Long Term Girlfriend Cheated.

[sbk24]

Hi Goodguy, you know what I did this only a couple of days ago! Most of the days seems like hatred and betrayal but it is making me feel better so just have to keep at it. Are you doing the same?

 

I have had a much better today thank goodness. Emotions do not seem to be everywhere and I think it is just strange not having the same routine and just missing her in general but it will pass eventually and hopefully be a distant memory.

 

How are you and Draper doing today?

[Draper]

Glad to hear you're doing better today

 

I've been posting in the 'Post here instead of contacting your ex' - I found it helped to let some things I wish I could say to her out there. I'm doing pretty average today, just another day I suppose.

 

At this point it's the small things I'm missing like when I want to go out for dinner, or if I see a movie I want to see - because naturally my first instinct is to take her out. Anyway, I know that when the time is right there will be someone else in my life to do those things with.

 

Hope the rest of the day goes well for all

[sbk24]

Hi Guys,

 

 

I just need emotional support. I am having a real tough time with other things: family, business and education. Going to be honest I am depressed and have had dark thoughts. I just really miss my ex. It feels like that she is the only one who understands me and knows me but obviously she is gone.

 

 

I thought I was getting better, just I constantly get bad s***. Feels like every time I move a step forward in healing I get pushed 5 step back.

 

 

So yeah sorry for the rant guys, just feel lost and hopeless.

[goodguy1]

Hi Guys,

 

 

I just need emotional support. I am having a real tough time with other things: family, business and education. Going to be honest I am depressed and have had dark thoughts. I just really miss my ex. It feels like that she is the only one who understands me and knows me but obviously she is gone.

 

 

I thought I was getting better, just I constantly get bad s***. Feels like every time I move a step forward in healing I get pushed 5 step back.

 

 

So yeah sorry for the rant guys, just feel lost and hopeless.

 

Hey sbk24,

 

Everythings going to be alright. Just sit down and take a couple deep breaths. This isn't an easy thing to go through and i know how hard it is. Life's going to keep throwing punches and you just gotta keep taking them and prove that you can take everything. Your a strong guy dude. I know how it feels when it feels like the only person you can talk to in the world is the one person you can't talk too. You feel alone, isolated, you feel like your pretty much dead.

 

Don't think of how you're feeling as a setback but as a process through the journey you've been placed on. The road ahead is going to be long, treacherous, and you'll feel like quitting and its up to you to convince yourself you have what it takes to make it to the end of the road. Do not let her control your life. Don't give into that. I know it seems like the world is crashing down around you and she was the only thing holding it together but the truth is no one can make you happy but yourself. You have to push yourself to let go, push yourself to be happy, push yourself to be you.

 

Like it hasn't been easy for me either some mornings i wake up and can't believe all this has happened but it did and i'm not letting it keep me down anymore. I am proud to say that I'm 2 days shy from a month of NC and i have not dreamed of my ex for more than a week. Trust me dude if i can get through this you can too let me tell you why.

 

My uncle who I've lived with my whole life's health has been horrible and he's gone blind and its not looking too good, my gf cheated and left me for some guy, right after the phone call i get a message from a friend informing me that two of my friends from high school had died in a car accident 10 minutes from my house. I was a mess because all of these things happened at once and all happened just before my birthday. But you know what we all have a choice in life. A choice to wake up and say "Today i'm going to be happy." you keep telling yourself that until you believe it. Go out to the park sit there and stare at the sky just embrace nature or go on the swings (personal favorite) and just think of all the adventures you want to have in life. Life is too short to stay depressed, plan a trip or activity for yourself and make it your mission to do it. It doesn't have to been right away or anytime soon but just make sure you do something for yourself you know? The greatest people in the world have been through the toughest ordeals so how you deal with this will make you great or keep you as nothing. Make yourself into the great man you know you are. Finish school and tear the world a new *******. Nothings holding you back. Your mind is your own worst enemy, show it that you control your own thoughts. Hang in there. It'll get better. I'm here if you need to talk or vent.

