete steps. You are at the WTF point, but you still havent shut this down. Blocking isnt working. Link to post Share on other sites
nightmare01 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 My WW punted her OM before my Dday, and she did it in NO uncertain terms. First over the phone - I only have her word for what was said, then when he refused to back off she did it over email, and I saw that email and it was beyond brutal. Even after that OM tried to sneak in to her sphere by pretending to be a woman on an animal rescue forum she belonged to.. when she discovered what he was doing she went completely scorched earth and blasted him, then threatened to contact his wife should he ever contact her again in any way. That is what a WW does if she wants to even try to recover her marriage. DON'T PLAY NICE. DON'T TRY TO LET OM DOWN EASY. YOU SHOULD NOT CARE ONE BIT ABOUT HIS FEELINGS. YOUR HUSBANDS FEELING SHOULD BE 1000+ TIMES MORE IMPORTANT THAN OM'S. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 (edited) I want to replace my post with Nightmares post. Get this done SB Edited September 17, 2015 by 66Charger Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shinebrightforever Posted September 17, 2015 Author Share Posted September 17, 2015 Thanks everyone. I also work with the school system. I can't give you more than that on this public forum. I would have to quit my job to go full out NC. Sorry if this seems confusing...just trust me on this. It's a complicated thing. Not being cowardly. This is not motivated by me caring about MM feelings. At ALL. This is about finding a way to keep this door slammed shut on the A without quitting my job or uprooting my children from their social world. Charger...maybe stop soon wasn't the right way to say it. If he continues....I have that wonderful sentence to say. Even if it's before I actually confess to H. Link to post Share on other sites
nightmare01 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Shine: I understand that you want to shield your children from the consequences should you quit your job because of your affair. Where does your husband's feelings fit into your plans? Shouldn't his feelings be more of a priority? Of course I don't know enough about your situations to push hard for one thing or the other. I can say that had my wife stayed anywhere she might be in touch with her MM - even if she were to swear on the lives of our children that nothing was going on - it would have driven me insane. I just want to emphasize the just horrible and insane feelings a BS has. There just are no words I can write here that would in any way describe the agony your husband will feel. And if there is any possibility you might have any contact with your OM.. it would be horrible.. and frankly it could well jeopardize your chance the recovery of your marriage. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 This is about finding a way to keep this door slammed shut on the A without quitting my job or uprooting my children from their social world. I think it's important to note that your job and your children's social life came with no mention of the priority of your betrayed husband or marriage. You cannot sit here and pretend that he and your marriage won't be a factor in your decisions, should you decide to confess for the sake of salvaging your marriage. You are going to be forced to choose amongst your numerous priorities that your choices shat upon. What is with the delayed confession? How many hands are you going to play at once? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sammy7111 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Stop blame the other guy your the one cheated in your marraige Link to post Share on other sites
sammy7111 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 I bet your husband's life Isn't going to be shining Brite for a long time. Tell he finds a true wife. Link to post Share on other sites
m.snow Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 I bet your husband's life Isn't going to be shining Brite for a long time. Tell he finds a true wife. you should read her first thread. you'll find something interesting about the husband. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Thanks everyone. I also work with the school system. I can't give you more than that on this public forum. I would have to quit my job to go full out NC. Sorry if this seems confusing...just trust me on this. It's a complicated thing. Not being cowardly. This is not motivated by me caring about MM feelings. At ALL. This is about finding a way to keep this door slammed shut on the A without quitting my job or uprooting my children from their social world. Charger...maybe stop soon wasn't the right way to say it. If he continues....I have that wonderful sentence to say. Even if it's before I actually confess to H. I see this marriage not lasting for the WW is putting job and other things in front of protecting her family with NC from the POSOM. She rather keep her job and not move her family far away from the OM then save her marriage. At least we now know where her priorities are. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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