Long Term Girlfriend Cheated.

[goodguy1]

Hey guys so i have an update on my situation.

 

So i broke no contact last night.... She texted me around midnight apologizing for everything she had done to me and for cheating. She owned that she was the problem in the relationship and never really tried to work out our problems and just kept things to herself. She said her life's a mess and misses me and that she's stressed out and failing her classes and that she still considers me her best friend and she wishes that we could talk everyday like we used to. I thanked her for her apology and told her that talking like we used to and being friends was an unrealistic wish as she's still with OM and i have given up on us ever being together again. I know this is most likely just a ploy to keep me on the rebound as OM has hardcore tabs on her an from what she said calls her every 5 minutes demanding where she is and tries to include himself in all of her plans. She no longer has the freedom she had with me as well as the emotional support i provided especially when she was stressed with school. I wish her the best and told her she had to sleep in the bed she made.

 

It was a bittersweet moment as i never wanted her to be depressed and unhappy but i am glad that she's starting to realize what she lost and will never get back.

[Oregon_Dude]

Some of you guys just don't get it.

 

As long as you're available - responding, contacting, anything - you're losing the game.

 

Your ex is a ghost. A remnant from the life you used to lead. Someone the old you would have dated. Stop talking to them. They dumped you. They only want to use you for emotional support - THEIR emotional support. They don't care about you. They don't value you. You're just an extension of THEM.

 

So stop f*cking talking to them, and be a man.

[goodguy1]

Some of you guys just don't get it.

 

As long as you're available - responding, contacting, anything - you're losing the game.

 

Your ex is a ghost. A remnant from the life you used to lead. Someone the old you would have dated. Stop talking to them. They dumped you. They only want to use you for emotional support - THEIR emotional support. They don't care about you. They don't value you. You're just an extension of THEM.

 

So stop f*cking talking to them, and be a man.

 

No reason so be so uptight. It's not like i am still talking to her. I just told her there was no chance and goodbye. and its not a game, or atleast i don't understand how it could be if I'm not trying to get her back. I didn't give her any emotional support i told her this is what she did and what she has to live with so i don't really see how i lost there.

[Oregon_Dude]

No reason so be so uptight. It's not like i am still talking to her. I just told her there was no chance and goodbye. and its not a game, or atleast i don't understand how it could be if I'm not trying to get her back. I didn't give her any emotional support i told her this is what she did and what she has to live with so i don't really see how i lost there.

Dude, if you don't want to see reality, it's your loss. I have no stake in your breakup.

 

By speaking to her at all, you are communicating that you are there for her.

 

You know what speaks loudest? Silence.

 

I'm gonna take my uptight a** to a more sensible thread.

[goodguy1]

Dude, if you don't want to see reality, it's your loss. I have no stake in your breakup.

 

By speaking to her at all, you are communicating that you are there for her.

 

You know what speaks loudest? Silence.

 

I'm gonna take my uptight a** to a more sensible thread.

 

I'm sorry if i offended you. I understand these threads are suppose to be for people to help each other out and I'm sorry i threw yours down. I greatly appreciate your point of view and understand that silence is the best weapon against people like my ex. I had a moment of weakness after 3 months of NC and after that this single break in NC i do not plan on contacting her again. As far as I'm concerned any relationship I've had with her is over and i don't plan on ever contacting her again.

[Oregon_Dude]

I am far from offended. I'm glad you have no intention of contacting/responding to her again. It must feel kind of nice that her life is far from perfect after dumping you.

 

I am f*cking sick of seeing good men thrown away like this. My anger comes from good men not respecting themselves enough to ignore those who threw them away, forever.

[goodguy1]

I am far from offended. I'm glad you have no intention of contacting/responding to her again. It must feel kind of nice that her life is far from perfect after dumping you.

 

I am f*cking sick of seeing good men thrown away like this. My anger comes from good men not respecting themselves enough to ignore those who threw them away, forever.

 

yeah i totally get where you are coming from and actually hearing that her life is ****ty with the OM is actually just what i needed and it made me feel a lot better.

 

And yeah you don't have to worry about me contacting/responding to her again. As far as I'm concerned i feel like i can live my life again. Like Frank Sinatra said, "The best revenge is massive success."

[Oregon_Dude]

actually hearing that her life is ****ty with the OM is actually just what i needed and it made me feel a lot better.

You're very fortunate to have gotten this information. Most people don't get such good ammo to move forward. The rest of us are left wondering.

 

Oh well, f*ck em. If they don't appreciate a good thing, they didn't deserve to have it.

[goodguy1]

yeah it gave me some peace of mind knowing that karma is getting her right now especially after how good i was to her for 6 years. and i couldnt have said it any better myself. ****' em they didn't know a good thing when they had it and they don't deserve it now.

[mightycpa]

You're very fortunate to have gotten this information. Most people don't get such good ammo to move forward. The rest of us are left wondering.

 

Oh well, f*ck em. If they don't appreciate a good thing, they didn't deserve to have it.

 

yeah it gave me some peace of mind knowing that karma is getting her right now especially after how good i was to her for 6 years. and i couldnt have said it any better myself. ****' em they didn't know a good thing when they had it and they don't deserve it now.

 

Jeez! You guys are a couple of bitter old hens!

 

I detect some remaining sensitivity to the subject that eventually needs to be addressed and discarded. Not that either of you asked, but you know, we ARE here to help each other.

[Oregon_Dude]

I detect some remaining sensitivity to the subject that eventually needs to be addressed and discarded. Not that either of you asked, but you know, we ARE here to help each other.

I'm in therapy. I don't think Love Shack is going to be able to help me.

[sbk24]

Hi Guys,

 

Sorry for the slow reply been a bit hectic with work and gym etc and have tried to keep off social media at the moment.

 

Goodguy I understand you broke NC but it doesn't matter as to be honest and I am glad you made the message clear. I am also glad it has made you feel better and you are correct she is the one who made the choice and she must deal with the consequence.

 

I have felt better recently, I do not think about my ex all the time anymore and I have met a girl I really like. Not ready still but it is nice to be in company of a female instead of being with mates all the time.

 

OregonDude I understand I have therapy too. But it is nice to just talk to people and express what we are thinking sometimes I guess. If you ever want to chat just send me a private message

[Draper]

Good on you, goodguy. I'd like to say I wouldn't respond if I received a similar text, but I don't necessarily blame you for responding. I'm just glad you didn't let it overwhelm you and start pouring your heart out to her or something, because we all know she doesn't deserve that.

 

You know, like you said, these girls that we're dealing with have thrown away good men who treated them well and now they get to live with that, not us. I like to believe that even though I'm probably in more pain than my ex at this moment, in the end I will have the better end of the stick.

 

I got out before things got any more serious. I got out from a relationship with a toxic and emotionally damaged chick who took me for granted. I got out before I wasted any more of my life on someone that simply didn't deserve to be a part of my life.

 

Anyways, I'm glad you guys seem to be doing well. Also happy to see that sbk and OD are getting professional help, I'm sure it could go a long way in helping you grow from this difficult time.

 

Cheers everyone.

[goodguy1]

Hey,

How are you guys doing? It's been awhile.

[Draper]

Hey goodguy,

 

I'm doing well. It still keeps me up and night but I'm starting to forget. I know it's a good thing, but it kind of sucks that she's never tried to contact me this whole time - makes you feel like nothing mattered you know? Anyway, I'm trying to move on and I am but I still have tough days especially around the holidays and all that.

 

How are you guys doing?

[Jax13]

I'm going to post here because it seems like you guys are going through almost exactly the same thing as I am now.

 

 

My ex and I dated for 4.5 years, through college and after college for 2 years of working. Our lives had started to settle down and we talked about getting married, buying a house together, and having a family. In these talks, my ex started talking about going back to school for a year 1500 miles away so she could get better hours and a promotion at home. We both found it hard but I encouraged her to follow her dream and told her we would make it work.

 

 

Our relationship had some ups and downs but I never thought anything was too serious. In October she started talking to this other guy I know has had a crush on her for awhile. I told her to quit but she ensured me he was just being friendly... I trusted her, because I never had any reason not to in the past. Guys have hit on her before and she's been friendly but never went anywhere with them.

 

 

I noticed she had started hanging around with some people I don't necessarily think of as good influences. One night at the bar, we were all there and she said she was going home with her girlfriends...later I found out that she went home with this guy and he kissed her. I gave her a really hard time and told her I wouldn't stand for it. Well the next week or so, I'd catch her texting him once in awhile and I'd get mad again... Then on Halloween, she went out with her girlfriends and I stayed home with my buddies... Turns out, she went home with him again that night. She broke down to me the next day and told me she cheated on me, that she felt awful and knew it was the worst possible thing she could have done in the world. She honestly felt awful for hurting me but decided we needed time and space to figure this out.

 

 

She would text me occasionally throughout the next few weeks telling me how awful he was for her and that he isn't what she ever wants in a relationship but he charmed her when she was starting to feel "bored" in our relationship. In her head she knows me and her were perfect, but lust caused another feeling. she told me she wishes she could take it all back and fix everything but what's done is done and she has to live with it and try to figure out how to forgive herself now. I told her that the best solution would be to completely sever herself from him and me and work on herself.

 

 

Well now a month or so later, she is still "with" this guy and texts me occasionally telling me how awful she feels for hurting me and how guilty she feels. I know she knows she made a mistake, and is still making one by being "with" this guy.

 

 

She is actually taking that spot in school in a few months now and will be moving 1500 miles away, which is good. It will give her time to think about what she really wants out of life, and a relationship.

 

 

The hard part is that I was also really good friends with her sister and boyfriend, and her parents were just like parents to me. All her friends and family know the story of what happened to some degree and everyone else says it isn't like her and she will realize in time what a great thing she had with me. Even my ex has said that but isn't sure how to fix anything now... I guess time will heal all wounds.

 

 

I still love my ex and it's hard not talking to her after being best friends for 4.5 years. I know she still values me as a person because she told me. We had the same values, religious beliefs and goals in life. I am just so confused on why she'd throw it all away.

 

 

She has offered to meet up with me some day to try to explain what she did and why, but I don't know if I want to hear it. Especially if she is still "with" this other guy. I know that won't last, so does her sister and family. But it is up to her to realize. I know she is the type of person to overthink and overanalyze everything so all this guilt must just be eating her up inside. And eventually, that will come to the surface and she will have to face her feelings. It's just that everything would be so much easier for me to handle if she wasn't still "seeing" this other douchebag.

 

 

A little history on this other guy...He's polar opposite from me. He's a liar, cheater, and a thief. I know this for a fact since he tried to steal money from my friend one night at the bar. He's not religious, has a dead end job with no money and also no goals in life. It's just got every single trait of a rebound relationship written all over it.

[sbk24]

Hi Jax13,

 

Wow your story is so similar to mine it is unreal. I am sorry things ended the way it did. I know you will be hurting as all of us are probably still hurting in one way or another. I have learnt a lot from this break up:

 

- People can change very quick.

- You will find who your true friends are.

- Love is actually real! As it freakin hurts.

- You need to be confident and love yourself before you can love someone else!

As your happiness should never be dependent on someone else.

- Start to appreciate people and beings like animals etc rather than materialistic items.

 

I think that the biggest factor in why things have happened is because we are young and these girls just get bored and wanted something different. They may regret it in the future as my ex, like you Jax13, went for someone completely different. However, we should not honestly care. My view now is that it has happened, cannot do anything, yes it hurts but I had a good 8 years with the ex and I am disappointed in how she did things in the end but we MUST MOVE ON.

 

Like I have said, it hurts. It has hit me more that I would expect as I seemed the strong one in the relationship but all I can say is that I am a much stronger person than I was a couple of months back and I will continue to get stronger. Still not ready for dating and its probably been around 5 months now. Ah well. One day hopefully!

 

How are you other guys going?

[goodguy1]

Hey goodguy,

 

I'm doing well. It still keeps me up and night but I'm starting to forget. I know it's a good thing, but it kind of sucks that she's never tried to contact me this whole time - makes you feel like nothing mattered you know? Anyway, I'm trying to move on and I am but I still have tough days especially around the holidays and all that.

 

How are you guys doing?

 

Hey Draper,

 

It's good to hear that you're doing well. I know it sucks that you haven't heard from her in what is it now? A little over 3 months right? Yeah holidays are tough like they don't have the same meaning anymore cause we're going through this stuff but hey don't let that stop you from having a good time with your family and friends you know? We gotta keep living our lives for us.

