I think it is time I just force myself to move on

[frigginlost]

Dude wtf are you talking about? That's not why I made this post. I ****ing clearly stated it in the damn title. You were the one who started pointing fingers. Get your ****ing hands back in your pocket. I didn't ask to be pointed ou who is good and who is bad. You had to go and assume I did the worst **** possible. I hope no one ever takes advice from you.

 

If this is any indication of how you reacted in anyway to your ex... sorry, but you should see why she is ghosting you.

 

You need to take a long hard look at what *you* did.

 

You dumped her. She does not have to ever say a word to you again. She owes you nothing. Regardless of what led up to you dumping her, you did so. You pulled the plug and in doing so, gave up any right of her remaining civil, etc.

 

She knows where you stand regarding wanting her back, and her actions are telling you to talk a walk. Do so, and work on yourself. Accept everything for what it is right now.

 

If she ever wants to talk to you again, she will (I would not count on it).

[Hipster_22]

Should I delete her number off of my phone?

 

Keep it written down somewhere just incase?

 

Delete it. If she wants to make contact with you she will, chasing after her all the time will push her further away. DO NOT contact her. Go full NC.

[d0nnivain]

If this is any indication of how you reacted in anyway to your ex... sorry, but you should see why she is ghosting you.

 

You need to take a long hard look at what *you* did.

 

You dumped her. She does not have to ever say a word to you again. She owes you nothing. Regardless of what led up to you dumping her, you did so. You pulled the plug and in doing so, gave up any right of her remaining civil, etc.

 

She knows where you stand regarding wanting her back, and her actions are telling you to talk a walk. Do so, and work on yourself. Accept everything for what it is right now.

 

If she ever wants to talk to you again, she will (I would not count on it).

 

Actually I thought the GF asked for the break then kept contacting the OP. He'd get all happy & want more. then she would pull the rug out from underneath him & say no before disappearing again only to resurface with another breadcrumb a few days later. After being jerked around like this a few times, he snapped & broke it off for good in a fit of anger but he always wanted her back. Problem was when he initiated she ran.

 

I stand my by pronouncement that she's a flake who doesn't' know her own mind.

[Thegreatfrazzle]

'Where the mind goes, the body follows'. Best quote that helped me.

 

Without a doubt your situation and state of mind is the most similar to mine out of all the posts I've seen on this site. I encourage you to look at my first thread and how horrible I felt when I wrote it, because quite frankly all your posts could have been written by me many months ago. (I wasn't fortunate to find this website until months after my break up).

 

Also everyone here encourages you to post as much as you want, because there is always going to be someone in a similar position which will read the replies and will be helped by it, many of whom wont even have an account. It's how we all started here!

 

Deleting social media, contact details is so important. Also throw away/burn (I'd say hide away, but I know your ex was a fu*king bit*h) any stuff she gave you, and get rid of anything that reminds you of her. BLOCK her on facebook, that way she can't contact you, and there is that extra barrier preventing you from looking at her facebook. Just make her invisible to you.

 

As someone in a similar situation, you are actually quite lucky in one aspect- the fact that she treated you like cr*p. It makes the process of knocking off the rose colored glasses easier, and one day in the not so distant future, you're gonna think of her, and realise she isn't anywhere near as perfect as you used to believe, and kinda ask yourself what you saw in her.

 

You'll be indifferent, you won't owe her any time in your mind to think about her, nor will you waste your life hating her. She'll be a ghost, someone who came into your life, decided to be a c*nt, and left. Simple as. But that time is not now. At this current time, your brain is playing tricks on you because it hasn't quite fully realised how much better off you will be without her, and it is still craving the chemicals released when you were with her. It is like a drug addiction, it takes time to heal and any small amount of contact, reminiscence of happy memories, or refusal to move on will simply prevent you getting over it.

 

You can do it buddy, please reply to my posts if you need any advice or just need to talk, it really does get easier but you're in the eye of the storm at the moment and the sun doesn't look like it's coming out, but it will.

[drseuss]

Well I will give a quick overview. Nothing long. We went on a "break" not a break up. During the break I saw her growing distant, so I did the normal begging and pleading etc. I got mad. Then one day I flipped out and called it all off..this is when she BLOCKED my number. Ever since that day of us breaking up I have not begged. I sent 2-3 messages..wishing her luck, asking if she was sure she wanted to make this choice, and I asked if we could at east leave on a good note. I called about 3 times as well..but then I remembered I was blocked so she didn't receive any of them. So yeah...I know reconciliation is not likely..but I am still in hope..just because it is so fresh. So please bare with me! I hope I didn't ruin my chances. I have not begged at ALL since the break up or her blocking my number. The weird part was she didn't block me on social media. She was stalking me from what I was told. So I blocked her on that, but just a few days ago I unblocked her because I really don't care anymore. Once she found out I blocked her on social media she did the same to me. Has not unblocked me, but I really don't care lol, better for me...now I can't go look at it...well I used my friends account once. But on my phone I cannot! So more power to me for her blocking me!

