Shut the F'ck up and make me Mo Happy..

[Merin]

Well Ladies and Gentleman.. Boys and Girls.. Pimp's and Pimpette's..

 

Merin is single (Again) Sh*t!

 

Really no point in going into every little thing that was said/done again.. uh.. Tanbark has agreed to listen to my long lame story and advise me of what an idiot My EXBF is via PM so this will save the rest of you fine looking peeps from having to read so much it causes eye strain..

 

My condensed story is this.. My now EXBF couldn't not accept anything but 100% satisfaction on my part.. If for any reason I was unhappy the rule (unwritten and unsaid) was for me to suck it up, smile, and say nothing. IF he wasn't 100% happy the rule was (he didn't write it, but sure he wanted to and never told to me it was more than implied) was to be a complete ****er, blame everyone that isn't him and for me to find a way to make him Mo Happy.

 

Now.. I am the person who IF I've done something f'cked up I will cop to that, do what I can to make things right and take what I have coming to me.. BUT in this case I was a model GF like freaking mad crazy and honestly.. that was what I did wrong.. Boys and Girls there is such a thing as doing TO MUCH and accepting TO LITTLE.. it doesn't make the person you're with say "Damn you're an amazing person!" but it can make them say "Damn, lets see what other f'cked up things I can get by with... psssshhhh she/he loves me like that!"

 

What have I learned... I've learned that some people are just selfish.. it isn't my fault and I can't make them share.. LOL I have a hard time making my Wee Peeps share sometimes but I'm bigger than they are so yeah... they share when I insist! BUT he is 29 years old, suppose to be an adult and not my child... so I've been reduced instead to telling him his toys suck (uh so to speak ha!) and I'm not f'cking playing with him anymore.

 

Last things he said to me.. "I'm a miserable SOB Merin and I'm an Idiot" Last things I said to him "I agree"

 

All in all the words of one of my bestest buddies came to mind.. he used to say "Psssshh thats alright, I've been through worse with better people"

[CurlyIam]

Hi, Merin

 

I'm so happy for you and very proud to hear that you were able to finally make this difficult decision. It's my philosophy that people can take only a certain amount of hard time from their SO. You're especially patient and did take a LOT from him, but I'm very satisfied to see that your patience isn't endless !

 

 

Good for you, girl!

 

Curly

[bstill]

I don't know what happened and I'm sorry you feel badly. You say that "IF I've done something f'cked up I will cop to that, do what I can to make things right and take what I have coming to me." This is good.

 

But don't you think he might havebeen doing the same thing when he said "I'm a miserable SOB Merin and I'm an Idiot." LIke I said, I don't know what happened, but someone is completely selfish doesn't say that when confronted with it, they usually say the other party is the selfish one. Were you upfront about his behavior prior to this?

[whichwayisup]

Well he obviously knows he isn't boyfriend material right now...Or will ever be.

 

You tried your best - Sucked it up, put up with ALOT of crap Dear Merin...I commend you SO much for trying again. You're doing the right thing now by walking away...He's draining you and really isn't worth it - Unfortunately for him he has NO idea what a wonderful person he let walk out of his life...I hope one day he realizes and then looks in the mirror and will actually DO something for himself - GET SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP - And then become a better person.

 

The sad thing is, from what you've said about him I see there is so much potiental but he just doesn't see that. People like that really have their heads up their arses...Maybe one day he'll figure it out.

 

Well, keep busy, hang with yer little people and a big HUG from me to you!

[Merin]

Originally posted by CurlyIam

Hi, Merin

 

I'm so happy for you and very proud to hear that you were able to finally make this difficult decision. It's my philosophy that people can take only a certain amount of hard time from their SO. You're especially patient and did take a LOT from him, but I'm very satisfied to see that your patience isn't endless !

 

 

Good for you, girl!

 

Curly

Thanks Honey.. you're right that we all have our limits...

 

Originally posted by bstill

I don't know what happened and I'm sorry you feel badly. You say that "IF I've done something f'cked up I will cop to that, do what I can to make things right and take what I have coming to me." This is good.