 

I'm doing good right now it's been one hell of a week cause I went to the Star Wars preiemere in hollywood so that made me forget about everything for a while and it was great. My ex on the other hand has been calling and texting me like everyday now saying how stressed she is, failing school, and that she misses me and wants me in her life but she's still with the other guy. I haven't replied to her and I just delete every message she sends me and blocked her new number last night. Alot of my friends who still go to school and work with her have told me she's been super depressed and looks miserable with the other guy but it's not my problem anymore. It's hard to feel sad for someone when they've hurt you the way she hurt me and made the choice to be with that guy.

 

I hope you have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year my friend. I say when this year ends we should leave all this **** behind us. No need to carry it over into the new year you know what I mean? I know it's easier said than done but it's worth a try.

[Draper]

Yeah good guy it's around 3 and a half months or so since I last saw or heard from her, and pretty much 4 months since she actually left. I know it's a good thing that I haven't heard anything, as it would certainly only set me back, but it just kind of stings that she never has never said a word, you know?

 

The last thing she said to me was something along the lines of 'im sorry will, you deserve to be treated a hell of a lot better than this' - so at least we agree on that. I don't know why I've been thinking about her so much lately, i guess it's just being back in this town and the holidays and stuff.

 

Still being hurt after all this time starts to get tiring though, I mean have days where I just feel dumb for being so bent out of shape over her. I guess a lot of what I think about is just how many questions I was left with - the day it actually, she said over and over that it wasn't forever and that she saw this grand future with me; obviously it was naive thinking but in the moment it's hard to see that and it really messed with you.

 

In any case, I'm happy to hear you're doing good. I think you're exactly right - it's not your problem anymore. She made her bed, now she's got to sleep in it. Besides, even if either of our exs came back begging for us, we know it would never last because they destroyed two things crucial to a relationship when they betrayed us - trust and respect.

 

I'm all for trying to leave this behind with the new year coming, in fact I'd do just about anything to forget everything that has happened and stop feeling this way.

 

Hope everything is still good with everyone.

[lemondrop21]

She is in lust and will snap out of it eventually.

 

This is going to be hard because even if you don't reconcile, part of you will always wonder about her and vice-versa. The curse of the childhood sweetheart.

 

But, I agree with others that for you to experience life with other people is a good thing. One, two, or five years down the line, you might find your way back to each other and find that you are both more mature and stable versions of yourselves. Right now, she has some growing up to do... and you deserve a relationship with someone who treats you better. It will be awhile before it happens because your heart isn't open to it now, but it will be great when it does. And if you do reconcile a little later in life, you will have learned new things from any other relationships you've had and can use this knowledge to make your relationship even better.

 

Best of luck to you as you are in for a very rough several months. Family, friends, and maybe therapy can help. And go light on the booze if you can. Just focus on getting through your days and have faith that it WILL get better with time.

[Imajerk17]

I'm going to post here because it seems like you guys are going through almost exactly the same thing as I am now.

 

 

My ex and I dated for 4.5 years, through college and after college for 2 years of working. Our lives had started to settle down and we talked about getting married, buying a house together, and having a family. In these talks, my ex started talking about going back to school for a year 1500 miles away so she could get better hours and a promotion at home. We both found it hard but I encouraged her to follow her dream and told her we would make it work.

 

 

Our relationship had some ups and downs but I never thought anything was too serious. In October she started talking to this other guy I know has had a crush on her for awhile. I told her to quit but she ensured me he was just being friendly... I trusted her, because I never had any reason not to in the past. Guys have hit on her before and she's been friendly but never went anywhere with them.

 

 

I noticed she had started hanging around with some people I don't necessarily think of as good influences. One night at the bar, we were all there and she said she was going home with her girlfriends...later I found out that she went home with this guy and he kissed her. I gave her a really hard time and told her I wouldn't stand for it. Well the next week or so, I'd catch her texting him once in awhile and I'd get mad again... Then on Halloween, she went out with her girlfriends and I stayed home with my buddies... Turns out, she went home with him again that night. She broke down to me the next day and told me she cheated on me, that she felt awful and knew it was the worst possible thing she could have done in the world. She honestly felt awful for hurting me but decided we needed time and space to figure this out.

 

 

She would text me occasionally throughout the next few weeks telling me how awful he was for her and that he isn't what she ever wants in a relationship but he charmed her when she was starting to feel "bored" in our relationship. In her head she knows me and her were perfect, but lust caused another feeling. she told me she wishes she could take it all back and fix everything but what's done is done and she has to live with it and try to figure out how to forgive herself now. I told her that the best solution would be to completely sever herself from him and me and work on herself.