[Draper]

Everything will be okay sbk. You know, not only are you going through probably the hardest thing you can go through emotionally (losing your love to someone else) but you all this other stuff going - I think you're handling it better than most. It feels like the walls around you that have been holding our lives together are all falling down at once, but we have to make a choice. We can let those walls fall on top of us, or stand strong and rebuild the ****ers.

 

I know what the setbacks are like. It's like we're trying to walk through this storm and every time we think we've gotten a couple steps closer to the other side, the wind blows us back a few steps. It's painful, it hurts, but we will get to the other side eventually. The bad times will pass, just like the good times did. Waiting for us on the other side is a better life - it's hard to believe sometimes, but we know this.

 

Trust me, I miss my girl like nothing else. Even after everything, I would take a bullet for her because she was my world. She's gone now, and I feel like I have nobody in my life that cares anymore because she was the only person I ever let in, the only one I trusted with everything. But I know that I have to find it within myself to get through this. Sometimes I have to think that I shouldn't even be with someone if I can't be happy by myself.

 

I read a quote the other day and I think it applies to perhaps all 3 of us. It reads: "The most painful thing isn't losing someone you love, it's losing yourself in the process of loving someone more than they deserve, and forgetting that you are special too"

 

They left us high and dry, they're not worth us agonizing over because we're important too and we can't let them keep us at rock bottom. So we fight, we get through the storm, and we come out on the other side as better men. When I start to feel down about everything and feeling sorry for myself, I try to think that the next girl that comes along will get a man far better than my ex had, and in turn she will be a better girl.

 

Keep on going sbk, we're all here together.

[goodguy1]

Hey you guys something phenomenal happened to me yesterday which made me feel really good to myself and proved that we're all meant for better things. So I was celebrating my sisters birthday and at the end of the night I was outside saying goodbye to my cousins when my neighbors came running out of their house screaming that their 5 month old baby wasn't breathing. So I pulled out my phone called 911 and ran straight into their house and saw that the baby was pretty much gone, their was no breathing and she was turning blue so i laid her on the floor and me and the grandmother did cpr for a good 10-15 minutes and I **** you not as soon as the paramedics arrived the baby started breathing again and opened her eyes. It was a very surreal moment. One that i never want to live through again but thank god I was there. So just keep in mind you are meant for something no matter how small it is so keep your heads up.

[hunk]

This is basically why investing in someone emotionally (women) is the most stupid, preventable cause of misery there is. I will also explain why this was YOUR fault. She was GAGGING for a new guy. It most likely didn't even have anything to do with this particular guy, it could've been anyone. This needs to be your wake up call. This has to be the one thing that really makes you question your role in relationships and inspires you to learn WHY this happened. People are going to tell you "not all women are like this!" or "she was a bad person!". Both of those statements are completely incorrect. ALL women are like this, but it's because the men they are with cause them to behave like this. Your ex had completely detached from you towards the end of your relationship because

 

1. She was bored - you bored her

2. You were a pushover

3. You were familiar - 8 years of predictable, stagnant familiarity, from teenage years, will breed a strange, deep shade of contempt

3. She dominated the relationship, even if you don't think she did

4. You had absolutely no idea what you were doing in this relationship

 

Your ex was incapable of loving you the way you loved her. She doesn't care you're depressed and doesn't care how you feel right now. She is impulsive, a slave to her immediate emotions and moods, and is with this new guy now, not even thinking about you. This is women. Women do not love like men. We are the pathetic, romantic, disney-idolizing fools - which is why it's men who are overwhelmingly the depressed and worse-off parties after a breakup.

 

Women love you opportunistically. Your ex was in love with the way you made her feel. Not you. That is horrifically bitter to swallow but it's the truth. In the beginning you made her feel good. Around the 6 year mark, while your love was strong, you were invested and loyal, her investment began to drop as you became complacent, predictable, familiar, boring. While you still love her "for her", unconditionally, this concept is utterly foreign to women and is exclusive to men in terms of romantic relationships. The only unconditional love a woman ever feels is that for her children. She naturally loves you conditionally. She got tired of your predictability, your stagnation. More and more she detaches as she knows you are totally and utterly invested in her - she knows you won't stray. This is a fundamental turn-off for EVERY WOMAN ON THIS PLANET. I don't care if anyone disagrees with this because they're wrong. I'm also willing to bet your sex life was awful/non existent towards the end of your relationship.