 

But don't you think he might havebeen doing the same thing when he said "I'm a miserable SOB Merin and I'm an Idiot." LIke I said, I don't know what happened, but someone is completely selfish doesn't say that when confronted with it, they usually say the other party is the selfish one. Were you upfront about his behavior prior to this?

Yes I had been upfront about his behaviour prior to this..

He is selfish.. trust me when he said he is a miserable SOB and an Idiot, he didn't say that FOR ME he said that FOR HIM.. That is his *disclaimer* if you will and it was meant to inspire guilt in me, not make me feel better.

 

 

Originally posted by whichwayisup

Well he obviously knows he isn't boyfriend material right now...Or will ever be.

 

You tried your best - Sucked it up, put up with ALOT of crap Dear Merin...I commend you SO much for trying again. You're doing the right thing now by walking away...He's draining you and really isn't worth it - Unfortunately for him he has NO idea what a wonderful person he let walk out of his life...I hope one day he realizes and then looks in the mirror and will actually DO something for himself - GET SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP - And then become a better person.

 

The sad thing is, from what you've said about him I see there is so much potiental but he just doesn't see that. People like that really have their heads up their arses...Maybe one day he'll figure it out.

 

Well, keep busy, hang with yer little people and a big HUG from me to you!

 

Thanks Girl I hope he gets through his issues as well... I don't look for it, but I hope for him.

He does have his head in his a** (again) LOL and he flip flops on what HE can live with from week to week, day to day and sometimes minute to minute...

 

Just to much of a emotional rollercoaster for me anymore regardless of what HE decides next Thursday or whenever you know...

[EnigmaXOXO]

Merin, you do our gender credit with your class and grace. I think you handled the situation eloquently. You gave him the benefit of the doubt and showed a great deal of generosity by affording him second chance to show his true colors. You proved that it is possible for someone to possess the capacity to trust and forgive without sacrificing their own dignity and self respect in the process.

 

It's always disappointing when things don't work out the way we hope. But when you can honestly look back and say that there was nothing that you could have done or not done without sacrificing more of yourself than you were willing to lose - than at least you can walk away proud of the kind of person you are. No regrets. No self-imposed guilt trips.

 

The problem is, because of how exceptional you are…I don't think you've heard the last from this fellow yet. When he finally grows up and comes out of his selfish fog, he's going to realize there aren't many women out there who can compete with the memory of Merin. He'll want you back…and that soooooooo sucks for you.

 

I'm hoping by then you'll have found someone who is better suited for you so you won't be tempted to give this guy any more chances than he deserves. Shoot, now that you're single again, I bet they'll be lining up!!

[Merin]

Originally posted by EnigmaXOXO

Merin, you do our gender credit with your class and grace. I think you handled the situation eloquently. You gave him the benefit of the doubt and showed a great deal of generosity by affording him second chance to show his true colors. You proved that it is possible for someone to possess the capacity to trust and forgive without sacrificing their own dignity and self respect in the process.

 

It's always disappointing when things don't work out the way we hope. But when you can honestly look back and say that there was nothing that you could have done or not done without sacrificing more of yourself than you were willing to lose - than at least you can walk away proud of the kind of person you are. No regrets. No self-imposed guilt trips.

 

The problem is, because of how exceptional you are…I don't think you've heard the last from this fellow yet. When he finally grows up and comes out of his selfish fog, he's going to realize there aren't many women out there who can compete with the memory of Merin. He'll want you back…and that soooooooo sucks for you.

 

I'm hoping by then you'll have found someone who is better suited for you so you won't be tempted to give this guy any more chances than he deserves. Shoot, now that you're single again, I bet they'll be lining up!!

 

Thank you Enigma

 

While I must admitt it was a hard decision to have made because I really do care about him.. I also walk away without as you said regret over what I could've said but didn't, should've done but didn't.

 

It is the general consensus after it all fell out the way it has (again.. jeez Ha!) that yes he will see his way clear from the fog LOL and pick up the phone.. and you're right that it would suck for me.. but this time it would also suck for him, because I have nothing more to offer.. while it would be tempting to continue the habit, it has just become to expensive so to speak and I cannot afford it.

