Goodbye Letter

[lt32]

Wasscsvvvv

Edited September 16, 2015 by lt32
personal

[NoLeafClover]

Question..whats The point of your letter?

Are you trying to sound like you know what you are talking about and everything by telling what she knows or how she feels?

Are you trying to put her on the pedalstool and tell her she is Perfect?

Are you trying to tell her that you feel like you are worse than the two other exs she had?

Or that you were competing between being better than them in her eyes..

 

Dont send this. Although I see sincerity in your letter, it is indeed complicating your case sending this.

Trust me from experience, give her some space.

Let things be for a few weeks. Let her think things thru and let her miss you.

If you keep doing this, you are pushing her away..

 

Ps. Why did you remove your letter ?

[lt32]

I removed it because I was embarrassed and put it in the wrong thread. I sent it because I think I finally did understand what she was feeling, and I sent it and she said it made her cry. So I ****ed up again. Thanks for your concern though.

Edited September 17, 2015 by lt32

[lt32]

I have texted more in the last 2 months than I have ever actually spoken in my entire life lol.I thought reading our text messages was probably unhealthy, I think I needed to though, and I think I finally got something right when I did. I was a ****ing ****. I got you to the point that you were saying that you were toxic and a bad person and feeling low. I made you feel like you deserved to feel like **** about yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. I feel awful for saying that you never loved me and whining that you wouldn't say it. Poor me. You said it a hundred times in text alone. You said it when you saw me and I saw it in your eyes. You showed me every way you could and I still wouldn't completely accept it. I know you know this, I know it too. I just wanted to think I was better than that. You could have kept saying it and I wouldn't have listened because I wanted you back on my terms without considering how you were feeling. You had to be the bad guy because I loved you so much, surely I couldn't have been wrong, lol. I can be such an *******. I can empathize with how you must have been feeing. You put everything on the line and I hurt you so much, just as you feared I would. I think that my constant doubts, and then accusing you of lying about Tim that night destroyed more between us then my nonsense about drinking myself to death. I realize how utterly wrong and terrible I was. Before you came back into my life I was actually worse. I was trying to be better for you but I needed too much work. I'm not going to get drunk and do anything stupid. I would have already, long ago. I can't stress enough that I hope you don't blame yourself. I am so ashamed of myself. I deserve to be ashamed for the things I have said over the last two months. This isn't self pity. Reading those messages was very painful, but I wish I would have done it before I put you through so much. If I had the confidence in myself then that I do now, this never would have happened. Ironically, you gave me this confidence and it hurts to think of what it cost you. You still showed me compassion and had thoughts of giving me a second chance even while I was showing you that I didn't get it, and that I was incredibly selfish. You are who I think you are, I am the one who was toxic. You were good for me and I was bad for you. We were incredibly happy and in love and I wrecked it. I did, not you. I will never find that feeling again with anyone else, but I hope you do. I'm sorry I did this to you, the one person who could love me even in that state, who gave me so much. I am sorry that I blamed you for not giving me a second chance. I was asking way too much. I understand now that just hearing my voice or seeing me would only hurt you more. I didn't even have the decency to give you a breather, I was hounding you since the day after you broke up with me, and that you didn't react badly or turn cruel says something about you. It says I was right about you, you are who I thought you were. The girl I love above everything and everyone, the girl I in who I see such beautiful things. I really do love you as much as I said I did, probably more than I could ever put into words, and I'm sorry it took so much to get me to grow up and realize that I don't deserve a second chance. I don't even deserve your friendship. I put myself through this, not you, and it will be the most painful lesson I've ever learned. I could treat you right now that I have come to this point because I realize how deeply I trust you, how much I miss you in my life, and because you finally made me see myself the way that you used to see me. I know it's too late for that, I beat it to death and I am dealing with it. I am confident now, but at what cost? I am the one who should have been trying to earn your trust back instead of begging you and browbeating you. I don't think you will ever be able to trust me again, and that isn't a fault with you. You deserve better than Tim, better than Shawn and better than me. I thought I was better than them but I was worse. What we have put you through is something that nobody deserves. Bad things happen to you because you try to fix broken men. You have an enormous heart and you have put me on the road to becoming the decent person that you thought I was. It was buried really deep. You will always be my beautiful girl and the love of my life. You aren't diminished in my mind and in my heart, and because of you I am becoming someone who might deserve the kind of love you showed me, but it won't mean anything from another person. That is my problem and I can deal with it. You gave me everything and I haven taken so much from you. I am so lucky that I knew you Tara. So lucky. Don't ever think otherwise. You really saved me when I was at the lowest point of my life. I am beyond sorry. I said I was done apologizing, and I am done saying it now that I think I realize the full extent of what I am apologizing for, but I will never stop being sorry or forget what I've done to you. This is my last selfish act. I needed to write this and take responsibility for my behaviour so that I can be a decent guy again. Probably by now you have realized that you shouldn't feel guilty about anything or that you aren't a bad person. You are loved and that is because of who you are, please don't ever forget it.

[lt32]

I put it back up. The mistake has been made. hopefully someone else can learn from it

[Hipster_22]

You shouldn't have sent it because I don't think you fully understand what she wants. If she wanted you she would have came back to you, if you keep chasing after her she is going to run faster. Any reconciliation chances have most likely been eradicated because you sent it. You should have left her and gave her space, let the break up sink in and if she truly wants you in her life she will reach out for you. Go NC and move on in the mean time, don't sit and wait for her, there's very little chance of her coming back.

[lt32]

You shouldn't have sent it because I don't think you fully understand what she wants. If she wanted you she would have came back to you, if you keep chasing after her she is going to run faster. Any reconciliation chances have most likely been eradicated because you sent it. You should have left her and gave her space, let the break up sink in and if she truly wants you in her life she will reach out for you. Go NC and move on in the mean time, don't sit and wait for her, there's very little chance of her coming back.

 

 

 

She always has come back but I never pushed things. I thought I could fix it. I don't know what is wrong with me, I just know I didn't want her to feel bad. I'm used to pain lol. I can take it

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Hey man, one of my last thoughts here,

You should write this down in a journal instead, then burn it without fear.