 

Eventually, after 8 years of this, all it takes is one guy to make her lady-parts tingle again and she's gone. Please understand that this is EVERYTHING to do with you, it is not her fault, she is simply a woman. If you don't actively try and understand what happened here your life and future relationships with women are going to be miserable and you will become more and more bitter and disillusioned with women and "love" in general.

 

If you want some in-depth, further discussion about this and what to do with yourself please message me.

[Marc878]

It might be a good time for a relocation geographically.

 

Start fresh. Even if she changed her mind you have no future with her.

[Christos]

Please understand that this is EVERYTHING to do with you, it is not her fault, she is simply a woman.

 

Utter and total BS.

 

So, since she is a woman, she is not accountable for her actions? Is she an animal? An automaton?

 

Relationships, take Commitment. Do you understand the meaning of the word? Being commited, means that even though your "parts" are "tingling", you don't stray.

 

In my 6 year relationship, i had my man parts tingle many times for other women who flirted with me and wanted me BADLY. I didn't stray. I was faithful and honest.

 

Men like you, are called Enablers. You are helping perpetuate cheating, because you justify it and remove guilt and accountability from female cheaters.

 

You are part of the problem, and you should feel ashamed.

[frigginlost]

This is basically why investing in someone emotionally (women) is the most stupid, preventable cause of misery there is. I will also explain why this was YOUR fault. She was GAGGING for a new guy. It most likely didn't even have anything to do with this particular guy, it could've been anyone. This needs to be your wake up call. This has to be the one thing that really makes you question your role in relationships and inspires you to learn WHY this happened. People are going to tell you "not all women are like this!" or "she was a bad person!". Both of those statements are completely incorrect. ALL women are like this, but it's because the men they are with cause them to behave like this. Your ex had completely detached from you towards the end of your relationship because

 

1. She was bored - you bored her

2. You were a pushover

3. You were familiar - 8 years of predictable, stagnant familiarity, from teenage years, will breed a strange, deep shade of contempt

3. She dominated the relationship, even if you don't think she did

4. You had absolutely no idea what you were doing in this relationship

 

Your ex was incapable of loving you the way you loved her. She doesn't care you're depressed and doesn't care how you feel right now. She is impulsive, a slave to her immediate emotions and moods, and is with this new guy now, not even thinking about you. This is women. Women do not love like men. We are the pathetic, romantic, disney-idolizing fools - which is why it's men who are overwhelmingly the depressed and worse-off parties after a breakup.

 

Women love you opportunistically. Your ex was in love with the way you made her feel. Not you. That is horrifically bitter to swallow but it's the truth. In the beginning you made her feel good. Around the 6 year mark, while your love was strong, you were invested and loyal, her investment began to drop as you became complacent, predictable, familiar, boring. While you still love her "for her", unconditionally, this concept is utterly foreign to women and is exclusive to men in terms of romantic relationships. The only unconditional love a woman ever feels is that for her children. She naturally loves you conditionally. She got tired of your predictability, your stagnation. More and more she detaches as she knows you are totally and utterly invested in her - she knows you won't stray. This is a fundamental turn-off for EVERY WOMAN ON THIS PLANET. I don't care if anyone disagrees with this because they're wrong. I'm also willing to bet your sex life was awful/non existent towards the end of your relationship.

 

Eventually, after 8 years of this, all it takes is one guy to make her lady-parts tingle again and she's gone. Please understand that this is EVERYTHING to do with you, it is not her fault, she is simply a woman. If you don't actively try and understand what happened here your life and future relationships with women are going to be miserable and you will become more and more bitter and disillusioned with women and "love" in general.

