Dahlia6 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 (edited) So, I don't normally like to post on these types of sites, because I figure everyone has problems, so who wants to listen to mine? But, I am having a tough time with everything that is going on so I thought I'd give it a try... My husband and I have been together since we were 16 (now 30) and we have been married for almost 6 years. We get along great, have similar interests, get along with each others families...its all good. BUT he struggles with anxiety and depression (probably his whole life and just didn't realize it until he got older). This takes a huge toll on our relationship. He has been on various med's and is on some now, but nothing really seems to work. Over the last few years he has become super detached from me and many of his close friends and family. He has expressed that he can never think back to a time that he was truly happy, ever. And that he doesn't think he even knows how to fully love someone the way they deserve. He has also decided that he doesn't want children (I would like at least one), because he doesn't want them to be screwed up like him. He has stated that he loves me but is not in love with me and that he does not want to waste my life and the possibility of me having kids and thinks it would be best to divorce (he has brought this up many times in the last 3 or so years and we have tried to work on it and briefly tried counseling). I agree with this because there is really no compromise to the situation and his anxiety/depression issues really take a toll on my own happiness. Plus I want to be with someone who loves me as I do them. BUT I can't shake this feeling that he just doesn't know what he wants and is going to regret things later. If he didn't have the issues he did, it would make things so much more clear-cut. I am still totally in love with him, so maybe I am just grasping for any kind of hope? We decided to stay living together in our home until we can sell it and gradually make the split, so last night we were cleaning out some junk in preparation. He got very emotional which I did not expect, since after all, this is what he wants. We talked for a long time and he still feels this is best, but he then made a comment that who knows what the future brings and that if we are meant to be together after all, then 5, 10, 20 years from now maybe we will be. This messed with my head big time! I know I deserve happiness (as does he) and want to feel wanted by my partner (which he apparently cannot give me). I just can't help to think, what if he just figured out his issues? But maybe he can't... Anyones else going through a similar situation? So confusing... Edited September 17, 2015 by Dahlia6 hit save by accident!! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Suggest marriage counseling. Him divorcing you will not improve his life but he probably can't see that right now. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 He has stated that he loves me but is not in love with me That's cheater textbook. You should really believe your husband and not waste another day with him. Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 14 years with the same person is a long time. If you don't have children with him, I think you should leave him. He's never going to change unless he makes the decision to. Link to post Share on other sites
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