Author EO422 Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 Hey all. I guess I am posting to vent and look for some advice I guess. It's been 7 weeks since the break up. I have had ups and downs. I do not feel devastated anymore. Crying less. But I am really upset and just depressed I guess. Idk how much longer this will go on for. I don't know how I feel. If she came back I don't know what I would do. I would feel somewhat indifferent and hurt. That's not the point tho. The fact is that right now I am upset and depressed this had happened. I wish she didn't do this. It's over though. Nothing I can do. It's just upsetting. Any time frame or "phases" of a break up? If there is anyone know what I am going through? I thought I was doing well..wasn't thinking of her for about a week. Then out of no where I got upset/angry and was mad at her..then the anger is now sadness/depression for the past few days Link to post Share on other sites
sbk24 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Hi my friend, I feel your pain. I feel the same way. Flashbacks are the worse with me as it cripples me inside but at the end of the day we can't do anything but atleast try be busy and better ourselves. There is no time frame on healing, it's not like a physical break where we know roughly when we will heal. You are healing though you have admitted it. Just keep at it and it will go. I wish I could take on the advice I give sometimes. Feeling sad some days is natural. It allows you to process your emotions. We wouldn't be human after all. One day you will find someone else and won't feel the same pain. Amazing what the power of the mind does hey? Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted October 12, 2015 Author Share Posted October 12, 2015 This is tough, I really want her to come back. The things she said at the end have me holding on(she doesn't know this) She said she was afraid she was making a mistake. During our break she still wanted to say "I love you" and to not date anyone else and to keep in contact etc.. Basically a relationship without actually having one(having her cake and eating it too)...so basically all this went down the drain..I ended up breaking up with her because during the break she just slowly faded out of my life to the point where she wouldn't even make contact! So I had to say "we are breaking up" so she didn't have to do it. It pisses me off that she did this. Whatever tho. I know she will regret what she did, idk when. But i hope she kicks herself in the arse for it. It's dumb. I was an amazing bf, no cheating, no fighting, like nothing. We were perfect. She got an itch to be single so screw it! It's almost been 2 months since the break up. I am still holding onto hope(hard to let go, assuming I will over time)...but boy do I want her back so bad after all that we put into the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 I am still feeling sad after the break up. Still mourning. Places still remind me of her and make me want to cry...it is almost 2 months now..can't believe it has been this long but it's upsetting and all. She is out having a good time no thinking of me, and here I am morning sad and everything. Link to post Share on other sites
drseuss Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Your just going through the normal break up grieving I'm over 2 and half months and am still sad , I think it's normal to feel sad for 6 months , it's just lessens as each month goes by I was doing great at 2 months then had a huge relapse a week later now I'm feeling better again ,it's totaly normal but I feels never ending at the time You'll be ok ,loss sucks !! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted October 16, 2015 Author Share Posted October 16, 2015 Hey all. It's the end of the road for this relationship. I want her to come back BUT....even if she came back, I wouldn't be able to do it. I would be too hurt with the trust issues and the betrayal. All these special moments we were supposed to have and all the things we said to each other. I couldn't do it. I sit here and I think about it more and more. I just wouldn't be able to do it. I want to, but I am realizing now that I wouldn't take her back. Again, j want her to come back, but I wouldn't even be able to do it anyways. I am too hurt, feel too betrayed, especially knowing the fact she has been with other guys too. It's just not something I could go back into. We were supposed to have special moments and I put 2 years into everything and so much effort, just to have someone else take her. Too hurt. Way to hurt. So, this morning I woke up and just finally realized. I couldn't and won't take her back IF she did come back. It made me super upset knowing this is really the end of what was a great relationship that she threw away. I really did cry this morning coming to the realization that I won't take her back, it upset me coming to terms with that, because I was avoiding it hoping she would come back soon, but no. Too much has happened now and too much time had passed, but hey. Someone better is out there for me. Time to get up, get myself back together and enjoy the ride. Hopefully someone amazing will pop up a long the way !! Link to post Share on other sites
