Bobby8419 Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 To whom it may concern, I have been dating my her for four months. Things have been perfect a respectful loving relationship. Up until last week when her son came back from his father's house and started asking asking her questions about me, and came home with a totally different attitude. She asked me stay way until her divorce is over. His father has known about me for 2 months now and out of nowhere he asked her for custody of the boy because of me. She is a wonderful mother a perfect home for him he couldn't ask for a better mother. 20 years she's been mentally abused we is a narcissist to the point she can't make decisions on her own. He says something she does it. Until she stands up for herself and tell him to leave her alone this will never change. I will support her in any way I can and I have done that. And at the same time I'm a little hurt angry, generally pissed off. I haven't did anything wrong. The question I am asking you should I stay or should I run because I'm really confused right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Marie2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 If she has been with a narcissist she will need time to get herself whole again . His asking for custody out of the blue is a classic stunt they pull , it's all about control and keeping her from moving on. Your best bet is to back off a little , let her know you care about her and move on . The chance she will go back may be a strong possibility . And he will use every trick in the book to keep her from being a whole and healthy person. Eventually you will be pulled into the drama. I feel for her , I truly do. I wish she and you the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobby8419 Posted September 15, 2015 Author Share Posted September 15, 2015 Thank you for your response. Well her going back to him is next to impossible since he's getting married as soon as the divorce is over her .Husband of 23 plus whatever they been together left her for a 26 year old Ethiopian Girl. She's been doing super good up until last week and I was like the bottom dropped out. Maybe that is her defense mechanism I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Marie2015 Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 Just be wary . Narcissists love to create triangles . You, him , her etc.... A new girlfriend doesn't change the dynamics much . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 Don't hold your expectations too high for that woman. Some people are so weak they remain in "their" narcissists' grip their whole life. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMyCat Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 Jmo, but it is seldom a good idea to date someone who is not legally free. Yours is but one example. You should step away until she is divorced. Link to post Share on other sites
angelcake Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 It's hard to break the hold of a narcissist, especially after such a long period of time. He will do anything he can think of to make her miserable. She needs to cut any communication with him, unless it's about their child. Every response to him needs to be stated factually and without emotion. You just need to let her know you are there for her, but back away as she has asked. It will take her awhile to get free of him and to de-clutter her mind. Just know if you stick around, you are probably in for a lot of drama. Link to post Share on other sites
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