Author EO422 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 The thing is I wanna wait..because I know what we had was the real thing and she is just like basically being young and stupid and doesn't really know better and is learning...I know I am making up excuses for her and all..but idk..I could tell she didn't know if she was doing the right thing or not she was crying because she didn't know what was going on or what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 how long were you officially a couple? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveIsMyReligion Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 If you're entire future and happiness revolved around her then that is your main problem. I think you may have been more invested in this than she. Regardless, you need to back-up and focus on you and do what makes you happy. Don't let this one person who toys with your emotions control your entire life. What's that saying, grab life by the horns? The universe doesn't give a **** about your feelings or your happiness so it's time to take things into your own hands and do some epic **** with your life. When things like this happen and you freak out over a girl and send her a bunch of crazy texts (it's okay a lot of people do it) I think it's a wake up call that you need to re-prioritize some of the **** in your life. Easier said than done? Definitely... but it's the truth. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Man. You can't put your life on hold for anyone. Maybe one day she may come back but you can't live like that You have to decide that you don't want to hurt anyone and then actively seek to move on. You're still going to hurt but you will be able to see the light. If she can't be bothered to answer your phone calls, you know where you stand. She can't be your soulmate if she won't pick up your calls. Decide that you want more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 If you're entire future and happiness revolved around her then that is your main problem. I think you may have been more invested in this than she. Regardless, you need to back-up and focus on you and do what makes you happy. Don't let this one person who toys with your emotions control your entire life. What's that saying, grab life by the horns? The universe doesn't give a **** about your feelings or your happiness so it's time to take things into your own hands and do some epic **** with your life. When things like this happen and you freak out over a girl and send her a bunch of crazy texts (it's okay a lot of people do it) I think it's a wake up call that you need to re-prioritize some of the **** in your life. Easier said than done? Definitely... but it's the truth. Thank you for your post! I didn't send a ton of clingy texts tho after the break up...I sent 2 texts that explains things ever since I broke up with her..one saying the break up was out of anger and I took it back..then the other was a week later just wishing her well in school and good luck and to not stress out about classes, also told her that I would like some type of answer from her and that was all I ever sent to her..that's it...not really being clingy..but now I'm going into NC...I also just decided to delete all of my social media apps off of my phone...not my account..but I am just down with social media! It's bad for the break up and just for me right now I wanna focus on myself so I figured it could help me in two ways..NEVER using social media again. I'm done with it! Can't even click on it' 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 Sorry about all the cursing...I am just so mad right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 (edited) Venting again: I know she cannot face me with this...I was an AMAZING boyfriend to her for 2 years...AMAZING...like beyond belief...I was caring, wast rational..wasnt mean(I am not a mean person anyways, just saying I'm not that abusive yelling type boyfriend).I learned a lot about myself. I learned about relationships..what to do, what not to do..how to be honest..I was litterly perfect..not being cocky..but I really was the perfect BF..and she knew that..she admitted how good I was and how worried she was making a mistake. like I don't get it. I protected her, cared for her, loved her, did everything right. I don't get it..she even said it was her...she wants to experience all this crap probably....and I know I cannot stop her..she wants to do what she wants to do, anything I say can't change that..pisses me off...I don't even have a right to do that anyways, it's her life...just so mad and annoyed that this happened Edited September 9, 2015 by EO422 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 Is this a possible GIGS Sydrom when they say this? Everything else that my ex said lines up with gigs syndrome...but this one has me stumped...just wanna know if this is what soemone says during GIGs Link to post Share on other sites