 

If you want some in-depth, further discussion about this and what to do with yourself please message me.

 

I honestly don't know if I want to laugh at this or just shake my head.

 

Without a doubt, one of the biggest piles of horse-crap I have ever read on these boards.

[Christos]

I honestly don't know if I want to laugh at this or just shake my head.

 

Without a doubt, one of the biggest piles of horse-crap I have ever read on these boards.

 

Just go easy on him. Since "game" and "red pill" appeared on the internet, every nerd, geek, and his dog, "understands the nature of women".

 

It never gets old...

 

Funny thing, i used to read that **** when i was 18 years old... Way before they became all the rage... What a load of crap.

[hunk]

Explain to me why any of what i just posted is "BS" or "utter crap". I don't read "game" or red pill, what i wrote is literally an account of the way in which men and women are different, because we are, and why OP was cheated on after 8 years. I know it's offensive and shocking to you but that's how it is. You can sit here and tell someone that their girlfriend cheating on them was all her fault or you can give him constructive advice as to why it happened, beyond "she was just a bad person". C'mon guys.

[hunk]

Utter and total BS.

 

So, since she is a woman, she is not accountable for her actions? Is she an animal? An automaton?

 

Relationships, take Commitment. Do you understand the meaning of the word? Being commited, means that even though your "parts" are "tingling", you don't stray.

 

In my 6 year relationship, i had my man parts tingle many times for other women who flirted with me and wanted me BADLY. I didn't stray. I was faithful and honest.

 

Men like you, are called Enablers. You are helping perpetuate cheating, because you justify it and remove guilt and accountability from female cheaters.

 

You are part of the problem, and you should feel ashamed.

 

If your woman cheats on you, YOU are the problem. I don't care what you think or have to say about this. You can keep going through your 6 year relationships, your marriages etc. and they will all have the same result if you don't change your behavior, if you keep doing and behaving the SAME way in every single relationship expecting a woman to just, by default, be loyal and unconditionally love you no matter how you behave. Why is this concept so offensive to you? I'm not "enabling" anything, if anything, the way i approach things ensures that the women i'm with WON'T cheat on me. Men like you are the problem, who take what i'm saying as some sort of personal, misogynistic blasphemy. Wake up

[Christos]

Explain to me why any of what i just posted is "BS" or "utter crap". I don't read "game" or red pill, what i wrote is literally an account of the way in which men and women are different, because we are, and why OP was cheated on after 8 years. I know it's offensive and shocking to you but that's how it is. You can sit here and tell someone that their girlfriend cheating on them was all her fault or you can give him constructive advice as to why it happened, beyond "she was just a bad person". C'mon guys.

 

Of course we are different. But you said that women are animals without free will and they cannot make a decision but do whatever the impulses makes them do.

 

It is mysoginistic, and it is wrong and not grounded to reality.

 

What you say, is equivalent to some men who say "i cheated on my girlfriend because she didn't give me anal and i have unfullfilled needs" or "i cheated on my girlfriend because she gained weight and another thinner came along". Would you justify such a man?

 

Sure, it is his nature to want to fk everybody, i am a man, i know, but i am not an animal, and i can control my urges. I won't destroy a person, a family, a heart, just because my impulses tell me to go fk another woman.

 

You aren't explaining anything. His girlfriend is a bad person, because she followed her impulses without consideration for the man of her life. That is the very definition of evil, being selfish without consideration for others.

 

And she did have a choice to not cheat. Again, she is not an animal, she is a human being, she has the gift of rational thought.

 

It is just that many men are so used to it, or like to exploit it, so they give female cheaters a free pass...

[hunk]

Yes I would justify such a man. If my girlfriend becomes fat and unattractive, i am dumping her and sleeping with other women. I fell in love with her as a slim, attractive woman. Just like your girlfriend falls in love with you as a confident, exciting, attractive and stimulating man. Unfortunately, all women really need to do to keep men interested is not become fat and hideous, while we have a bit of a harder job keeping our women interested.

 

As much as you desperately want to think that women think the same way as men in terms of loyalty and "honor" etc., they don't. They do not have a conception of "honor", that is something completely constructed by men. A woman is loyal to you as long as you are treating her properly and treating her properly means being a man, not an emasculated and boring familiarity which is what happens to 99% of men in long term relationships. OP's ex was so repulsed and tired of OP and the relationship that she didn't even think to end things with him first, she just threw herself at the first exciting guy she found. Would the emotional pain be any different for OP if she had dumped him, then 2 hours later been sleeping with this new guy? No. Her cheating is irrelevant and is just being used as a tool to victimize OP and vilify his ex. She was leaving regardless, their relationship was done regardless. The cheating is the symptom of a problem OP has to address, not his ex. His ex will never "change" or become a "better person". She acted on her nature and impulses. Even if she hadn't done the physical act of cheating, the relationship was well and truly, 100% OVER

[frigginlost]

Yes I would justify such a man. If my girlfriend becomes fat and unattractive, i am dumping her and sleeping with other women. I fell in love with her as a slim, attractive woman. Just like your girlfriend falls in love with you as a confident, exciting, attractive and stimulating man. Unfortunately, all women really need to do to keep men interested is not become fat and hideous, while we have a bit of a harder job keeping our women interested.

 

I'm gonna have you show your cards right now, Hunk:

 

Your girlfriend is in a car accident, and as a result becomes disfigured. Do you stay?

 

As much as you desperately want to think that women think the same way as men in terms of loyalty and "honor" etc., they don't. They do not have a conception of "honor", that is something completely constructed by men.

 

More bullsh*t. Tell that to the wives of disfigured veterans who have stood by their men.

 

A woman is loyal to you as long as you are treating her properly and treating her properly means being a man, not an emasculated and boring familiarity which is what happens to 99% of men in long term relationships. OP's ex was so repulsed and tired of OP and the relationship that she didn't even think to end things with him first, she just threw herself at the first exciting guy she found. Would the emotional pain be any different for OP if she had dumped him, then 2 hours later been sleeping with this new guy? No. Her cheating is irrelevant and is just being used as a tool to victimize OP and vilify his ex. She was leaving regardless, their relationship was done regardless. The cheating is the symptom of a problem OP has to address, not his ex. His ex will never "change" or become a "better person". She acted on her nature and impulses. Even if she hadn't done the physical act of cheating, the relationship was well and truly, 100% OVER

 

Amazing you know so much about a woman's true nature. So let me ask you Hank, are you saying that every time you were dumped, it was entirely your fault and your ex played no part in it? It was only because you were not man enough for her?

[Christos]

There is no point in continuing to argue with a "red piller". They know-it-all about women. Misogyny at its finest.

 

The truth is, most men are fine in long term relationships and marriages. A man is not supposed to be a clown to entertain a woman.

 

The real reason women cheat, is because they can. Most people like hunk, will go and defend the little princess, and blame the man for her deception. "He wasn't man enough".

 

All the while, if a man cheats, he is a scumbag. And all, relatives, friends etc, will hate him and want to do nothing with him.

 

When you can have pleasure and excitement, without penalty, and the only thing holding you back is your conscience, then bad people will proceed while ethical people will not.

 

That's the concept of good and evil.

 

Hunk, if you were rich and i was given the possibility to rob you and kill you with 100% chance of no one learning a thing, i wouldn't do it. Some other people might have done it. The "no one learning a thing" part, is what makes it a test of morality.

 

When people aren't afraid of reprecussions, they show their true character.

 

Women in western societies, are "liberated" to cheat as they please. They are encouraged to cheat. Arabic women almost never cheat... And most of their husbands are in my opinion of a far lower -relationship- value than most western males. So why they don't cheat? Because if they do, they will be ridiculed and punished, that's why...

 

You can argue about male and female urges all day. And the truth is, most males want to fk every female and every female wants to get fked by every male. It is as simple as that. If we were animals, we would be doing it like dogs in the streets with total strangers.