 

 

Well now a month or so later, she is still "with" this guy and texts me occasionally telling me how awful she feels for hurting me and how guilty she feels. I know she knows she made a mistake, and is still making one by being "with" this guy.

 

 

She is actually taking that spot in school in a few months now and will be moving 1500 miles away, which is good. It will give her time to think about what she really wants out of life, and a relationship.

 

 

The hard part is that I was also really good friends with her sister and boyfriend, and her parents were just like parents to me. All her friends and family know the story of what happened to some degree and everyone else says it isn't like her and she will realize in time what a great thing she had with me. Even my ex has said that but isn't sure how to fix anything now... I guess time will heal all wounds.

 

 

I still love my ex and it's hard not talking to her after being best friends for 4.5 years. I know she still values me as a person because she told me. We had the same values, religious beliefs and goals in life. I am just so confused on why she'd throw it all away.

 

 

She has offered to meet up with me some day to try to explain what she did and why, but I don't know if I want to hear it. Especially if she is still "with" this other guy. I know that won't last, so does her sister and family. But it is up to her to realize. I know she is the type of person to overthink and overanalyze everything so all this guilt must just be eating her up inside. And eventually, that will come to the surface and she will have to face her feelings. It's just that everything would be so much easier for me to handle if she wasn't still "seeing" this other douchebag.

 

 

A little history on this other guy...He's polar opposite from me. He's a liar, cheater, and a thief. I know this for a fact since he tried to steal money from my friend one night at the bar. He's not religious, has a dead end job with no money and also no goals in life. It's just got every single trait of a rebound relationship written all over it.

 

I am very sorry to read this Jax, but as an older man--past 40--this story is hardly a mystery at all to me.

 

At the end of the day, we go for people who let us play the roles we want to play--even if it is subconscious--and NOT necessarily those who are the ones who are best for us or who have the most going for them. Anyway, from your story (here and on your other threads) it sounds to me that your ex-girlfriend went from a childhood with strict nurturing parents to just a bit of adolescence to being in a serious relationship with you. She had her spiritual beliefs basically handed to her by her parents and then confirmed and shared by you. She hardly had a chance to truly be on her own and explore who she is. If she stayed with you, she would have had a safe happy life with no strife apparent on the horizon. I actually don't think that was what she really wanted, or was ready for yet.

 

Getting back to the roles she wanted to play, I betcha that there is also a part of herself that wants to see herself as wild and free. Or even as a strong woman who can rescue a troubled man. I sound like Christian Grey writing this, but then again, everyone laughs at how cheesy romance novels are and yet they are the best-selling genre of books out there.

 

All the topical "reasons" she gave you--about not going to church enough (mentioned in one of your other posts) or not being a good enough cook or whatever--are all just things she is telling you to rationalize her decision and to attempt to make herself feel better about her (awful) behaviour. The stuff she said about reminding her too much of her dad or being commitment phobic (quite understandable for a 22-year-old who hasn't had a chance to be on her own) are more telling.

 

I'm not minimizing your pain, or the pain of @sbk24 or @goodguy1 or the other guys posting on this thread. What you all are going through now truly sucks and I empathize. I AM trying to give you some insight as to what I think is really happening.

Edited December 23, 2015 by Imajerk17

[greenleaves54]

Anyway, from your story (here and on your other threads) it sounds to me that your ex-girlfriend went from a childhood with strict nurturing parents to just a bit of adolescence to being in a serious relationship with you. She had her spiritual beliefs basically handed to her by her parents and then confirmed and shared by you. She hardly had a chance to truly be on her own and explore who she is. If she stayed with you, she would have had a safe happy life with no strife apparent on the horizon. I actually don't think that was what she really wanted, or was ready for yet.

 

Getting back to the roles she wanted to play, I betcha that there is also a part of herself that wants to see herself as wild and free. Or even as a strong woman who can rescue a troubled man. I sound like Christian Grey writing this, but then again, everyone laughs at how cheesy romance novels are and yet they are the best-selling genre of books out there.

 

Great post Imajerk17!

 

Like many others in this thread, I was also dumped in september, about 3 months ago. And like others in this thread and like millions of other people in history my ex was a young one.

 

Your description was pretty much spot on. The part about the ex wanting to rescue a troubled man was especially interesting. I was always my ex's emotional support much more than she was mine. It's quite possibly that she felt the need to try to play another role that wasn't possible with me.

