NinjaTurtlesAreCool Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 To be honest, it simply doesn't appeal to me. I don't want to be rushed around and if the idea is just to see whether you like the look of someone then you may as well either show a photo and say yes or no. I'm guessing I'm missing something with the whole speed dating thing but the whole concept just seems to be a case of constantly plonking people in front of one another until two people go "oh ok". I know the fact that there are more women than guys is supposed to make a single guy like me think "oh good, the odds are more in my favour" but that's not what it's about to me. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 I've done it three times. Nothing came out of it, but I'd do it again. There were less men, but not by much, but the quality was rather low. I couldn't make a match. Once I did (chose a guy who also chose me) but the guy flaked so oh well... Link to post Share on other sites
shet Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) Few reasons; Women even now, particularly out of their 20's, are still loathe to engage in OLD simply because they don't want to have to feel like they resorted to it. But they'll pile into any other way of dating in droves. In my meetup groups, nearly every woman has a finger in a myriad of offline dating methods, and nothing online at all, and when you question lack of Tinder or OKC profiles, they all scoff. Men are still expected to drive the conversation as they're expected to drive every ****ing thing, it's exhausting. Men are results/goal oriented. Women go to a dating event, they strike out or turn everything down, no big deal they say and sign up for next months. Men strike out at one, they never go again. The biggest reason: It's competitive. A man at a dating event is competing with other men there. Clearly, directly. Man A leaves empty handed, Man B walks out with someone on his arm or gathers a book of numbers, Man A feels beaten - is beaten. He won't tolerate that for long, just won't expose himself to that environment again. Women don't seem to feel this way about things, they should, since the same thing applies. Maybe they maintain a hand-wavey "they were obviously more right for each other" attitude when other women get the men. It's exactly the same on OLD of course, just as competitive, but nobody can see how badly they fail compared to who succeeds, so it doesn't affect them. Edited October 1, 2015 by shet Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I went to a speed-dating event once. Of twenty-four women there, none were interested in dating an Indian man. I have no way to prescreen for this before going to an event, so I see no reason to subject myself to that in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Something I've been hearing about single women complaining is that at most speed dating events, the ratio of women to men are staggering. Like 5 women to 1 man. I remember going to a newly founded singles event, where I was even the ONLY man there, though it was advertised. I've never heard this. If this is the norm, no idea why I haven't hit it up. You can't find ANYWHERE with an abundance of single, young women it seems. Women even now, particularly out of their 20's, are still loathe to engage in OLD simply because they don't want to have to feel like they resorted to it. But they'll pile into any other way of dating in droves. In my meetup groups, nearly every woman has a finger in a myriad of offline dating methods, and nothing online at all, and when you question lack of Tinder or OKC profiles, they all scoff. Wait, online dating is more desperate seeming than speed dating? I would have not thought of it as such. Online dating is almost the norm at this point... I know of no one who's resorted to speed dating. That said, I like the 5:1 odds being alluded to here. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Why limit yourself to just women that show up to speed dating events. Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Why limit yourself to just women that show up to speed dating events. Because I am um... straight... I think they have other ones if you're more... um... flexible that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) I suppose you can go to those things for a little man on man action too if that's your thing, but actually I was referring to the world outside where you can find more choices in women and not feel obligated to interact with ones you have no interest in. Once you get the hang of it, it's pretty easy to talk to random women where ever. I don't think there is anything wrong with an organized way to meet people, however it is limiting. I've gone to one event where you wear green/red to show if you're open to socializing/dating/meeting someone new and I thought that was pretty fun. It was just some bar in the city where people that were in that meet-up agreed to do that. No musical chairs, no anticipating or dreading if someone chooses you or not. Just go there, drink some beers and if you see a girl that interest you and she's wearing green, go up and talk to her like a person and not an interview. I think that is closer to real life, it's just people aren't wearing colored clothing to indicate how receptive they are. I just felt it was a lot more open atmosphere with less expectation that you have to do anything. edit: I go to a bar, just because I like going to bars for a lot of reasons. If I go to a speed dating event, there is only one reason. Edited October 1, 2015 by Imported Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) Cool story bro... ..but yeah I go to a lot of things a lot of places. Choices in women suck generally, so I might give speed dating a try. Edited October 1, 2015 by impatiently_patient Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I used to go to speed dating events with a big group just to keep ONE girl who wanted to go company. I wasn't interested in the actual speed dating itself. I think part of it is women going in groups for fun. I also think men are typically more comfortable with the voyeuristic aspect of online dating and women more comfortable with actually showing up to meet in person. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I would totally consider trying it. I'm a guy. There's no work involved. All the girls go to you. Talk for a bit and then rotate. What's not to like about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 Wow, this is QUITE telling. One benefit of Meetups as they can "tattle tale" on a member. lol. There's 2 women that I had known through previous Meetups that are now currently in relationships, but I had recently seen photos of them from a local speed dating event uploaded online. I have them as friends on Facebook, so I would check there and see their relationship status as "currently in a relationship", one with the main profile pic of her in an embrace during a slow dance. Looks like they are looking to trade up. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Something I've been hearing about single women complaining is that at most speed dating events, the ratio of women to men are staggering. Like 5 women to 1 man. I remember going to a newly founded singles event, where I was even the ONLY man there, though it was advertised. Can anyone account as to why? Perhaps men aren't motivated to attend these singles exclusive events, but women are more so on a mission than men? Is this telling of such things? Of course. "speed dating" is something which *fits* women ideally, in that they can 'get' dates whenever they decide they want them (clarity: that does NOT mean "dates with whomever the ONE, unattainable fixation of the moment happens to be")... so the rapid-fire pace at which speed dating occurs is a grand match to women alone. When you get scores and scores of offers, taking anything more than mere moments to winnow the many possibilities is counterproductive to the giant task at hand. A woman willing to focus her effort on meeting many more prospects can always attain that goal merely for putting her mind to it. What holds women back is the ease with which they fixate on some (random guy who barely cares)... and thus when the very-married guy at the office uses a willing woman for sex, she decides to fixate on the unlikely prospect of wooing him away from his wife rather than dare to accept the bit of humility usually required for OLD and/or "speed dating" in the real (single) world. Men, by contrast, get far fewer at-bats, and are perhaps even less comfortable in the role of prospect being tossed-about in the waves of speed-dating or OLD than are the women who pick-and-choose there. Most of the challenges and frustrations which come with dating are things we ourselves cause or inhibit. Link to post Share on other sites