 

But the thing is, we are not animals. We are humans. We have society, we have rules, and monogamous relationships/marriages are such a rule... A rule has a meaning for as long as there is respect for it from everyone involved.

[hunk]

Yes we live in a western society where women have fought tooth and nail to be treated equally. Do you think in a western, totally feminized society, women would allow any form of "punishment" to exist for them cheating? Hell no, because it goes back to the idea that women would therefore "belong" to their man. We live in a society that calls for us to adapt to the way things are. It's not changing any time soon. So, men adapt to their own nature and the nature of women in a modern, western civilization. We will never, ever live in a developed, civilized society where there is punishment for women cheating on their husbands. It will never come to that.

 

OP's ex isn't thinking about "repercussions" she's thinking "this guy is making me feel good and i want to be with him". That's it. There's no ****ing "repercussions" - she might (most definitely does) RECOGNIZE and understand that what she's doing is morally wrong but this abject, constructed "morality" doesn't have any weight against her fundamental urges and wanting to be with this guy. Dishonor and "betrayal" in this way is just a ridiculous concept men have created. No one belongs to anyone. No one is obligated to do anything for anyone. You have people in your life who compliment and make your life better and serve a purpose and vice versa, when they stop serving that purpose they are no long a priority. OP's role as lover was simply terminated for this woman, and since she is not capable of "unconditional", "romantic", deeply invested and attached fairytale love like stupid men are, she slept with another man because it's what she wanted to do as 1. a human being and 2. a female - she had ZERO sexual investment or attachment to OP and without that there is nothing left for her. Why the hell should there be? Why should she just unconditionally love this guy if he's not doing anything for her? Do you see the point i'm trying to make here?

 

Most men are not fine in long term relationships and marriages and you are completely deluded to think that. Most men have no idea what the hell they are doing in a relationship. Everyone who starts a thread in this forum has no idea what they're doing in a relationship. I really don't understand why you're arguing with me, it's like what i'm saying is somehow offending you. Fundamentally i know that you actually agree with what i'm saying so just let it go.

 

I'm done posting about this, it really isn't a hard concept to understand and it's sad that more people can't just open their eyes and realize that the world and people specifically might not (hint: they don't) work in the way we have been led to wishfully trust and believe they do

[hunk]

Also your point about "rules" is completely redundant in the context of a sexual relationship. If someone stops doing it for you, "rules" are out the window. If a woman is no longer sexually invested in a man, do you think any "agreed upon rules" are relevant in any way whatsoever? No, it's an instant "NEXT" and no regard for "rules" because she doesn't care about the guy, he's not important to her anymore as in he's stopped serving his purpose and she has zero obligation to uphold any "rules".

[sbk24]

Hi guys, it has been a few days. It is a web forum and Hank is entitled to his opinion and we can choose to take into his account his opinion or not.

 

Thank you for the encouragement and support. I really do need it. I have actually booked a one way ticket to go to South Asia for a bit. Just to get away from daily ****ty life. Maybe a change of atmosphere will help.

 

I guess I am having an early midlife crisis (this is what the counsellor has said) as I am too old for my age and that I am going to go through several relationships before you find the right person. Which is what pretty much everyone on this forum says. I guess I am scared for the future and just have too much **** going on that I am just not enjoying daily life. I nearly broke NC a couple of days ago as my father (who lives abroad and I don't get on with) sent me suicidal messages and I honestly didn't know what to do. He really has set me backwards and my mind is f*****. Close friends and family just say he is attention seeking and wants money. I just felt like the person I needed to talk too first was my ex, but I stood my ground as I know if I talk to her I would be hurt even more in the long term.

 

Anyhow, how are you guys getting along?

[goodguy1]

Hi guys, it has been a few days. It is a web forum and Hank is entitled to his opinion and we can choose to take into his account his opinion or not.

 

Thank you for the encouragement and support. I really do need it. I have actually booked a one way ticket to go to South Asia for a bit. Just to get away from daily ****ty life. Maybe a change of atmosphere will help.

