EO422 Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 (edited) MODERATION NOTE: This thread contains posts from several threads merged into one, some overlap or redundant information may be noticed. ~T Okay so my story is kind of different. Anyways, me and my Gf were long distance. Did not get to see each other at all really. It has been months since I last seen her. Anyways, just about a month ago she got emotional and called me to tell me she doesn't feel all the love like she used to feel for me. Well, this had me worried of course. SHE planned on coming to school by me, not for me, but because she wanted too. It was a bonus that WE were gunna be close. So we could FINALLY have a real relationship and have what we wanted and waited so long for! so rewind again to a month ago..she wanted to do a break and keep in contact etc. so that when she gets here we could do a date. So I agreed..the first week went well I gave her space etc..then one week in we called and SHE WAS ACTING LIKE WE WERE TOGETHER AGAIN. She was talking about us and when she gets here all the things we can do etc..it confused the hell out of me. So I got all crazy again. And messaged her a bit more that week because I was just SO FREAKING CONFUSED. Anyways, later again a week after the call I told her "I am done I cannot take it anymore, I am lost and confused and if you don't want to be with me anymore can we just end it so I can move on" ..she never replied to that...then I got so upset and angry I said the relationship was OVER...she never responded too that...then the next day I took the break up back and she still never answered...then I told her I was having a hard time and just confused and was finally going to give her space...so I DID...I just texted her yesterday giving her motivation for school and mentioned nothing about the relationship..she didn't answer..I called her and then realized that she blocked my cell number.... ALTHOUGH..I am confused..I don't know where we stand. I do not know what to do. I am so lost. Idk if she is moving on or not. She said she REALLY wanted to go on the date, but I don't even know now. I'm not going to message her again u til she is moved into school(in 4 days) and after she has settled in for about 2 weeks..so I was planning on messaging her mid/late September asking about our date we had waited SOOOO long for. It's been years. Anyways, she has not blocked me on any social media. So I don't get it, if she was mad then she would have unfollowed me everywhere and not wanted anything to do with me. But she hasn't blocked me or anything on social media. I don't know if she is telling me she is still styling "faithful and commuted" like we agreed and then to Do the date by showing me she is not totally done by not unfollowing me and blocking me on social media. Or idk if she is done and just doesn't care if she unfollows me or not on social media...OR idk if she is just telling me she wants space until she is ready to unblock me and talk to me. I am lost! Idk what is going on between us. Idk where I stand. Idk if I need to move on. I just don't know. It's so unfair she won't even answer me anywhere. She never said she broke up with me or was done. She just hasn't said ANYTHing. I may just give her the benefit of the doubt and hold out to contact for 3 weeks ten reach out again. Or maybe she will reach out too me. Edited September 14, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
coryreply Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 Hey OP. Sorry you're going through all of this right now. I know how it feels to be left on hold and not really know where things stand. The timing of all of this is interesting to me. You guys have been in a LDR for so long, and then right before you will actually be close enough to do this for real, she wants to take a break. Do you think she got sacred? If fear is what caused it, can you think back to anything you may have said or implied that would have made her freak out a little bit? It sounds like you really upset her when you sent her those messages telling her you were done. Moving to this new school is a huge emotional change in her life. I think you may have a really good opportunity to be her knight and shining armor, once she gets there. I think you need to come up with a plan of action that's proactive. If you wait several weeks, I think you may miss the window. What do you think? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted August 24, 2015 Author Share Posted August 24, 2015 I think she did get scared...she called me..and we haven't seen each other in months...I think she got scared of the fact we were going to see each other a lot now and this was going to now be REAL...along with the reality of moving away from home etc! Probably a lot on her plate at once. Anyways, when she called me she said she felt weird about seeing me again..it has been FOREVER since we seen each other...over a year..and I really do think she is nervous about seeing me...I think she is getting cold feet possibly...to be honest..I met her in person..but she lived far away..and we decided to date and hold out for as long as we did..we haven't even been on one official date yet. It's scary...and I am honestly nervous to see her too. I really think she is getting cold feet with this and is just weirded out and in total shock...like "OMG I'm going to finally see him now for real" Link to post Share on other sites
coryreply Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Has there been any contact in the last few weeks? Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 So, basically..my ex..wanted a break..strung me along..and I couldn't take it after 2 weeks so I freaked out and said I was done..then I took it back..but I realized they blocked my cell number probably out of anger...anyways they DID NOT block me on any social media...so after thinking for a week I sent a message on social media..wishing the best to them etc...they ignored it SO..I got mad...BLOCKED her on social media..Twitter specifically..because I thought "well hell why the f*** do they get to see what's going on in my life if they broke up with me?" ...so I did end up blocking them...THEN 2 days later...my ex blocked... It was weird..I didn't expect it..I am not mad at it either. BUT If she blocked me..that means SHE was curious what I was up too...HAD to search for me since I blocked her..went to my profile and was probably PISSED when she realized when I blocked her..so in retaliation she blocked me... The weird thing is that..why? Why does she care enough to go see what I am up too? AND WHY would she block me?! I mean she is clearly trying to make me mad or get a reaction out of me...if she didn't care she wouldn't have blocked me...so I'm still thinking she does care and she does still love me...anyways I have been in NC now since that last Twitter message which was about 10 days ago...and last convo we had was 16 days ago Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 If she blocked me..that means SHE was curious what I was up too...HAD to search for me since I blocked her..went to my profile and was probably PISSED when she realized when I blocked her..so in retaliation she blocked me... Well that's a nice story, shame it's all totally made up by you. The reality could be very different. She blocked you because she doesn't like you and doesn't want to have any contact with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Zagan Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 The weird thing is that..why? Why does she care enough to go see what I am up too? AND WHY would she block me?! The question is why do you care?? She ended things. So you need to move on. Living your life through social media is more damaging than anything. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram etc etc.. It never fails to amaze me how many people post on here fretting about being blocked or should they do the blocking or what does it mean when somebody constantly 'likes' my posts on social media sites.. These sites make breaking up and moving on a lot harder than if they didn't exist because you still have several windows into the other persons life. Why would you want her to care about what goes on in your life and why would you want glimpses into hers? The relationship is over. For all you know she could have been using 'twitter' as a way to throw you a bone here and then for her own ego. If she loved you and wanted you it would never have been ended and she would still be with you. Stop reading into things and overthinking, all you should be focusing on now is yourself, and healing. Not whether she's eyeballing yer social media pages. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 (edited) Honestly, it sounds like she was breaking up with you and wanted to still keep you around for a bit and when you said you are done, she was fine with it and wants nothing to do with you. Maybe it's possible she met someone local and has actually been dating him, where as you two have not been able to see each other hardly at all. Hard to develop a relationship when that is the case. From the sounds of things, she doesn't care at all or it's just easier for her to block you everywhere so she doesn't have to deal with it. Edited September 2, 2015 by dumbass2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 So! It's been a few weeks since my gf called me to go on a break..then the break up happened!! Anyways, I'm starting to feel a lot better. I am not so focused on it! I actually am getting strong feeling that if she wanted me back I would say no! Like just thinking about it! Why the heck would I want to take her back after what she did to me and how she treated me during the break/break up! She was so mean and harsh! Gave me NOTHING..I had to figure out myself that we weren't together anymore! Now I don't care! I met this girl in class a few days ago, we hit it off and I could tell she was attracted to me! She is super cute and funny!! She is a REAL possible candidate! Has the upper hand! Although, this break up has been recent..SO I am taking it slow..fitness first..and just moving things along slowly! I do NOT want her to be a rebound at all...I actually truly think this girl has great qualities...I went on rebound dates and met girls..but nothing clicked and I didn't care..it was just to help me...BUT now this girl idk..something just clicked and my therapist told me "well hey just go along with it"....so that's what I am doing ! The other thing I cannot wait for is the day my ex comes back saying she wants me!!! I probably shouldn't say this but it will feel SO FREAKING GOOD to get back at her and have the last laugh and move on! .. Sorry just feeling really good rn! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
QueenDeath Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 (edited) My ex dumped ( yes, it felt like I got dumped, picked up and thrown out the house ) me a few weeks ago, during the time of healing and I am still healing...I wanted him back, now? Hell no! First, he called for a break, I have no time to be with someone if they are questioning if they want to be with me or not. Also, putting the whole blame on me for our break up and I wonder if he looks at both sides of the relationship, not just his side. No. I am not going back to my ex. He didn't want me then, he wanted me out of his life and okay, he's getting just that. So before, I would take him back in a heartbeat but not anymore. I miss him and all, but no. Also, be on the lookout for breadcrumbs some dumpers do that, some don't. Just keep a keen eye and stay strong. Keep doing you. <3 Sending you some good mojo!! <3 Edited September 5, 2015 by QueenDeath 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Christos Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 It depends on the relationship before the break up, and if the ex dated and had sex with other after the break up. If there was anything physical involved, i will only get an ex back when hell freezes. Link to post Share on other sites
Stercrazy Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 I think it depends on many factors relating to the breakup. There's no boiler plate answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 Long story short..I broke up with my ex. She wanted to do a break..and she wants to keep contact for awhile until she was "ready"...but all she did was strong me along. Treated me like crap. DID NOT keep contact with me after she said SHE wanted to. I would text her maybe good morning one day or maybe "how is your day going?" The next day and she would answer NOTHING..just ignore me and post stuff on social media. Basically had no respect for me. I couldn't take it anymore so I broke things off. I cannot trust her anymore, she treats me like crap and DIDNT even answer me when I told her I was breaking up. She didn't care basically... So who is really the dumper here and who should feel guilty? Me or her? Link to post Share on other sites
Gus Grimly Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 In your case, I don't think it matters who broke up with who. You're better off if she was mistreating you. I'd really consider going No Contact if I were you. If that sounds like something you'd be open to doing, check -->THIS<-- out. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Samuel_22 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Long story short..I broke up with my ex. She wanted to do a break..and she wants to keep contact for awhile until she was "ready"...but all she did was strong me along. Treated me like crap. DID NOT keep contact with me after she said SHE wanted to. I would text her maybe good morning one day or maybe "how is your day going?" The next day and she would answer NOTHING..just ignore me and post stuff on social media. Basically had no respect for me. I couldn't take it anymore so I broke things off. I cannot trust her anymore, she treats me like crap and DIDNT even answer me when I told her I was breaking up. She didn't care basically... So who is really the dumper here and who should feel guilty? Me or her? Why are you even trying to figure out who the dumper and the dumpee is...you have to be glad that you were the one who was brave enough to put forward the idea, and by doing so you have already bought yourself some respect...but the thing matters now, is that it's over for good, a kind of mutual agreement I would call it... Gus mentioned what you have to do, stick to the plan, and don't think of anything at all...believe me break ups are not that bad, and at the end of the day they just make you stronger 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gus Grimly Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 ...you have to be glad that you were the one who was brave enough to put forward the idea, and by doing so you have already bought yourself some respect... Exactly, couldn't have said it better myself! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Caslina Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 I did this to my ex. I did it because there was something that bothered me. Did you try talking to her? Was there a big problem or baggage? Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 I did this to my ex. I did it because there was something that bothered me. Did you try talking to her? Was there a big problem or baggage? She was moving away to college...BUT SHE WAS MOVING CLOSER TO ME..would have been 30 min away as opposed to the usual 2hrs..I think the relationship was getting to real because we were LDR and she is a freshman in college who probably has GIGS Link to post Share on other sites
Tobin Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 You got dumped. Hope that helps! Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 Hey all. I just cannot let go. All I can do is sit here with hope and a "feeling" that my ex will come back to me. It's not going away. No matter how hard I try. No matter how hard I push myself to the gym..to become better..keep busy etc. it is just still THERE...I want it GONE..because I can't truly move on until I do so. But it just WONT go away. We never had an official break up..and I know closure isn't a real thing really..but I mean I had like NOTHNG..she was storming me along on a "break"..wouldn't answer calls or text..so I texted her I was breaking up...she never even replied to that! And then that's the end of it! That's where I stand now! I think the fact she didn't respond with at least "okay we should move separate ways" or something along those lines is what's killing me..she didn't even REPLY. I'm ****ING STUCK..