 

 

You are clearing having a horrible time and you have become obsessed with the whole situation , firstly I think you are in severe denial and you are lying to yourself , you say you unblocked her because you don't really care , well I think you really do and it's all become a bit overwhelming ,your begging and pleading and over perusing will have damaged alot , she will think you are emotionaly unstable and weak and it just isn't what women are into !

 

But all of that Is besides the point ,look at the hard facts , you two didn't work as a couple , I don't doubt you had lots of good times and loved each other ect , but it hasn't worked out , she has made no effort to reach out to you and why do you think that is , it's because she doesn't want to be with you and she is moving on with her life and looking to the future and sadly you are not in it ,

 

Hope is totaly normal and it sucks , im over 7 weeks out and I hold hope but I know it's over , the only chance you have would be in many many months or even years !! In which time begging and making a fool of yourself just backs up why she doesn't want to be with you

 

You are riding the breakup roller coaster and let me tell you it's barely begun , but it will level out eventually !! I feel you are desperately hoping someone on here will say " don't worry she will be back and you will live a long happy life " but that's not true so nobody is saying that ,in all of your threads it's the same advice , listen to it and work at moving foward !!

[EO422]

It doesn't matter who wanted to stay in touch. You fix a relationship together. When you take one of these "breaks" everything gets worse, as was your experience.

 

You can't have it both ways. It's not fair. It causes the hard feelings you experienced. It was unfair to you.

 

Let her go. She doesn't know her own mind & wanted her cake & to eat it too.

 

Thank you, that is what everyone has told me. I wished that I listened to everyone about NC when she initiated the break. I should have done so. Like you said it is a life lesson now. I thought "maybe my situation was different" but it wasn't. I am having a tough time letting go..but at least I was taught something during this

[EO422]

You are clearing having a horrible time and you have become obsessed with the whole situation , firstly I think you are in severe denial and you are lying to yourself , you say you unblocked her because you don't really care , well I think you really do and it's all become a bit overwhelming ,your begging and pleading and over perusing will have damaged alot , she will think you are emotionaly unstable and weak and it just isn't what women are into !

 

But all of that Is besides the point ,look at the hard facts , you two didn't work as a couple , I don't doubt you had lots of good times and loved each other ect , but it hasn't worked out , she has made no effort to reach out to you and why do you think that is , it's because she doesn't want to be with you and she is moving on with her life and looking to the future and sadly you are not in it ,

 

Hope is totaly normal and it sucks , im over 7 weeks out and I hold hope but I know it's over , the only chance you have would be in many many months or even years !! In which time begging and making a fool of yourself just backs up why she doesn't want to be with you

 

You are riding the breakup roller coaster and let me tell you it's barely begun , but it will level out eventually !! I feel you are desperately hoping someone on here will say " don't worry she will be back and you will live a long happy life " but that's not true so nobody is saying that ,in all of your threads it's the same advice , listen to it and work at moving foward !!

 

 

 

Doing my best to let go of hope!!! It is not easy!! Thanks for the reply!!

[frigginlost]

Actually I thought the GF asked for the break then kept contacting the OP. He'd get all happy & want more. then she would pull the rug out from underneath him & say no before disappearing again only to resurface with another breadcrumb a few days later. After being jerked around like this a few times, he snapped & broke it off for good in a fit of anger but he always wanted her back. Problem was when he initiated she ran.

 

I stand my by pronouncement that she's a flake who doesn't' know her own mind.

 

Absolutely agree.

 

What I am trying to get across to the OP is that regardless of what led up to the break-up, it matters not. In the end he pulled the plug, and he has to accept that and all the crud that comes with it...

[d0nnivain]

Absolutely agree.

 

What I am trying to get across to the OP is that regardless of what led up to the break-up, it matters not. In the end he pulled the plug, and he has to accept that and all the crud that comes with it...

 

True. I just thought that you were being a little hard on him for dumping her. While he is the one who made it a break up, she didn't really give him a choice. I suspect it may have been the outcome she wanted but she didn't want to be the dumper. This way she can garner sympathy because he "technically" broke up with her, even though she manipulated him into taking that action by being unfair to him rather than forthright.