 

Interestingly enough I actually met a Guy on Friday night... Doh! LOL While I'm not at all down for another relationship at this time and don't know when or If I will be again.. he is cool (seems cool? LOL don't they all?) and while I'm down for hanging out with him, I just don't have the urge to put anything into it.

[tanbark813]

Be strong girl!

 

Don't waste your time on someone who won't waste their time on you.

[alphamale]

what chu doin' sat nite baby?

[Merin]

Originally posted by tanbark813

Be strong girl!

 

Don't waste your time on someone who won't waste their time on you.

LOL Sorry about the eye strain!

 

 

Originally posted by alphamale

what chu doin' sat nite baby?

What'chu have in mind?!

 

[EnigmaXOXO]

While I must admitt it was a hard decision to have made because I really do care about him..

 

Of course it is! You're a giver…not a taker. It's always difficult for the more caring, more generous, more selfless of the two to give up and walk away. It's in your nature to put other people's needs right up there with your own, so it goes without question that it would feel almost unnatural for you to act on behalf of 'yourself' and your own wants and needs for a change. I think that's why you often question whether or not you might have too much 'pride.'

 

I don't think so.

 

I think you have miraculously found the balance between being open and generous while at the same time being wise and self protective . At least that's what I've been able to gather from your posts so far.

 

he is cool (seems cool? LOL don't they all?) and while I'm down for hanging out with him, I just don't have the urge to put anything into it.

 

Yep. They all seem to have potential in the beginning. The crappy part is, that you have no choice but to invest your time and trust again in order to find out. And I think its okay that you've lost the urge (right now) to put in a whole lot of effort into anything right now. Maybe it's time that Merin finally sits back and waits for someone willing to put the effort into her for a change…

[Merin]

Originally posted by EnigmaXOXO

Of course it is! You're a giver…not a taker. It's always difficult for the more caring, more generous, more selfless of the two to give up and walk away. It's in your nature to put other people's needs right up there with your own, so it goes without question that it would feel almost unnatural for you to act on behalf of 'yourself' and your own wants and needs for a change. I think that's why you often question whether or not you might have too much 'pride.'

 

I don't think so.

 

I think you have miraculously found the balance between being open and generous while at the same time being wise and self protective . At least that's what I've been able to gather from your posts so far.

 

Oddly enough it did and still does feel *un-natural* for me to put my well being first.. and you could be right that it's why I often question myself if I've done the right thing(s) or if I've allowed pride to make me suck it up and not cry about things..

 

I'm still learning.. LOL You would think I would have some of this down by now sheesh! BUT yes I do think I'm finally understanding that it's okay to be open and generous to others BUT not at the expense of my own sense of self...

 

Again.. very insightful Enigma and appreciated.

[Jadey]

Well done Merin. Youre inspiring lol. Stay strong

[Pocky]

Thank Gawd - maybe now AM will stop hitting the replay button on his, "treat women like **** and they will stay forever" recording.

[Merin]

Originally posted by Jadey

Well done Merin. Youre inspiring lol. Stay strong

 

Thanks Jadey

 

Inspiring..

 

I'm just the Poster Child for "Have you seen this Girl?"

I need to be on a milk carton..

 

Getting lost in life is typical

Not asking for directions is never any good.

[Merin]

Originally posted by Pocky

Thank Gawd - maybe now AM will stop hitting the replay button on his, "treat women like **** and they will stay forever" recording.

 

[BrotherAaron]

Merin - what can we tell you that you haven't already said to other people 100 times before? You know as well as anybody what you need to do. If you're half as good at following your advice as you are at giving it, you'll be back on your feet before you can bat an eye.

 

When you get bored of alpha sat night, give me a call for some real fun

[Merin]

Originally posted by BrotherAaron

Merin - what can we tell you that you haven't already said to other people 100 times before? You know as well as anybody what you need to do. If you're half as good at following your advice as you are at giving it, you'll be back on your feet before you can bat an eye.

 

When you get bored of alpha sat night, give me a call for some real fun

 

There is nothing you can tell me that hasn't already been said 100x before.. WELL except that he's an idiot, and I'm right LMAO somehow I never tire of hearing that!

