SpiralOut Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I've been working in a toxic environment for about 4 years now. I've been making up excuses to not leave. Last week I put my foot down and gave my notice. I realized that I can't move forward unless I get away from that place. I am trying to rebuild my confidence. In order to do that I need to break away from people who treat me poorly. I can deal with the odd colleague or supervisor who isn't very nice, but this place goes way above and beyond what is normal. It's truly awful. For most people it might seem like a no-brainer to just leave. Really, I should have left 2-3 years ago. For some reason this was hard for me to do. I'm really proud of myself. I feel better about myself already. I deserve better. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur de cactus Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 It feels so good right? I did the same thing a year and half ago. I remember when I gave my notice, I went home that night and slept very tight, which I did not do for a long time due to a stressful job. you have now time to decide what to do from now, or maybe you already have a plan. Don't be worried about what others people think about your decision. it was important for the peace of you mind. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted September 22, 2015 Author Share Posted September 22, 2015 Thanks. It does feel good. I have four days left, and then I am finished with the company for good. I can't stand how they treat me. I'm surprised at the amount of support I'm getting from people. I honestly expected people to tell me that I'm being stupid. Instead, they are saying "good for you" and telling me that I'm ballsy and courageous. That goes to show how much this place has gotten under my skin - the way that I expect others to jump on me and criticize me. It happens far too often day after day. I wonder how long it will take for me to feel normal again. It's like I don't even feel like myself anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Good for you I have been in your shoes. I had worked for a few toxic managers you know the ones that were picked on in high school but now have some power and want to take it out on you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted September 26, 2015 Author Share Posted September 26, 2015 My final day was yesterday. I am finally free!! I worked with a woman a few years younger than me who was unpopular in highschool so she took it out on me, and a few others. It was awful. The best part of my week was watching her take over my job. She had trouble with it and I had a great time watching her panic. On my last day everyone wished my well except her. I found that amusing. I can't wait to wake up on Monday and NOT go there. It's going to feel great. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 We so easily give away our self-respect and lose perspective on our value when in difficult or perverse situations. Glad you had the courage to quit. It says something about you for the fact that you stayed, but it also says a lot that you were able to leave. A lot of people get stuck in dead-end jobs, or in hostile work environment and are too afraid to leave, to fail, to find something better. I left a full-time gig 2 1/2 years ago - about 2 months before I was supposed to get married. Originally my fiancee was supportive, though when I told her about the toxic environment she would never be supportive. Then when i quit she was kinda of supportive, but turned angry at me in the weeks leading up to the wedding becuase people started to talk about me behind my back. Suffice to say the wedding was cancelled but I got the last laugh - 2 weeks after the wedding was supposed to happen I got a nice 5 month contract. Then I got another contract job, then I got a full-time job at a Fortune 500 and I'm making 11k more a year now than the last FT job and I'm as popular as ever in my field. Bam. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Tom Meets World Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 I've been working in a toxic environment for about 4 years now. I've been making up excuses to not leave. Last week I put my foot down and gave my notice. I realized that I can't move forward unless I get away from that place. I am trying to rebuild my confidence. In order to do that I need to break away from people who treat me poorly. I can deal with the odd colleague or supervisor who isn't very nice, but this place goes way above and beyond what is normal. It's truly awful. For most people it might seem like a no-brainer to just leave. Really, I should have left 2-3 years ago. For some reason this was hard for me to do. I'm really proud of myself. I feel better about myself already. I deserve better. That's great to hear, your wellbeing is worth more than any job! Find your passion and follow it! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted October 17, 2015 Author Share Posted October 17, 2015 I am feeling very anxious about job searching. Did anyone else take a while to "recover" I guess you could call it, from a negative work environment? I am so used to being spoken to as if I am stupid that I can't imagine being treated with respect. For now I will look at temporary or part-time jobs. I did apply for a couple of volunteer jobs but I didn't hear back. I'll apply to some other volunteer jobs. I need my work to be appreciated. I need to get my confidence back up to a healthy level. Link to post Share on other sites
froz Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Good to hear you have, well done! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted December 5, 2015 Author Share Posted December 5, 2015 Well I am getting some crap from people about my choice. I really don't like it. They don't understand the situation so they need to mind their own business. On the bright side, I had an interview earlier today. It's not exactly the best position ever, but it's something. All I care about right now is working for a company filled with normal people. I need to be in a healthy, normal environment. I have volunteer training in the new year with a reputable organization. It would be a good experience and I would get a great reference from them afterwards. Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 All I care about right now is working for a company filled with normal people. I need to be in a healthy, normal environment. I hope it works out for you Spiral. There has always been at least one bully/narcissist wherever I have worked. It's really about believing in yourself. The bullies will sniff out those who lack the confidence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NewLeaf512 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Well done you. I've known people in similar situations and it has taken some time to decontaminate. You may have lost a bit of yourself in there somewhere. Try to think positive thoughts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted December 9, 2015 Author Share Posted December 9, 2015 Well done you. I've known people in similar situations and it has taken some time to decontaminate. You may have lost a bit of yourself in there somewhere. Try to think positive thoughts. Thanks. I feel like my last employer steam-rolled my confidence flat to the ground. I am seriously overqualified for this job I interviewed for (had the 2nd interview today) yet I still felt afraid to apply for it. Even though I know I'm a good worker, I was treated all the time like I suck, and I'm stupid, and everything I do is wrong. I was left feeling like nobody would want to hire me anywhere. I'm starting to feel a little bit more normal. It should be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
deckard11 Posted December 12, 2015 Share Posted December 12, 2015 I'm in this situation right now. I left a job I was unhappy at a few months ago and my new job is already making me feel the same way. I want out. I work in retail so you can imagine why. I have a little bit of money saved, enough to get by without a job for a couple months. But I would feel more comfortable if I had a new job lined up. I feel stuck because retail is all I've ever done and don't want to go back to it. The whole thing is making me stressed and physically ill. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 I'm in this situation right now. I left a job I was unhappy at a few months ago and my new job is already making me feel the same way. I want out. I work in retail so you can imagine why. I have a little bit of money saved, enough to get by without a job for a couple months. But I would feel more comfortable if I had a new job lined up. I feel stuck because retail is all I've ever done and don't want to go back to it. The whole thing is making me stressed and physically ill. Have you considered general labour jobs? That's what I did for a while to avoid retail. If you can physically do the work, they'll consider hiring most people. I'm nervous about getting a new job for precisely this reason: what if the new job is just as bad? So I'm looking at temporary positions right now. I don't want to feel trapped in a bad job. It's like leaving a bad relationship and feeling afraid to date again lol. I am even avoiding jobs that are in my field because they remind me too much of my old job. Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 I'm in this situation right now. I left a job I was unhappy at a few months ago and my new job is already making me feel the same way. I want out. I work in retail so you can imagine why. I have a little bit of money saved, enough to get by without a job for a couple months. But I would feel more comfortable if I had a new job lined up. I feel stuck because retail is all I've ever done and don't want to go back to it. The whole thing is making me stressed and physically ill. Please take what I say with a grain of salt (actually maybe a ton of salt) and realize I write this with a smile on my face (so it's not intended to be straight out mean....) So you left one job and now another one is making you unhappy. Have you had a job that makes you happy yet? A lot of people wake up in their 30s, 40s, 50s, or even later and realize that it wasn't the "job" that made them unhappy. They were unhappy to being with. Look - no job is "perfect" by any stretch of the imagination. I mean, we live in an economic system where you need to do things for others (a job) in order to acquire the materials you need to do things for yourself. Realize then that a "job" is just that - a means to an end. A nerdy software engineer who loves to code all day wouldn't have a "job" if the outgoing sales girl didn't sell new business or win new accounts. The nurse that likes taking care of people wouldn't have as many patients if we didn't go out and ski, skateboard, rock climb, hike, swim, etc. So a "job" is about finding a way to handle the tasks that are necessary but not your cup of tea. A "career" on the other hand (in my terminology) is more than just a "job" - it's about being who you are, being willing to explore things inside of yourself as well as outside, and learning as you go. All that said, you've identified that you don't want to be in retail...so as 12 step programs say...the first way to solve a problem is to admit there's a problem. Look, it's not an easy road. You've got some money saved up so can you find something in retail that you can tolerate for 3 months, 6 months, and then spend your free time exploring other options. You'd be amazed at how many free or low cost groups are out there for professions, how many people would freely discuss choices or share their stories with you, but you have to do the work to identify what YOU want. To be continued.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 I am now registered with an agency. They are having me apply for security clearance so I can do some government contract work. I likely won't be working until January (need to wait for them to process my application) but I am feeling more hopeful about my future. This is still not what I want to do for a living but it will give me income while I pursue something else. I have a plan for pursuing my dream job. I am scared. I worry that I will fail. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SpiralOut Posted March 10, 2016 Author Share Posted March 10, 2016 I am starting a government contract job next month (direct hire). The starting wage is more than what I made at my last job, even though I worked there four years and got the dinky raises each year. I'm positive the work atmosphere will be professional. Thank god. No more of that in-your-face bull**** that was tolerated at my old job. I cannot help but think of the people who were horrible to me, and imagine them plugging away at that place while I work somewhere so much better. Ha!! I am still looking into other opportunities. I would like to do contract work from home. Link to post Share on other sites
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