[EO422]

Actually I thought the GF asked for the break then kept contacting the OP. He'd get all happy & want more. then she would pull the rug out from underneath him & say no before disappearing again only to resurface with another breadcrumb a few days later. After being jerked around like this a few times, he snapped & broke it off for good in a fit of anger but he always wanted her back. Problem was when he initiated she ran.

 

I stand my by pronouncement that she's a flake who doesn't' know her own mind.

 

This is exactly what happened. Thank you for clearing that up for everyone. I never wanted it to end. I just couldn't stand my emotions being pulled all over. I did not respond to my ex with any cursing. I am not like that. I am doing it here because I am standing up for myself in front of a stranger who is trying to point out it is my fault. I do not have anger issues, I am totally opposite. I don't think you cons judge someone off of one post. People get upset and angry, it's part of life and it needs to be accepted as a fact to whoever thinks I have anger issues because I was standing up for myself. The topic was brought to a zone that I wasn't even curious about.

 

Thank you donnoivan

[drseuss]

Your on the right track and now it looks like you want to be posative and it sounds like you are accepting the situation so well done and this is the early stages of the strength that will continue to grow as the days go buy

 

I did alot or writing down how I felt on a daily basis just once or twice a day I wrote in a book about how I felt and how I know I need to move foward and that I'm better off not going back and it help so much , now I only write in it a couple times a week ,

 

As for for hoping she would be back in 1 or 2 weeks , no chance any time people get back that quickly it fails fast , I think the more time spent apart in nc the more chance a future reconsiliation will succeed, like many months or years after but never hope for that and if it did happen it's a nice surprise ; but hopefully by the you will say sorry I've moved on and met someone 10 times better than you !!

 

Stay strong and look to the future

[d0nnivain]

You are welcome.

 

Anger is an emotion just like happiness, or loneliness. What you do with it makes it problematic.

 

Here you saying I've had enough -- even if accompanied by curse words -- is fine.

 

You will get through this. It just sucks. Hang in there.

[d0nnivain]

Good for you.

 

One of the things that always helped me heal was to make a list of all the things I want to do now that I have more time on my hands . . .take a class, walk the dog more, read certain books, travel etc.

 

Also change your environment around a bit. . . move the furniture, get new sheets, make it so your space isn't about her.

[frigginlost]

This is exactly what happened. Thank you for clearing that up for everyone. I never wanted it to end. I just couldn't stand my emotions being pulled all over. I did not respond to my ex with any cursing. I am not like that. I am doing it here because I am standing up for myself in front of a stranger who is trying to point out it is my fault. I do not have anger issues, I am totally opposite. I don't think you cons judge someone off of one post. People get upset and angry, it's part of life and it needs to be accepted as a fact to whoever thinks I have anger issues because I was standing up for myself. The topic was brought to a zone that I wasn't even curious about.

 

Thank you donnoivan

 

Dude, you would not believe the amount of vitriol I spewed at one of my ex's after I did *exactly* what you did. She basically pushed me into dumping her. I did and when she ghosted me, it set me off big time. It told me I was not worth a damn. So I know exactly what you are going through.

 

It sucks for you now, but as time starts to build, you are going to start feeling pretty darn good that you called her out and your self-esteem is going to sky rocket. It does not feel like it now, but trust us...

 

It is then that you will hear from her....

[EO422]

Dude, you would not believe the amount of vitriol I spewed at one of my ex's after I did *exactly* what you did. She basically pushed me into dumping her. I did and when she ghosted me, it set me off big time. It told me I was not worth a damn. So I know exactly what you are going through.

 

It sucks for you now, but as time starts to build, you are going to start feeling pretty darn good that you called her out and your self-esteem is going to sky rocket. It does not feel like it now, but trust us...

 

It is then that you will hear from her....

 

Thanks dude, I appreciate it. I didn't really call her out violently. But I did cal her out. I felt used and hurt. Like I was being dragged along. I told her if she didn't wanna be with me then to just let me go so I can move on and be with someone who cares about my feelings instead of hurting me like she was doing then. And ever since I sent that, is when things went south..I then broke up with her because she didn't reply to that, told her how upset I was. Here we are now. I called her out I guess and it's over !

 

Clearly like donnoivan said, that's what she wanted ! So be it. I knew she couldn't break up with me, she cannot face this kind of stuff. I know how she is in stressful situations.