 

I guess I am having an early midlife crisis (this is what the counsellor has said) as I am too old for my age and that I am going to go through several relationships before you find the right person. Which is what pretty much everyone on this forum says. I guess I am scared for the future and just have too much **** going on that I am just not enjoying daily life. I nearly broke NC a couple of days ago as my father (who lives abroad and I don't get on with) sent me suicidal messages and I honestly didn't know what to do. He really has set me backwards and my mind is f*****. Close friends and family just say he is attention seeking and wants money. I just felt like the person I needed to talk too first was my ex, but I stood my ground as I know if I talk to her I would be hurt even more in the long term.

 

Anyhow, how are you guys getting along?

 

I'm sorry to hear about your dad my friend i hope everything turns out alright and yeah booking that trip to Asia sounds great! It'll be exactly what you need a new outlook on life, a brand new adventure. I'm very proud of you for sticking to NC i know how hard it can be i literally just hit a month today! So woot woot on that. Just stay strong and live it up in Asia and experience new things and i can assure you that you will feel better about yourself. Talk to people overthere and listen to their stories. I'm actually heading to Europe in May for i'm hoping 3-7 months to make a documentary so I'm really excited about that. Just don't forget about school and your studies, remember your future is what is the most important thing ok?

[Draper]

****, sbk, sorry to hear about your dad man. If I feel this bad after a 6 month relationship, I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through after so long plus all this other stuff on top of it.

 

We'll get through this, though. We will. I'm actually doing well, I'm nearing on 3 weeks of NC, and let me tell you something - you gotta just face it and get out there. That's what I've been doing, and this morning I woke up with my arms around another girl - it's a weird feeling at first when your used to being with someone else, but I feel like it helped me move on. If nothing else, it reiterated that it's really done.

 

I'm not naive enough to think the sadness isn't going to hit me again, but my point is don't let all this **** bring you down. We've already been at rock bottom and we can only go up from here.

[goodguy1]

Hey how are you guys doing?

[sbk24]

Hi Goodguy,

 

Pretty ****ty to be honest, since we have last spoken I have failed to get on my flight to asia due to anxiety and panic attacks. I have been in a car crash, where d*** of the year decided to pull out on me at a junction. Then finally my so called 'father' is just being selfish. So basically yeah i need to get a grip.

 

With regard to how I am feeling, I am just angry who I have become; depressing and anxious. I am seeing a counselor who tbf isn't helping and I feel like i am going in circles. I do miss her with all my heart but I know she isn't the same person. There is not anything I can do anyhow and I do not want to know who she has is now. However, I always keep thinking that one day she will go back to how she always but that is not going to happen. Even though what she has done and the way she has treated me I forgive her as **** happens.

 

How about you guys?

[pinkpositive]

I'm going to say something you will not like. You two need to break up because you need to experience life and grow up without being in such a serious relationship for so long. You were children when you got together so your development and individuality never happened in a completely healthy way. She is experimenting because she wants to be free to develop...having experiences is part of that. You two need to both have experiences as young adults so you can grow as individuals and figure out what you like and want in life and in relationships. This is why she cheated and it wasn't the right way to handle things.

Regarding the cheating and gaslighting...not acceptable in any relationship. She is duplicitous. Dump her and find someone loyal. You deserve better.

Move on,

Grumpy

 

Your are right!

 

Hi, I've been 8years in a relationship before. Im 22 yrs old now and we were also childhood sweetheart like you. I cheated my bf that's true. I know I changed so much after I graduated in college and left him to work from another place. Grumpy is right. She was with you for 8 years and havent experience a lot in life and she wants to explore. I feel the same with her, in my own opinion I cheated and broke up with him because I want to explore in life and experience new things. I also felt so bored with him and wanting to have new guy to date. We're already broke up for 2 years now and im in a relationship right now (ldr). bUT I admit I still miss my ex boyfriend so much and wihsing I did not hurt him cos he was really good man. Your Ex gf will also realize that one day. Just let her enjoy and explore. Dont show her that you still care or love her you will just give her some kind of confidence, Move on man.