 

Whenever a thought pops up in my head about how she could abandon our relationship and choose some mediocre guy over me, I tell myself: "Dude, you're a bloody catch. She is young and makes emotional, irrational decisions. Hold your head high and await the lucky girl that will have the priviledge of recieving your love and sharing her life with you. Your ex didn't realize what she threw away. Too bad for her".

[dreamingoftigers]

Hey Draper,

 

It's good to hear that you're doing well. I know it sucks that you haven't heard from her in what is it now? A little over 3 months right? Yeah holidays are tough like they don't have the same meaning anymore cause we're going through this stuff but hey don't let that stop you from having a good time with your family and friends you know? We gotta keep living our lives for us.

 

I'm doing good right now it's been one hell of a week cause I went to the Star Wars preiemere in hollywood so that made me forget about everything for a while and it was great. My ex on the other hand has been calling and texting me like everyday now saying how stressed she is, failing school, and that she misses me and wants me in her life but she's still with the other guy. I haven't replied to her and I just delete every message she sends me and blocked her new number last night. Alot of my friends who still go to school and work with her have told me she's been super depressed and looks miserable with the other guy but it's not my problem anymore. It's hard to feel sad for someone when they've hurt you the way she hurt me and made the choice to be with that guy.

 

I hope you have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year my friend. I say when this year ends we should leave all this **** behind us. No need to carry it over into the new year you know what I mean? I know it's easier said than done but it's worth a try.

 

I often find that women who say "I'm sooooo depressed, my life is sooooo awful etc." Are often just trying to trigger that "hero" instinct in men and draw them back in.

 

Same instinct exists in us too. You see if most often with cheater-husbands telling their "other women" about how "awful their wife is. I'm just sooo unhappy. I only feel good when I'm with special you."

 

Don't fall for that.

It's the same garbage she pulled with you.

 

She probably told the other guy(s) how "mean and controlling and angry" or whatever you were.

 

Blah. It's all a bunch of garbage that basically says "I am incapable of saving myself from myself and hope that someone will come along and do the heavy lifting and make me happy. Even though that comes almost entirely from within.

 

Yes, a change in partners can bring a temporary high. It's new, exciting, they are enthusiastic about you too......but then somewhere along the line the new partner becomes a person with their own flaws and struggles.

 

Find someone that wants you as a person. Not just as an object to stabilize them.

[sbk24]

Hi guys, it has been a while as I have been distracted with work and gym but finally it is time for a break.

 

Just to let you guys know I do feel so much better than I did a few months back, finally feeling normal again and it doesn't hurt to have flashbacks (which must be a good sign). I do miss my ex especially round this time of year when we normally spent quality time together and I do still find it rather weird being single. However, it is not a bad thing at all!

 

I still think that how my ex ended things was dispicable but tbh in the end to be true to myself I do forgive her as there isn't no point holding a grudge and she deserves to be happy like each and every one of us. However, this doesn't mean I would ever talk to her or her family still.

 

At the end of the day I wouldn't have changed the past 8 years with her. I was happy and it was a good experience and it is quite exciting what would happen in the future as anything at all is possible! Plus this year i probably have saved quite a bit of money not spending it on her.

 

I hope you guys feel better and believe me it does get better as time does progress. We sort of just accept it and before you know it everything becomes a distant memory. I have learnt a lot from the break up and I hope you guys too as it has made me a lot stronger.

 

If I don't talk to you guys before Christmas, have a good one! Just eat, drink, play and spend time with your loved ones.

[Draper]

Really happy to hear you're doing better SBK, good on you. I'm still working on it and you know, like you said, I understand that she deserves to be happy and who am I to stand im the way - i don't agree with the way she went about ending things with me and after hearing about how great of a bf I was and all that everyday it took me by surprise, but I can't hold leaving against her. She should have been more straight with me yes and I'll probably never forgive her for doing me dirty the way she did but at the end of the day we have to believe in what we have to offer and know we will find someone who appreciates it someday.

 

The holidays obviously are tough and I really find myself thinking about her a lot. As much as I tried to tell myself it was over for good I always had this part of me that felt she would come back and say she made a mistake or whatever but after 4 months of not hearing from her its really starting to set in that she don't care anymore and therefore neither should I.