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5.5 Months on, I wish I hadn't left him...need pep talk


tinydancer324

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I left my husband because he forced me to choose between my dream job and his desire to live in LA. (The dream job made more financial sense for us, too.) But I quit the dream job to see if we could make it work, and I left him very suddenly.

 

I was exhilarated for a while, have dated a bit, but now I'm having horrible dreams...can't stop with the regret. We didn't have kids and I'm 38 and want them.

 

And I'm just so scared I won't find anyone else.

 

Anyone who's BTDT, please help...

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WhatYouWantToHear

Wait, that doesn't make sense.

 

1. You left him because he made you choose between dream job and LA.

 

2. You quit the dream job...

--that means you choose the dream job over LA

 

3. ...to see if you could make it work

-- that means you reversed course and chose LA over the dream job.

 

4. Then you left him suddenly.

-- which means you chose leaving him over staying with him

 

I don't see the connection between the new job, LA and your relationship. In the end you chose to leave him regardless of this choice "he made you make".

 

That's not criticizing your choice. That's just laying out your story in a way that makes sense to me. It sounds as if you really wanted to leave him and this job/LA thing was a small symptom and not the main reason.

 

Then you talk about kids and other things. What I am reading between the lines is that you are unhappy with him, but afraid to leave because you've sunk so much into thsi relationship so far. That is always bad thinking. You made the right call, just not for the reasons you've stated.

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And I'm just so scared I won't find anyone else.

 

While that's a legitimate reason for concern, it has nothing to do with going back to your husband. Choosing that option simply because you lack other alternatives is needy choice, not a positive or proactive one...

 

Mr. Lucky

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