! I don't know how to do this!

[lovenettesgirls]

Hi all! I am seeking help to understand my role in my LDR. We met online. Talked for 3 months. He came to visit me for 3 months. I stayed with him for a week. Now I am home alone. I get lost with my thoughts about not being able to see his face, turning over in bed and he isn't there, and mostly not having physical touch. How do I balance my feelings? It's like, I feel myself pushing him out of my heart in hopes that I won't miss or long for him. I want him, I just don't know how to do this! I have never done this before, and am now thinking this is why I haven't.........HELP

[Tiger Lily]

Your role in your relationship is very dependent on who each of you are. In general, you're a support to your partner. But in an LDR, the heavy focus is on emotional support (obviously, direct physical contact isn't possible). I think a main priority is patience with each other, and the ability to be trustworthy.

 

Regarding your anxiety with the arrangement, one solution might be to not do the LDR thing...move closer to each other . Unfortunately, there's probably a good reason this hasn't happened yet. What is stopping you two?

 

Otherwise, you may have to learn coping skills to help with anxiety in the meantime. As an adult, we all have to learn to deal with unpleasant situations. Some people have a hobby, others exercise, others join groups, get second jobs, take a college class, go shopping, etc. etc. What are some ways you might use to cope with stressful situations?

 

If the above doesn't appeal to you, an LDR might not be right for you.

 

Best of luck!

[Lois_Griffin]

Welcome to the futility of a long distance relationship.

 

If neither one of you has plans in the next year or two to actually live where the other resides, is all this hell really worth it?