Pillow Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 I went to a geek speed dating event. I'm a girl (26). Men had to pay $20 to get in. Women got in free. There were more men than women signed up but only slightly extra men. Women got to get in and pick their seats and men had to wait outside. They told us to warn them if a guy became too creepy because they had incidents before. The event lasted 4 hours because there were so many people. I think the women were like "cool beans; it's free" and the men were like "you know $20 bucks is not so bad." You got 2-3 minutes with each guy. Then, you write down their names and numbers, if you like them. Some men pages were filled to the brim with numbers while others... not so much. For a random military guy, I had to find a place to squeeze in my name because everyone wanted him to contact them. Plus, women were putting decorations near their names so they could stand out a little more. He was a bro and he used a cheesy pick-up line on me. He was goodlooking though. I don't know how women fared because I could only look at my card. (I had good amount of numbers.) At the end, it was awkward because they told the men they had to silently grab their sheet with the names and numbers and leave the room and not disturb anyone once they got it or come back in. It just seemed like they thought the men were going to attack the women or something. So, he called the men up one by one to get their papers. After all the men left, we could just grab ours on the way out. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 For a random military guy, I had to find a place to squeeze in my name because everyone wanted him to contact them. Plus, women were putting decorations near their names so they could stand out a little more. He was a bro and he used a cheesy pick-up line on me. He was goodlooking though. Ha, you threw in the "though", as an excuse or reason to overlook his cheesy pick-up line. Almost doesn't matter what words he used, his looks did most of the talking. He could have sat there, smiled, never said a word, and still would have had women drawing little decorations next to their names to stand out in his sheet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 At the end, it was awkward because they told the men they had to silently grab their sheet with the names and numbers and leave the room and not disturb anyone once they got it or come back in. It just seemed like they thought the men were going to attack the women or something. So, he called the men up one by one to get their papers. After all the men left, we could just grab ours on the way out. That's pretty sad man. I heard of a certain single business that's going around to the conventions doing "Geek Speed Dating." Not sure if this is the same one. Knowing this info, I'd likely not attend as they treat their PAYING customers like scum/stalkers/weirdos, you name it. Why even have such an event if you're going to treat people like that? Link to post Share on other sites
SOB86 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 I would go but I've never seen advertisements for such events. Even if I did I would assume it would be mostly men. Link to post Share on other sites
shet Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 For a random military guy, I had to find a place to squeeze in my name because everyone wanted him to contact them. Plus, women were putting decorations near their names so they could stand out a little more. He was a bro and he used a cheesy pick-up line on me. He was goodlooking though. End the thread there. Nothing more needs to be said Link to post Share on other sites
froz Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 This is always the case, most men can't stand the idea but also deep down it's the pressure they have to impress, say the right things etc. So I reckon that's what really going on here. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Something I've been hearing about single women complaining is that at most speed dating events, the ratio of women to men are staggering. Like 5 women to 1 man. I remember going to a newly founded singles event, where I was even the ONLY man there, though it was advertised. Can anyone account as to why? Perhaps men aren't motivated to attend these singles exclusive events, but women are more so on a mission than men? Is this telling of such things? Will admit, the title of this post shocked me, I would have thought it would be the reverse Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted October 16, 2015 Author Share Posted October 16, 2015 Will admit, the title of this post shocked me, I would have thought it would be the reverse Yeah, you would think...because if you go to a ladies night at a local watering hole, I'm banking it's the other way around. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Yeah, you would think...because if you go to a ladies night at a local watering hole, I'm banking it's the other way around. And plus, men overwhelmingly outnumber women on pretty much every online dating site Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted February 7, 2017 Author Share Posted February 7, 2017 I got to talking to this woman who plans on running a speed dating event for the big Valentines Day holiday. She said that unfortunately, the women have outnumbered the men in buying tickets to the event and they need more men. I hear this happening a lot with any speed dating events or "singles soirees" of sorts. For an event that's totally singles focused, do you think men are turned off by the idea of speed dating or something so focused on pairing off singles with each other to ask rapid fire questions? Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 I got to talking to this woman who plans on running a speed dating event for the big Valentines Day holiday. She said that unfortunately, the women have outnumbered the men in buying tickets to the event and they need more men. I hear this happening a lot with any speed dating events or "singles soirees" of sorts. For an event that's totally singles focused, do you think men are turned off by the idea of speed dating or something so focused on pairing off singles with each other to ask rapid fire questions? Women are more often to go to places (clubs or events)in pairs or groups... while men are more loners 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Women are more often to go to places (clubs or events)in pairs or groups... while men are more loners I've been to a few and the women there tend to come in groups for moral support. Honestly, I think most guys are unaware of them. I only found out after a woman told me about them - I seriously thought it was something made up for movies. It's a good way to meet several women at once but my luck hasn't been great. I got picked by many of the women but was interested in very few. I dated two for a few dates. The first one was just annoying and the second one was a bit too angry for me. It's great that you can meet them in person but you don't know if they have kids or what not like you do online. Ps: both these chicks had kids. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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