supermaddud Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 A few months ago me and my ex broke up due to fighting and my own insecurities. After the breakup I constantly annoyed her with text messages, something that was wrong of me and I wish I had the hindsight to see that that was wrong. She eventually blocked me on Facebook a month ago, something that I believe was the right thing to do. Shes unblocked me recently, but hasn't sent me a message or anything like that. I am unsure as to whether I should send this message asking her to forgive me or not. She is going to uni next week too, and I'm scared that there's nothing that I can do now. "I don't know when or why you unblocked me, but I hope it's been long enough now that I can properly apologise. I think you did the right thing in blocking me, the way I was acting was ridiculous, it's taken me some time to truly realise that and I have no excuses. I hope we can put it behind us but if it's too soon then that's okay, and I really mean that. I don't know whether I'm doing the right thing in apoligising but I always feel that if I have done someone wrong then I must try. I'm not trying to guilt trip you, or play games or anything like that, I really do mean it when I say I'm sorry. Please forgive me, but if it is too much, I will have to deal with what's happened. I'm not going to send anymore messages after this one, it's up to you now with what happens. Whatever happens, I hope you enjoy uni, and that everything goes great for you in the future." Do you think this is too much too soon, and that I should wait until she reaches out to me? If she reaches out to me... Deep down I know I want her back, but the more important thing is that she's happy. I just don't want her to hate me, thats all. If you have any tips with how to get more chance of being forgiven, I will be very grateful. Link to post Share on other sites
pidgeon1010 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Cringing, please don't send. Move on. Being unblocked is not leeway to resume your messages, that annoyed her in the past. Also stop tracking her every move on social media. You'll never move forward. If she wants you back, she'll reach out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Best thing to do is absolutely nothing. she just unblocked you and you're ready to get going on the messaging once again. You say you've changed, but you haven't. It takes time. You said in your other thread that you apologized and now you want to apologize again. You really want a possible shot with her again? It's going to have to happen months down the road and first start by her initiating something on her end, not you. If she never contacts you again, so be it. In a few months you may realize that you found someone better out there. I know you can't see it now, but in time you will. Right now it is too soon and you should set a goal of 60 days NC. No social media, nothing. Contacting her at all will show her that you haven't changed and push her away for good. One more thing. That text was awful. Please never send anything like that to a woman. You also said this in there "I don't know whether I'm doing the right thing in apoligising". Well, that just negated the apology right there. Go ahead and write down whatever you feel. Whatever you want to say to her and save it away on your computer in a folder you can look back on in 30 days, but NEVER send it. I learned that the hard way, just as many have on here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author supermaddud Posted September 16, 2015 Author Share Posted September 16, 2015 Thank you both for the advice. I've been debating whether to send it or not and I'm glad I asked here first Link to post Share on other sites
Chillaxinchick Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I think you're tempted to texted her because it gives you a sense of relief and it makes you feel better. I must agree...JUST DON'T DO IT! Leave well enough alone and perhaps with time you can make a mends. Give her space and time. If you smother her...I can almost guarantee you she will bail again. Good luck and work on healing yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
warshaw Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 That's one of the lamest texts I've ever read, it will accomplish nothing positive for you. Remain silent. If she wants back in she knows how to find you. Better yet, block her and move on with your life, but you won't, you can't. Link to post Share on other sites
kevin smithy Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 A few months ago me and my ex broke up due to fighting and my own insecurities. After the breakup I constantly annoyed her with text messages, something that was wrong of me and I wish I had the hindsight to see that that was wrong. She eventually blocked me on Facebook a month ago, something that I believe was the right thing to do. Shes unblocked me recently, but hasn't sent me a message or anything like that. I am unsure as to whether I should send this message asking her to forgive me or not. She is going to uni next week too, and I'm scared that there's nothing that I can do now. "I don't know when or why you unblocked me, but I hope it's been long enough now that I can properly apologise. I think you did the right thing in blocking me, the way I was acting was ridiculous, it's taken me some time to truly realise that and I have no excuses. I hope we can put it behind us but if it's too soon then that's okay, and I really mean that. I don't know whether I'm doing the right thing in apoligising but I always feel that if I have done someone wrong then I must try. I'm not trying to guilt trip you, or play games or anything like that, I really do mean it when I say I'm sorry. Please forgive me, but if it is too much, I will have to deal with what's happened. I'm not going to send anymore messages after this one, it's up to you now with what happens. Whatever happens, I hope you enjoy uni, and that everything goes great for you in the future." Do you think this is too much too soon, and that I should wait until she reaches out to me? If she reaches out to me... Deep down I know I want her back, but the more important thing is that she's happy. I just don't want her to hate me, thats all. If you have any tips with how to get more chance of being forgiven, I will be very grateful. Dont ever message her. i know its tough but dont ever do that. go and read the N.C post. If she wants to be a part of your life and really want to be with you, it only takes a message or call from her. so dont contact her, move on slowly day by day. better will come. Link to post Share on other sites
