Ended something today

[Ami1uwant]

Unsure if this is the tight board but here goes.....

 

At the beginning of the year I started a new job in a new location.

 

Over the first few months I started to learn who my coworkers were. Some were what I would call my immediate coworkers who I see snd work with every day, then there are others I may see at weekly meetings or I get a call about do ething when something comes up.

 

At one of these meetings someone who rarely shows up for these happened to be there. After the meeting I added more about something she talked about and then we started talking and talking and talking.

 

We really connected ( it wasn't just me).

 

I wanted to find out more about her. Was this the random freak thing and met with her again and we still talked like before.

 

Outside of this meeting our paths with my large employer would never cross. I was open yo dating her.

 

As I tried to getting yo know her she mentioned about having a boyfriend. Prior to this she mentioned she was married and divorced recently. I wasn't sure how knew or serious this bf was.

 

If I had met her at a store and initial conversation went that way I would have asked her out. Beng st work I held off broaching that.

 

About me..I have always believed that men and women can be just friends.

 

In my professional career I have had about 8 or so jobs where I met people at work but never dated any coworkers. I had acquaintances at work...or coworkers you msy socialize with outside of work but when one leaves you stop communicating with them. I have had a few people I stayed in contact with with after leaving a job. I call these friends.

 

The type of connection I had with her at the start has only happened a few times in my life. The last time was back in college. She and I never had a romantic relationship but we have been good friends for 25 yrs. Similarly she said she had a boyfriend, I backed off some. As I backed off a bit and got to know her I found out some core differences that would have made a marriage very difficult. So I kjust looked at her as friends.

 

I met this person at work about 6 months ago.

 

With her the first few weeks we talked a bit..a bunch of 10-15 min segments over a few weeks. She brought up about getting together for lunch a few times but never followed through. He schedule was much more meeting regulated than mine so she had a tighter schedule and chaotic schedule when it came to lunch. She made a couple of times then needed to cancel.

 

Then all of sudden she pulled away and I said screw it.

 

Then last month we started to talk more again. During that time roughly early May-Mid August we talked some but not much..talking was 95% work related stuff. During this tine she mentioned about being engaged.

 

We talked more and then a few weeks ago she needed someone to talk to about work and something that happened. I came over and listen snd talked to her giving her some advice.

 

Before she seemed to back off from me when I tried to bring up about being true friends by asking for her cell number...this was just as friends after I knew about her boyfriend.

 

This week I brought up the question of what exactly was this....she told me she keeps work and non work separate. She doesn't make true friends from work. I was fine, ok...I respect that.

 

I never said it but she may have read it as much that we aren't going to be friends anymore.

 

This wouldn't have been such a big deal and it wouldn't have come to this if we didn't have that immediate connection. Thinking about it I think about what could have been- as friends--it hurts. Thus could have been a friendship I would have had for the rest of my life.

 

It make me feel like she is sticking her arm out snd keeping me at arms-length.

 

The day I first net her was on April 1st...a cruel April fools joke I don't wish on anyone.....

[Gaeta]

 

This wouldn't have been such a big deal and it wouldn't have come to this if we didn't have that immediate connection. Thinking about it I think about what could have been- as friends--it hurts. Thus could have been a friendship I would have had for the rest of my life.

 

It make me feel like she is sticking her arm out snd keeping me at arms-length.

 

The day I first net her was on April 1st...a cruel April fools joke I don't wish on anyone.....

 

I think you misinterpreted her kindness for a 'special connection'. It happens more than we think that we feel we connected with someone but at the end we realize the other person was not connecting.

 

She let you down with a nice excuse: Not making friends from work. Truth is she is engaged and it would be inappropriate to start a new friendship with a male. A lot of couples have problems with their GF or BF having friends of the opposite gender and NEW friends of opposite sex is forbidden.

 

When I meet someone to date I accept his friends, males or females, but I would really have a problem with him making new female friends, exchanging numbers, having private conversations, etc.

 

Also, many people try to get affairs with people in relationships by calling it first <friendship>. She probably thought it was your way to get something going with her. It starts by exchanging numbers, then you start talking, then you make a move. It's not worth the risk for her.

 

I'm sorry for your disappointment but I think why she is backing off is clear as water. Respect her wish.

[karinelove]

Hey, I am a woman and sometimes, I might connect with a male purely as friends, noting else. And in this this is the situation. Respect her wishes and do forget about her. Its easier said that done, but to get your mind off her, join a gym , so some fun stuff.

 

She is in a serious relationship and maybe she just want to talk with you as an employee from work.