 

Shhh.. you had me at get lost.. LOL I Love that!

 

I'll call you on Saturday

[shamen]

Wow, Merin. Sorry to hear that it's over, but it sounds like it's totally the right thing. You deserve to be with a sweetheart.

 

I thought that the two of you were already over... I can't keep up!

[Merin]

Originally posted by shamen

Wow, Merin. Sorry to hear that it's over, but it sounds like it's totally the right thing. You deserve to be with a sweetheart.

 

I thought that the two of you were already over... I can't keep up!

 

LOL Thanks Shamen

 

He had pulled the same thing about 3 weeks ago then wanted another chance.

This is most definately the right thing for me and really probably the right thing for him as well in Life Lessons.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by Pocky

Thank Gawd - maybe now AM will stop hitting the replay button on his, "treat women like **** and they will stay forever" recording.

In actuality POCKY I don't advocate treating women like **** all the time. I think that women need to be treated good sometimes and like **** sometimes. THis is the key to keeping a woman around 4ever POCKY. Everything in moderation, not too nice and not too bad.

[EnigmaXOXO]

I'm not sure half the time whether Alpha is actually serious or whether he just has a cynical sense of humor.

 

I think everyone, both male and female, can learn something from Merin's story.

 

It's not about "treating" people like ****. Not even "some" of the time. It's more about learning how not to take any **** while at the same time treating your partner the same way you would want to be treated by them in return.

 

This guy isn't interested in Merin because she is a b*tch. Quite the contrary. Merin has shown patience and fairness throughout this entire ordeal without ever getting mean, nasty or spiteful. But what Merin has that many people lack is a healthy dose of confidence and self worth - enough that she was able keep her head about her and tactfully put an end to a relationship with someone who clearly wasn't willing to meet her half way.

 

This guy followed the 'Alpha plan' and treated her like ****. You see how far that got him! It's my guess that he'll come sniffing around again not because she mistreats him, but because she presents a challenge without even meaning to. Dogs like this want to "conquer" but they don't want to be leashed. And like any dog he'll need to be trained not to crap where he sleeps. For some women, that just requires way too much time and work and it's easier to just move on. Particularly for quality woman like Merin who have enough going for them that they don't need to have a guy around in order to feel good about themselves.

 

Or as my partner says: "Sometimes, you just can't polish a turd."

[alphamale]

Originally posted by EnigmaXOXO

I'm not sure half the time whether Alpha is actually serious or whether he just has a cynical sense of humor.

it is both E-XOXO

 

Merin has shown patience and fairness throughout this entire ordeal without ever getting mean, nasty or spiteful. But what Merin has that many people lack is a healthy dose of confidence and self worth

We are only hearing MERIN's side of the story E-XOXO, keep that in mind. And all we see on LS is user's screeen persona. We know nothing about what they are in real life.

[Debster]

Merin,

Now that this relationship is over, it just gets you one step closer to finding Mr Right.

Good luck and I hope you find him soon.

[Merin]

Originally posted by EnigmaXOXO

 

 

This guy followed the 'Alpha plan' and treated her like ****. You see how far that got him! It's my guess that he'll come sniffing around again not because she mistreats him, but because she presents a challenge without even meaning to.

Thanks Enigma, you're good for me when I have doubt in myself sister! LOL

He actually has started the text messages this morning...

Started with good morning, how are you..

To, I have your lotion at my house..

To are you okay...

Said he was good, as good as it gets he said...

AND just sent me a picture text of what he's having for breakfast and asked if I've been eating...

huh...

 

Originally posted by alphamale

We are only hearing MERIN's side of the story E-XOXO, keep that in mind. And all we see on LS is user's screeen persona. We know nothing about what they are in real life.

Yes you've only heard my side of the story.. he (my EXBF) would tell you the same believe it or not.. and pretty much what you *see* here in me, is what'cha get.

 

Originally posted by Debster

Merin,

Now that this relationship is over, it just gets you one step closer to finding Mr Right.

Good luck and I hope you find him soon.

Thanks Honey.. while I'm not at all down for another relationship right now, hopefully in time i'll be ready