Truth34 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 That is definitely an Interesting place to get to in this process. Knowing that, now on your end, it wouldnt work even if SHE wanted it to, its definitely a sad realization. The memories are there, but that person is not. Another person gone from your life, in all honesty. While sad, it is necessary. It puts you back in control of your wants and needs for a person, instead of back pedaling trying to show them what they want to see. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 Hey all, quick question. Should I be limiting my exs ability to see MY social media? Is this SOWMTHING we should do? I haven't blocked her or anything. Just thinking of making my Twitter private so she can't see anything, only my followers can. Idk if she is checking it, but I'm just wondering..I'm not going to block her personally. It just doesn't allow people who follow me to see my stuff. Just want insight. Idk if she deserves to see my stuff or not..or if I should just leave it Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted October 26, 2015 Author Share Posted October 26, 2015 (edited) So, ex broke NC 30 days into it. She didn't know we were doing it. But I was never going to contact her again. Then what do you know, 2 days ago, 30 days into NC she texts me. She said she needed advice about stuff. I didn't reply until a few hours later, and once I replied she told me what she needed advice ABOHT and then continued to tell me that her questions were answered already and she said sorry to bother me, and then she left. All I said was "Glad you got them answered!"....I didn't beg or anything..and honestly, I am not up for this. I am not up for being friends and giving her advice. I told her I could be there for her if emergencies pop up or if she is super stressed because of something bad happening in her life, but not for "advice". I really do not wanna be her friend and I don't want this to effect my healing. Should I just tell her to please not contact me because I do not want to be friends right now ? Then repeat how I will be there for tough times, but not for advice? I am really upset. It is weird that she would even come to me I the first place. Like why would you want to text an ex and ask him for advice? Makes no sense. I wouldn't do that. I think she was trying to just be friendly, but screw that, I don't want to be friends. Edited October 26, 2015 by EO422 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 I am not up for being friends and giving her advice. So why on earth did you reply? I told her I could be there for her if emergencies pop up or if she is super stressed because of something bad happening in her life, but not for "advice". Why on earth would you be there for an ex's emergencies? She lost all emergency assistance privileges when the relationship ended. She needs to stand on her own 2 feet and you don' need your ex having your number on speed-dial for when her new BF dumps her (which she classifies as "emergency"). Should I just tell her to please not contact me No, just do not contact her again. Actions speak louder than words. She didn't want advice (notice how she suddenly sorted it out herself). She just wanted to check that she could still walk all over you and use you when she needs. And she got confirmation that you are totally up for being her emotional tampon. Next time DO NOT REPLY! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted October 26, 2015 Author Share Posted October 26, 2015 So why on earth did you reply? Why on earth would you be there for an ex's emergencies? She lost all emergency assistance privileges when the relationship ended. She needs to stand on her own 2 feet and you don' need your ex having your number on speed-dial for when her new BF dumps her (which she classifies as "emergency"). No, just do not contact her again. Actions speak louder than words. She didn't want advice (notice how she suddenly sorted it out herself). She just wanted to check that she could still walk all over you and use you when she needs. And she got confirmation that you are totally up for being her emotional tampon. Next time DO NOT REPLY! Got it, I was totally clueless with what to do when she texted me. I didn't wanna reply, but I gues because I told her I would help her with stuff if she needed it(trying to be friendly, didn't expect her to actually come to me). So I was like "alright i guess I will reply"..and j didn't reply until 8 hours later because I was debating on replying or not. Stupid me. Oh well. I learned. Next time I am not gunna answer her Link to post Share on other sites
Author EO422 Posted October 28, 2015 Author Share Posted October 28, 2015 So I ended up messaging her and telling her we cannot keep in contact. I just had to do it. I HAD to say it. I had to put my foot down for once. I told her she didn't want this relationship and she pushed me away, I thought about being friendly and I am not up for it. We broke up and it should be that way, including no contact. Good luck with your future. I basically told her that. She was pissed and then subtweeted me(I had to look sorry!) anyways, back into NC now. I won't be getting set back anymore either which is good. She should never message me again Link to post Share on other sites
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