[EO422]

Thank you everyone! I really appreciate it..I will be getting rid of stuff that reminds me of her. Hopefully I get a little bit stronger every day!!! I will also move my room around a bit! So many memories of stuff there! I had gifts for her when she arrived..expensive ones too..around 80$ a pop...but I'll give those away to my friends to give to their gfs or something lol...idk I don't wanna throw away 160$ and I can't return the stuff!

[frigginlost]

Thanks dude, I appreciate it. I didn't really call her out violently. But I did cal her out. I felt used and hurt. Like I was being dragged along. I told her if she didn't wanna be with me then to just let me go so I can move on and be with someone who cares about my feelings instead of hurting me like she was doing then. And ever since I sent that, is when things went south..I then broke up with her because she didn't reply to that, told her how upset I was. Here we are now. I called her out I guess and it's over !

 

Clearly like donnoivan said, that's what she wanted ! So be it. I knew she couldn't break up with me, she cannot face this kind of stuff. I know how she is in stressful situations.

 

 

Yup, it's like reading exactly how I "handled" it. It took me months to get over it (don't worry, you eventually will). You did the right thing. It may not seem like it now, but trust me you did.

 

How I got over it, was what I alluded to earlier; I simply told myself the truth. I dumped her. She has every right to react the way she wants... but the bottom line is that I made the decision to pull the plug. Down deep I really did not want to... but I had to.

 

A very weird thing happened months later. She reached out. And I ignored her. She then let loose with all the emotions she bottled up and absolutely bashed me like there was no tomorrow. By then, I was at the stage where I just smiled about it all.

 

It sucks to ride the rollercoaster, but you have to. There is no other way to get your self-esteem back.

 

Again... you did the right thing.

[mitchapalooza]

I seriously just had a dream about my ex. It hurt so bad when I woke up. I want to cry now. This is the hardest thing ever. I am sorry for posting so much: I never went through anything like this before. I was so in love with her. Plus thee was music playing in the dream with her too..it was that Bruno Mars song "I think I wanna marry you" ..:WTF...why why why...this hurts so much...it's been 11 days NC..but almost a month since the break up

 

Oh man I had a dream this weekend too. In my dream, he's just laughing at me while I am sad/crying/angry. That actually helps me because it was my greatest fear coming to realization. (I had those dreams when I was still with him). Anyways, when those dreams happen. I try and plan out my day even though I don't feel like it. Even if its something dumb like shoe shopping, or hiking. If that doesn't work, I try to think about something coming up in the future that I am excited about. The farther out the better (I thought about a Halloween party this weekend). I hope that helps. Waking up like that sucks I know.

[bluefeather]

Here is one of the things that I do to help me.

 

I fantasize about a woman who is better. One who would not do what she did to me. I know this girl is out there somewhere. I am becoming a better person too, and when I am ready, I will find her.

[Hell Yeah]

feel your pain, i wake up every night thinking shes right next to me........then release shes not, get confused and upset

 

then i remember (and force myself!) its because your not good enough to be part of my life anymore, and that's why you and i aren't sharing a bed!!

 

It can't rain all the time dude, soon those dull grey clouds that circle us disappear

Edited September 14, 2015 by Hell Yeah
error

[EO422]

Here is one of the things that I do to help me.

 

I fantasize about a woman who is better. One who would not do what she did to me. I know this girl is out there somewhere. I am becoming a better person too, and when I am ready, I will find her.

 

Thanks man, I will try this..it's still fresh in me this relationship..so it's tough!

[EO422]

What should I do if certain places remind me of her/bring back memories? I can't really avoid them..should I just keep visiting them until I become numb to it basically?

[EO422]

So many of you know my story, my ex went on a break, said she wanted to keep contact at least once daily....i did, but then she started to not reply to me, would reply a few days later, only to never reply again after that. I was hurt and felt like i was being strung a long. I couldn't take the pain anymore, she just would get my hopes up and then never reply and it would come crashing down..at one point i had enough of it and just broke up with her because i could tell where it was heading.

 

I feel guilty because I broke up with her...like i clearly didnt want to and i wanted the relationship...but it seems like she is turning this all against me. Like she is ghosting me because she is mad i broke up with her....but she was the one who wanted to keep contact, she was the one who wanted too do the break, she was the one who stopped replying to my texts and calls and started ignoring me and started to distance herself and treat me badly, after she WANTED too say "I love you" still and keep in contact.

 

I feel like she is trying to make me the bad guy for breaking up with her...like I did wrong and I let her go. i cannot get this guilt out of my head, tht this is all my fault.

[PegNosePete]

Do you think you made a bad decision?

[EO422]

Do you think you made a bad decision?

 

I do think I made a bad decision. I felt like I had no choice tho, but I do feel it was a bad decision