beanie66f Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Definitely do not send it. I don't know how you would know if you were unblocked if you weren't still stalking her. (not stalking but i don't know what right adjective is) Link to post Share on other sites
Author supermaddud Posted September 17, 2015 Author Share Posted September 17, 2015 The reason I noticed I was unblocked was because I could see her actual name on facebook messenger (it was just "facebook user" which I thought was a bit odd, so I looked and I have the ability to send a message whereas before there wouldn't be a message box. She's still quite high up in my message list, I haven't been able to delete our texts yet. Does anybody have any idea as to why she would unblock me? I'm not hoping for much, but I feel like it's strange she would do after how I was acting. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 The reason I noticed I was unblocked was because I could see her actual name on facebook messenger (it was just "facebook user" which I thought was a bit odd, so I looked and I have the ability to send a message whereas before there wouldn't be a message box. She's still quite high up in my message list, I haven't been able to delete our texts yet. Does anybody have any idea as to why she would unblock me? I'm not hoping for much, but I feel like it's strange she would do after how I was acting. What does it matter? Maybe she wanted to check to see if you were doing ok, maybe she wanted an ego boost, maybe she just doesn't care anymore and is fine with seeing your statuses. Either way, asking questions like this is completely counterproductive and a waste of your time. Concentrate on yourself and stop trying to solve the puzzle of her mind. It's pointless. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Deleting Fb is an option. Taken up by many dumpees, I don't know of a single one who came back regretting it. And those who argue "Oh I can't I need it for *this that and the other* - remember: "This that and the other" almost certainly existed before Fb was introduced. My parents never had facebook, and they met, (across continents) married and stayed together for 57 years without even going near the place..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author supermaddud Posted September 17, 2015 Author Share Posted September 17, 2015 Thanks guys, I suppose break ups are something everybody has to deal with at some point. Doesnt make it any easier though. Maybe in the future she will be open for trying again, but it will have to be in quite a while. Thanks for talking me out of sending that message, I would have regretted it. Link to post Share on other sites
nadine5 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 If you're going to text her, PLEASE don't text her THAT! "Hey, just saw _____ (movie or video game or something that reminds you of her). Reminds me of the time we _____." Much more effective. Link to post Share on other sites
Author supermaddud Posted September 17, 2015 Author Share Posted September 17, 2015 If you're going to text her, PLEASE don't text her THAT! "Hey, just saw _____ (movie or video game or something that reminds you of her). Reminds me of the time we _____." Much more effective. Yeah looking back on it, it does seem like quite a heavy text to send someone after not speaking for a while. Im just going to leave it at nc for a bit longer, I don't want to rush into speaking to her for her to just pull away again. Shes a very decisive person so I just hope she can move on from our past relationship and hopefully reconcile but I need to give her space to do that. Edit: By decisive I mean like stubborn but I feel that isn't the correct word to use in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
nadine5 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Yeah looking back on it, it does seem like quite a heavy text to send someone after not speaking for a while. Im just going to leave it at nc for a bit longer, I don't want to rush into speaking to her for her to just pull away again. Shes a very decisive person so I just hope she can move on from our past relationship and hopefully reconcile but I need to give her space to do that. Edit: By decisive I mean like stubborn but I feel that isn't the correct word to use in this situation. Also, if you alert her to the fact that you KNOW you were unblocked, she will be wise to the fact that you're constantly checking her Facebook page, and that's a huge turn off (even though I do the same thing NC is a good idea for awhile. When and if you do decide to contact her, please just be cool, friendly, positive. Don't bring up the relationship at all. Cut off the convo before she does. Make sure it's short. Link to post Share on other sites
Author supermaddud Posted September 18, 2015 Author Share Posted September 18, 2015 I just need to be patient really. Maybe in a few months I won't even be thinking about her. Link to post Share on other sites
theredpill Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Haven't read anything but the first post OP - please listen to what everyone has probably said, which is FFS don't send anything. Take time out to grow, I've had like one argument in 3 relationships - men don't argue, they handle these situations. Take time to improve yourself, watch some YouTube video's on self control and never argue with a woman again, you've lost before you start and it only takes 1 person to stop an argument. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts