Feeling hopeless

[clueless22]

Hey everyone,

 

I'm 21 and don't have much experience with dating. I was always that shy kid at school who kept to himself. Because of this, I didn't date at all in high school. After this, I went to college for 3 years and only dated one girl (lasted a month). This year (in May), I decided to take a break from school for a while because I found out I had ADHD. I was burned out and the ADHD and stress finally got to me.

 

This summer I got a full time job! It pays really decently. I went on some dates with two other girls. One, I was set up with and the other I found on POF. Both didn't work out.

 

I'm kind of down right now, for a couple reasons:

 

1. I have very little dating experience (obviously), never even kissed a girl on the lips!
   
2. Never been in an actual relationship
   
3. I get basically zero responses on OkCupid and POF.
   

I really just do not know where to go from here. I know I'm only 21 but I feel like I've missed out on a lot already. If I continue like this, nothing is going to change. I have to take action but I'm really not sure how to get more dates. I feel like I really do have something to offer to women. I'm in decent shape (not overweight), I look ok, I'm fairly bright, and I'm really friendly and nice.

 

 

My parents suggested I join some kind of outdoor club in my area. I'm definitely going to try that but hopefully its not just a bunch of older people.

 

 

 

What else can I do to meet women my age in REAL life?

 

 

Thank you

[ZA Dater]

Hey everyone,

 

I'm 21 and don't have much experience with dating. I was always that shy kid at school who kept to himself. Because of this, I didn't date at all in high school. After this, I went to college for 3 years and only dated one girl (lasted a month). This year (in May), I decided to take a break from school for a while because I found out I had ADHD. I was burned out and the ADHD and stress finally got to me.

 

This summer I got a full time job! It pays really decently. I went on some dates with two other girls. One, I was set up with and the other I found on POF. Both didn't work out.

 

I'm kind of down right now, for a couple reasons:

 

1. I have very little dating experience (obviously), never even kissed a girl on the lips!
   
2. Never been in an actual relationship
   
3. I get basically zero responses on OkCupid and POF.
   

I really just do not know where to go from here. I know I'm only 21 but I feel like I've missed out on a lot already. If I continue like this, nothing is going to change. I have to take action but I'm really not sure how to get more dates. I feel like I really do have something to offer to women. I'm in decent shape (not overweight), I look ok, I'm fairly bright, and I'm really friendly and nice.

 

 

My parents suggested I join some kind of outdoor club in my area. I'm definitely going to try that but hopefully its not just a bunch of older people.

 

 

 

What else can I do to meet women my age in REAL life?

 

 

Thank you

 

Firstly, never loose hope, its always out there no matter the situation! In my opinion (am 31 and in same basic situation as you, though I have never dated at all) drop on line dating completely. Its a tiresome, demotivating experience at best.

 

The job you do, do you interact with a lot of the public? If you do them use that as a way of meeting people. Friends, do you have lots of them, again there are opportunities there.

 

Avoid getting yourself into a spiral of hopelessness, it wont help you and if anything will just make finding anyone even harder.

 

Are you pursuing anyone at the moment?

 

Critically don't think bad of yourself, every time you want to, think of something positive (I have been doing this a lot lately), you will find what you project out there is more positive and this should make you appeal to more people.

[clueless22]

Firstly, never loose hope, its always out there no matter the situation! In my opinion (am 31 and in same basic situation as you, though I have never dated at all) drop on line dating completely. Its a tiresome, demotivating experience at best.

 

The job you do, do you interact with a lot of the public? If you do them use that as a way of meeting people. Friends, do you have lots of them, again there are opportunities there.

 

Avoid getting yourself into a spiral of hopelessness, it wont help you and if anything will just make finding anyone even harder.

 

Are you pursuing anyone at the moment?

 

Critically don't think bad of yourself, every time you want to, think of something positive (I have been doing this a lot lately), you will find what you project out there is more positive and this should make you appeal to more people.

 

Unfortunately, I do not interact with the public at my job. I also don't have a huge group of friends. But, I do have a few really close friends that may be able to set me up with someone. I'm not sure, I'll have to ask them.

 

I am not pursuing anyone at the moment. I've deleted most of my online dating accounts and have thought about using facebook as a way of meeting people. So far, I haven't had much luck with that either.

 

I generally try to stay positive but it has been hard this year. Between my fading interest in school and my lack of social skills, its hard to stay positive. On the bright side, I haven't given up yet and I keep pushing myself to try things I normally wouldn't have done.