**** this **** Yes I did break up via text..she wouldn't answer TEXTS or CALLS...that's the into way I had to communicate that to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Zagan Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Hey all. I just cannot let go. All I can do is sit here with hope and a "feeling" that my ex will come back to me. It's not going away. No matter how hard I try. No matter how hard I push myself to the gym..to become better..keep busy etc. it is just still THERE...I want it GONE..because I can't truly move on until I do so. But it just WONT go away. We never had an official break up..and I know closure isn't a real thing really..but I mean I had like NOTHNG..she was storming me along on a "break"..wouldn't answer calls or text..so I texted her I was breaking up...she never even replied to that! And then that's the end of it! That's where I stand now! I think the fact she didn't respond with at least "okay we should move separate ways" or something along those lines is what's killing me..she didn't even REPLY. I'm ****ING STUCK..**** this **** Yes I did break up via text..she wouldn't answer TEXTS or CALLS...that's the into way I had to communicate that to her. Mate, she wouldn't even reply to your texts, what does that tell you? She isn't emotionally invested in you any longer and has probably moved on with somebody else. She's treated you like crap, and as much as it hurts, you have to let go of her and take care of yourself. She's not worth you feeling that way. I know it's a lot easier to give advice than to receive it but it will get easier.. And you will find someone much better. Someone who will respect you. She doesn't. And we shouldn't want people who don't respect us in our lives. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Then I would advise you to just wallow for a while. You have to "feel it to heal it". You're upset b/c it's over and you didn't get any answers. Unfortunately this is very common in breakups. The person you loved and trusted abandoned you. It hurts. But you are still a loving and wonderful person. They did not take that away from you. So, feel sh*tty. Go ahead and give yourself permission to do that. When you're tired of that, do something nice for yourself. Stop trying to fight the feelings. It's OK to feel rejected. But ultimately, this person who you thought was the one for you, isn't. Wasn't. Eventually you'll see it. Until then, just do your best. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Christos Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 I am sorry friend, but she is seeing someone else. It is obvious. There is no other explanation. If she was angry about something, or even out of love, she wouldn't behave like THIS. This is cruel, and the only thing that explains it, is her seeing another, and feeling guilty for it and in no way to explain or handle it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 Mate, she wouldn't even reply to your texts, what does that tell you? She isn't emotionally invested in you any longer and has probably moved on with somebody else. She's treated you like crap, and as much as it hurts, you have to let go of her and take care of yourself. She's not worth you feeling that way. I know it's a lot easier to give advice than to receive it but it will get easier.. And you will find someone much better. Someone who will respect you. She doesn't. And we shouldn't want people who don't respect us in our lives. I truly believe everything you say trust me. I really do...I know my ex...I know how she is around stress and dealing with things like this..she closes off and closes out on people... I know she still cares because of stuff that was on her social media after the break up...I know I shouldn't have been stalking... She deals with this stuff REALLY BAD...and I know she couldn't face me with this or anything...this is probably why I still have this hope... I don't know if what I am thinking is true..she maybe did truly move on...and that is why I believe everything you are saying..I want to actually have my head believe it...like I know it's right..but it's not making sense to my mind yet...and I want it to. I am so angry. I am beyond angry. I just want a text from her saying it ****ing over. Is that to much to ask for? After putting so much ****ing effort into a relationship. I did so much. Sacrificed so much. And I get ****ing **** on. ****...she is doing this probably as a safety blanket..figuring if she doesn't give me anything I will still have hope ...so that I will stick around. And it's ****ing working...what the ****....I am so angry Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 I am sorry friend, but she is seeing someone else. It is obvious. There is no other explanation. If she was angry about something, or even out of love, she wouldn't behave like THIS. This is cruel, and the only thing that explains it, is her seeing another, and feeling guilty for it and in no way to explain or handle it. Exactly what I was thinking. I hate her..I hate her so much. I don't get it. Doesn't she understand that you have to be faithful in relationships l? Like wtf. I hate whoever she is talking to just wanna go knock them out so bad. I am so angry and frustrated. I kept this **** in for so long and now I am just so angry. What the **** is she doing thinking and being this way Link to post Share on other sites
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