LookAtThisPOst Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Something I've been hearing about single women complaining is that at most speed dating events, the ratio of women to men are staggering. Like 5 women to 1 man. I remember going to a newly founded singles event, where I was even the ONLY man there, though it was advertised. Can anyone account as to why? Perhaps men aren't motivated to attend these singles exclusive events, but women are more so on a mission than men? Is this telling of such things? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I tried to go speed dating years ago. I finally demanded a refund because they cancelled 4 events for lack of men. I lost faith that they would ever have enough participants to hold an event. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted September 14, 2015 Author Share Posted September 14, 2015 I tried to go speed dating years ago. I finally demanded a refund because they cancelled 4 events for lack of men. I lost faith that they would ever have enough participants to hold an event. Wow...I wonder what this says about the men in the area not desiring to go? Where are they on a Fri or Sat night when Speed Dating is usually scheduled? lol. (Sat. night where I live.) Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 The speed dates were always set up for Monday through Thursday, none on the weekends. Every time I hear a guy especially in a bar lamenting the fact that he can't meet anybody I tell him to go speed dating & bring a buddy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I do not understand the appeal. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I do not understand the appeal. It's a structured way ot make sure you meet large groups of people. I'd liken it to in person OLD, instead of profiles you speak to folks. Link to post Share on other sites
circlesinfinity Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Something I've been hearing about single women complaining is that at most speed dating events, the ratio of women to men are staggering. Like 5 women to 1 man. I remember going to a newly founded singles event, where I was even the ONLY man there, though it was advertised. Can anyone account as to why? Perhaps men aren't motivated to attend these singles exclusive events, but women are more so on a mission than men? Is this telling of such things? I assume that they may find it silly to go or think they wouldn't find anyone there. I can't speak for them of course, I am a woman. I wouldn't go though. I think women go for the experience, I think we're more willing to give new things a try to find love. What is it like? Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I would give speed dating a try, but I feel more like I'm in a meat market. If the ratio was this skewed though, I'd give it more of a chance. It would contain less of the same mentality that plagues OLD. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I've never been to one, but in this area I've noticed there is usually a waiting list for women while the men's invitation is still open. So I imagine they are trying to balance the numbers. The singles meet ups (at least for the over 40 crowd) also appear to have more women than men. I don't belong to any singles meet ups but I have seen the events taking place at the local pub. Why is this? Have men given up? Are they too busy watching sports or porn or whatever to even care? I don't go because honestly I haven't felt the need. I can go on an OLD site and find a date if I ever need to. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Because what men need is MORE added pressure with a TIMED event. It cheapens the whole experience when you are doing it this way. Women STILL expect men to be the first to initiate, and then you have to do it 20 times in one night? And then you might not even get a single number? Trust me, it's exhausting. It's easier to just go online and get rejected there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 It cheapens the whole experience when you are doing it this way. Women STILL expect men to be the first to initiate, and then you have to do it 20 times in one night? And then you might not even get a single number? I'd say the woman has already initiated at least 50% of the way just by joining speed dating and be willing, nay eager, to spend the speed date with you. With the ratio so favorable to men, I would imagine none of the women would risk being seen ostentatiously or rudely rejecting a man or acting like she couldn't care less about finding one. The act of joiningg speed dating makes it clear she really wants a man. If I were a man looking for a woman, I would be peeling out of my driveway right now trying to find one of these events. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I'd say the woman has already initiated at least 50% of the way just by joining speed dating and be willing, nay eager, to spend the speed date with you. With the ratio so favorable to men, I would imagine none of the women would risk being seen ostentatiously or rudely rejecting a man or acting like she couldn't care less about finding one. The act of joiningg speed dating makes it clear she really wants a man. If I were a man looking for a woman, I would be peeling out of my driveway right now trying to find one of these events. That's like saying women have already initiated at least 50% of the way when they join a dating website. Doesn't work that way though, no matter how much "effort" you think women are putting into it. They're not eager to spend a date with me, they are eager to spend multiple time condensed sessions with someone who they might actually go out with. Sorry, but that 50% number drastically reduces in this scenario. All women did was show up. Might as well see your profile and picture online. My odds are probably slightly higher speed dating. But is it worth the "effort"? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Diezel Have you ever done it? I have gone speed networking, similar concept but for business not dating. It's really pretty painless & not as awkward as you think, even when you are asking & answering the same Q over & over. In college every asked What's your major? It's just a get to know you thing. I think that anybody who commits to the process, pays their entrance fee & shows up is at least worth meeting. It's a high intensity low commitment thing but it is more of a commitment then a free OLD site. While you might not meet the love of your life, you have a better probability of getting a date then on OLD. You know more about the person then when you are trying to arrange that 1st cup of coffee / 1st meet thing. Also these things are usually in a bar or public place so you might meet somebody who is just there fortuitously. It's at least more interactive then staying home. It's about a hand shake & a few preliminary Qs. Although I never got to try speed dating for the lack of men, I thought about my attendance. I came up with a Q that I thought would give me some insight into a man in a few minutes but not be the same old same old stale Qs everybody was asking. I vowed to accept a date from anybody who asked me an unusual Q, unless I was completely repulsed. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Can anyone account as to why? It's a social thing and men are an easy target to pick apart, especially strangers. Back when online dating was new, one service promoted us putting together our own singles events and I saw this personally too. I was great as an organizer and step and fetch but, well, let's just say, not attractive. Perhaps men aren't motivated to attend these singles exclusive events, but women are more so on a mission than men? IDK, probably the smart men knew it was more productive to hunt in a more fluid and less contrived environment. I compared and could see traction for that. One example was I did far better at weddings than at singles events, even though I was a lackluster dancer. The women, OTOH, enjoy the events for the event since they, in my demographic, got propositioned daily. The event was simply one more venue and having a good time with other gals and maybe making some new friends or professional associations. Women are networkers. Is this telling of such things? IMO, it's not conclusive, only anecdotal. We all have differing experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I seem unable to 'find' any in my area. Can you find listings online? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted September 14, 2015 Author Share Posted September 14, 2015 I don't go because honestly I haven't felt the need. I can go on an OLD site and find a date if I ever need to. If you're a man in online dating, that's not likely to be true. You'd stand a better chance in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Because what men need is MORE added pressure with a TIMED event. It cheapens the whole experience when you are doing it this way. Women STILL expect men to be the first to initiate, and then you have to do it 20 times in one night? And then you might not even get a single number? Trust me, it's exhausting. It's easier to just go online and get rejected there. It sounds daunting. Link to post Share on other sites
popcornpuff Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 (edited) I remember going to a newly founded singles event, where I was even the ONLY man there, though it was advertised. Color me surprised! I would have bet money that the gender ratio would be the other way around. OP I'm curious, what was your experience being the only man there? Was it easier to talk to women, or was it more awkward without any other males? Edited September 14, 2015 by popcornpuff fixed grammar Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 To be the only guy in a room with a group of women looking for a man... what is the problem with this?? Speed-dating is only something I've seen in tv sitcom scenes. It seemed superficial to me, but still sounds like a fun idea! If you go about it with a light heart, it might be a fun event just to have a quick convo with different ladies. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I seem unable to 'find' any in my area. Can you find listings online? There are a couple of different franchises that run them. I think Hurry date is one of them. SpeedDate.com is the biggest company I think. * minute dating is another one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted September 14, 2015 Author Share Posted September 14, 2015 Color me surprised! I would have bet money that the gender ratio would be the other way around. OP I'm curious, what was your experience being the only man there? Was it easier to talk to women, or was it more awkward without any other males? Well, it was the organizer's idea, she was rather excited about it...it was actually a Christian singles Meetup for a particular section of town. Of course, I heard afterwards there were complaints about there only being women mostly there (except me.) Most none of them returned, but the best friend of the organizer at the 2nd Meetup. This time, I'd say only 6 arrived, but the organizer had a death in the family, so her BFF hosted, but she had to leave about an hour into it. After that, there were no return people anymore...as a result, the organizer decided to invite out some single ladies from her Bible Study to a street market/band event. These ladies were not really approachable, as each were coupled with their own best friends. A couple left early, a woman I tried to talk to said she was only part of the Bible study and was invited here...I asked her if she planned on joining the singles Meetup... and she seemed a bit uncomfortable with the topic and said, "No, I'm too busy going back to school for my Masters." The Aftermath: Spoke with the organizer about it, said the remaining Bible Study single ladies were not really keen on the whole singles Meetup idea as most were bitter or realing from their divorces...she thusly disbanded the group. Funny, the waiter for our first Meetup was like "Wow, you're the only man here in the group?!" And we kind of chuckled. I attempted to make nice with a couple of the ladies there, but they weren't too engaging in conversation. It was kind of an elitist part of town anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 speed dating is a waste of time for most individuals Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I think speed dating is a situation that most women would do better in than men. Most men aren't particularly big on being chatty and small talk. I know personally for me, I don't think I could sell myself at all as a potential date in a speed dating situations. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 I actually kinda wanna try this now... I probably won't, but I do. oh, the road not traveled! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 I saw a topic on another forum in regards to a speed dating event she went to. She said most of the men there seemed to be trying too hard, or not trying hard enough, to not having any idea of what they were looking for in a relationship. According to her, she figured that due to her face-to-face encounters with these men, that they've lost faith in the process of meeting women. To be honest, I think there may be some validity to that statement...is as they were just going through the motions and nothing more. Some replied how some had their faced buried in their smart phones prior to the start of the speed dating event. Another poster remarked how they "felt cooler online" than off. She was actually surprised they weren't "sex-starved". As if their libido fell off the planet. Of course, there were some responses stating that ANY event geared specifically towards singles meeting singles, likely won't yield an enjoyable experience due to the social awkwardnesses of the singles themselves. Basically, if you go to a speed dating event, singles mingles, etc. You'll be guaranteed that most of them there will be socially awkward idiots that don't' know how to talk to people. Of course, if you're willing to pay 30 bucks for said event for this to happen, knock yourself out. lol Thoughts on this? Do you think that some people, though they tolerate singles meetups/speed dating, etc events...are they just going through the motions, complacent, dead inside? Link to post Share on other sites
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