Christos Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Yes. Definitely. This is something someone with GIGS says. This is something someone who cheats says too... Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 Yes. Definitely. This is something someone with GIGS says. This is something someone who cheats says too... Well I know she didn't cheat..1000% sure on that Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 It's also something someone who feels like they have too many problems or doubts or they can't measure up say's. They can also say it to politely break up without addressing anything .. just relying on a timeless line to get the job done. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 Basically, my gf was unsure about breaking up...actually she didn't want to and we went on the break. Although during the break I could tell she was being distant more and more. So I chased a bit more..not the best idea...I chased for about a week...then after the week I broke up, couldn't handle it anymore...then I just send one message a week later saying I want to work it out..no response..then I said one more with the same thing and saying that if she didn't want to get back then good luck...currently been in NC now for 1 week. I could tell she was still unsure..she kept me on social media..and we had "wars" about who was doing better. I got tired of it and I cut that off about 2 weeks ago. She got mad that I blocked her so she blocked me in retaliation...thats how I know she still has something for me...but isn't answering me because she cannot face me. So now I am just doing NC..to help me move on because I am just so tired of this..but it also has its benefit of making her wonder about me. OH, I also deleted social media from my phone. Sick and tired of it especially after the "war" we had. I am just sick of it. So I'm down with social media forever..again serves 3 benefits, it makes me not be able to look her up, I am also able to concentrate my whole life elsewhere instead of focusing on my phone, AND she will see that I am not her posting and she won't be able to know what's going on in my life (I unblocked her and she has deff tried looking me up again, so I know she will be looking)..anyways yep! That's all basically..as you. Can see I still have "hope" ..it's hard to let go of..but I am also attempting to move on!! Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Just keep focussing on yourself, and getting your needs met in a healthy way. Take proper care of yourself and you'll do ok. What she thinks and feels doesn't really matter. *No direct contact in either direction. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 INYIM simply means that while you are a perfectly acceptable candidate on paper, having gotten to know the real you has revealed that she's not crazy about you. As far as she's concerned, you're not a keeper, for no particular reason. That said, she wouldn't discourage a friend of hers from dating you. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveIsMyReligion Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Venting again: I know she cannot face me with this...I was an AMAZING boyfriend to her for 2 years...AMAZING...like beyond belief...I was caring, wast rational..wasnt mean(I am not a mean person anyways, just saying I'm not that abusive yelling type boyfriend).I learned a lot about myself. I learned about relationships..what to do, what not to do..how to be honest..I was litterly perfect..not being cocky..but I really was the perfect BF..and she knew that..she admitted how good I was and how worried she was making a mistake. like I don't get it. I protected her, cared for her, loved her, did everything right. I don't get it..she even said it was her...she wants to experience all this crap probably....and I know I cannot stop her..she wants to do what she wants to do, anything I say can't change that..pisses me off...I don't even have a right to do that anyways, it's her life...just so mad and annoyed that this happened We are used to being able to control almost every aspect of our lives and when we are faced with an issue that we simply cannot control it renders us useless and makes you feel like crap. I still have a huge issue with this myself as I like to control everything in my life. However I am slowly beginning to realize that some things are 100% out of your control which you eventually have to accept after spending countless hours stressing. I'm definitely no monk but once you get good at this mental workout and control what you get angry about or stress about I think you will become a much happier person. Happiness comes from within. P.S. I swear I'm not a hippy, far from it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 I just looked at her social media. It was a huge mistake. She seems totally happy and Okay without me. How could she do this? How could I mean so much to her and now she is just ****ing going on so easily. I am about to cry. I hate her so muchz Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 I am done basically I guess...I am surrendering and basically giving up hope. I am done with social media. Haven't posted in 2 days. I'm done trying to show I am doing fine without her. I'm just totally done. Cutting out from social media for good. I re downloaded it to look. I am just deleting it for good again now and never going on again. I am litterly surrendering Link to post Share on other sites
Bo34 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Don't do it ever again!! It will set you back big time. Delete all social media or block her from all social media. I made the same mistake after 2 weeks and I was crushed. I saw that she had posted many new pics, was genuinely very happy and having a good time. But the part that killed me the most was when I saw her liking pictures of guys. All this was shared to me by 2 of our mutual friends. I seriously felt like I was going to vommitt that day. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 Don't do it ever again!! It will set you back big time. Delete all social media or block her from all social media. I made the same mistake after 2 weeks and I was crushed. I saw that she had posted many new pics, was genuinely very happy and having a good time. But the part that killed me the most was when I saw her liking pictures of guys. All this was shared to me by 2 of our mutual friends. I seriously felt like I was going to vommitt that day. I hate this. I feel horrible. We have been oficcially split up for 17 days now...how so easily? I don't understand. It seems I don't even cross her mind. I hate her. How? How could she do this? She did everything I thought she wouldn't, she isn't who I thought she wa. The things she did to me during the break/break up...giving up so easily? Letting go so easily? I have been her shoulder, her team mate...I was by her side every step of the way. Picked her up when she was down. Told her I was always there for her and to not stress because anything she was going through she wasn't alone, that I was by her side going through whatever she was dealing with and we would beat it as a team... I put so much into it. So much heart. I didn't even get to say goodbye..I was strung along and couldn't take the "break" so I broke up with her..she never responded. I didn't get ANYTHNG back. Not even a goodbye. So harsh after I was so perfect? **** me. **** my life. I feel used and worthless. I have gotten NOTHING from her since. Nothing. And she carries on like nothing even happened. I wanna shout out to the world how ****ed up she is and what she did. I deserve so much better. **** her Link to post Share on other sites
Unlucky_I_Guess Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Some people are just like that. My ex was the same way, which is why I avoid her FB and other stuff like the plague. I don't want to know ANYTHING about her. You should feel the same way...someone who can just walk away like that is not someone you want in your life. Trust me on this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Nolan 93 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Sigh..... I was naive like you several months ago. I was in love with my now ex gf and she was my everything. Until I got that rude awakening of her going back to her ex. Worst feeling I saw who she really was and learned a lot from this experience. I now look at all relationships with out the rose tinted glasses, and understand nothing is absolute. It changed me it hurt but I became a lot stronger and and wiser. Just have to move on and you will slowly forget about her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Liono84 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 (edited) Reality is slowly setting in. It's not easy but you'll be better off in the long run. Up till now you were sort of in denial. You definitely should go NC from the very beginning and that also includes not just avoiding calling/texting her but also blocking her from social media. I went NC from day 1 when that bi$$ch broke up with me. The only mistake I did make was listen to my mutual friends when they told me what she was up to on FB and Instagram. I saw **** that day that almost made me throw up, literally. I couldn't even sleep that night. But looking back, it wasn't too bad. Put it this way; If I didn't see all those pics of her enjoying herself going out and posting comments to her friends about their upcoming Las Vegas trip or seeing her "like" several pics on this one particular guy, I may have been worse in the long run. The reason I say that is up until that point I was under the impression that she was grieving and going through a very difficult time too. But that woke me up like it's woken you up. So go NC and move on. It's the only way to go. You can't do anything to change the outcome. Edited September 11, 2015 by Liono84 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I think you're giving it too much significance. I remember when I was the dumper, its not that i wasn't sad, and it's not that i didn't feel anything to the girl i loved. I just wanted to move on, and one of the common way to do it is to hang out, meet people and be more socially involved. This is how she chooses to heal. Another thing is that the social media is a big lie. People always put in there only the "show off". I know many unhappy people that if you look at them in FB you'd think that they are the happiest people in the world. You judge her too harsh. It doesn't mean she does not respect you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
drseuss Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 You always loose with social media. For the first 3 weeks post break up , i deleted and redownloaded the app ect , I kept looking on fb and on her exs fb and there was no change as she doesn't go on much , but even that upset me , you think they are off busy doing things and not thinking about you , that's when I unfollowed her and deleted the app from my phone I find my self now after 6 weeks only 3 of which have been full blown nc really wanting to look and I think it's when your in true nc and they are fading away your brain wants to stop it happening so it's a total battle of will power 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Bellerophon Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Man I am going through the same things.. Keep looking on her Instagram and what she is 'liking'..its killing me..I know it feels like they are moving on much easier. But try to use that as fuel for yourself and do the same.. I am trying that now, and its much harder than it sounds, but really just keep in mind that time is your best friend. Just tell yourself once and for all: **** her, why the hell am i still putting so much time and energy in her when you know its only giving you more pain... Also what is helping me is anytime i think of her or looking on social media for her, i sort of say out loud: FOCUS!!...then i don't do it haha 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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