I regret breaking up with my ex boyfriend?

[xoxoheather]

Ever since breaking up with him I have felt an immense amount of regret. I just can't believe I threw away our 2.5 year relationship. He loved me with everything he had and I just threw it away. I can't believe I was so stupid to break up with him.

 

I broke up with him out of the blue about 4 months ago because I was confused and felt claustrophobic in the relationship. His family told me they had never seen him so upset. A few days after the breakup I told him I made a mistake but the damage was done. He suggested we go on a "break" so I could sort myself out but that didn't last very long. After a month he had already found a new girlfriend. I still can't believe he replaced me so quickly.

 

I haven't heard from him in 3 months but I have been missing him like crazy. I can't stand seeing him so happy on social media with his new girlfriend. I am still crying over him almost every day. I can't help but feel like I made the biggest mistake. Deep down I know he wasn't "the one" but now I feel so stupid for breaking up with an amazing guy. The pain is even worse now that he has moved on. It's like I never existed and we never happened.

 

I have been trying to date but have had no luck. I haven't met anyone I have a meaningful connection with. It feels like I am destined to be alone at this point.

 

Have any of you ever regretted a breakup? How did you get over it? Right now it feels like I'm never going to get through this...

[CT98]

Ever since breaking up with him I have felt an immense amount of regret. I just can't believe I threw away our 2.5 year relationship. He loved me with everything he had and I just threw it away. I can't believe I was so stupid to break up with him.

 

I broke up with him out of the blue about 4 months ago because I was confused and felt claustrophobic in the relationship. His family told me they had never seen him so upset. A few days after the breakup I told him I made a mistake but the damage was done. He suggested we go on a "break" so I could sort myself out but that didn't last very long. After a month he had already found a new girlfriend. I still can't believe he replaced me so quickly.

 

I haven't heard from him in 3 months but I have been missing him like crazy. I can't stand seeing him so happy on social media with his new girlfriend. I am still crying over him almost every day. I can't help but feel like I made the biggest mistake. Deep down I know he wasn't "the one" but now I feel so stupid for breaking up with an amazing guy. The pain is even worse now that he has moved on. It's like I never existed and we never happened.

 

I have been trying to date but have had no luck. I haven't met anyone I have a meaningful connection with. It feels like I am destined to be alone at this point.

 

Have any of you ever regretted a breakup? How did you get over it? Right now it feels like I'm never going to get through this...

 

This is the important thing here.

 

Yeah it's horrible breaking up with someone even if you know they're not the one you're going to spend the rest of your life with.

 

I think you're just jealous of his new girlfriend. That's fine and perfectly natural. But try to be mature about it and realise that you weren't going to marry him anyway.

 

Give it a little bit of time, and a new love interest and you're going to feel dandy.

[drseuss]

That is a horrible situation to be in but sadly the only advice i think anyone on here can give is you need to learn from this.

 

You did this to yourself , he has now moved on and probaly wont want you back for rejecting him when , as you say , things were ok

 

Next time speak about how you feel , you should talk to your partner if you feel there are issues in your rs. perhaps you took him for granted and thought you could drop him and have him back if you changed your mind.

 

You also have to ask yourself how invested he truly was to you if he was able to jump into a new r/s , could always be a "rebound" but i dont think rebounds are like people say , if two people meet and they work a rs can be developed

[Christos]

First things first: There is no such thing as "the one". Deep down, we are all the same. And we can pair with anyone, as long as we aren't spoiled brats and care to make the effort required to build a healthy relationship.

 

You made a terrible mistake of breaking up with someone who loved you. You NEVER do that. Love is HARD TO FIND. When someone is treating you right, and loves you, and you have history with that person, you don't just throw it away because you have GIGS or you are "confused". You talk, you express your situation clearly without fear, and work on the issue. You just took the easy way out, thinking that you will find better.

 

And i don't think you loved him. You are just envious he replaced you easily, and you are in no position to do the same thing. Obviously, being a woman, you can easily get a few good looking men to have sex, but love you like your ex and commit to you? Good luck...

 

I don't know about your age, but in any case, you won't forget this easily. If you are really lucky, you will find another man to love you and treat you right. When this happens, don't ever dumb him. Don't make the same mistake twice.

 

Still, you have to experience the pain now. You 've earned it.

Edited September 17, 2015 by Christos

[Christos]

And another thing: I noticed in another thread that you mentioned "cheating on him". Well, you didn't specify him, but it is obvious you meant this guy. Why you never mentioned it here?

 

We both know why...

 

You reap what you sow...

[mightycpa]

Deep down I know he wasn't "the one"

they why bother getting back together when you already know how it's going to turn out?

 

Go find another amazing guy. Yes, you're going to run into some toads, but as they say, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.

 

So pucker up and get out there. Leave your past in the past.

[xoxoheather]

And another thing: I noticed in another thread that you mentioned "cheating on him". Well, you didn't specify him, but it is obvious you meant this guy. Why you never mentioned it here?

 

We both know why...

 

You reap what you sow...

Because I never told him I kissed another guy, so I didn't think it was relevant.

[Christos]

Because I never told him I kissed another guy, so I didn't think it was relevant.

 

This gets better...

 

So, in modern woman language, "confused" means i kissed/had sex with another? Nice, i always like to learn something new...

 

And yet, your problem is that after a month of YOU breaking up with him, he found another girlfriend? Seriously? Even though you were the cheater? Hilarious.

 

You don't love that guy. It is obvious. Your only issue is that he moved on, probably with a prettier woman than you, and that hurts. While you can't seem to find someone of equal worth to him who will be willing to commit to you and treat you at least the same as your ex.

 

A lesson to learn: The grass is no greener at the other side, it is an illusion and you are a fool if you let your own grass become barren...

[EO422]

First things first: There is no such thing as "the one". Deep down, we are all the same. And we can pair with anyone, as long as we aren't spoiled brats and care to make the effort required to build a healthy relationship.

 

You made a terrible mistake of breaking up with someone who loved you. You NEVER do that. Love is HARD TO FIND. When someone is treating you right, and loves you, and you have history with that person, you don't just throw it away because you have GIGS or you are "confused". You talk, you express your situation clearly without fear, and work on the issue. You just took the easy way out, thinking that you will find better.

 

And i don't think you loved him. You are just envious he replaced you easily, and you are in no position to do the same thing. Obviously, being a woman, you can easily get a few good looking men to have sex, but love you like your ex and commit to you? Good luck...

 

I don't know about your age, but in any case, you won't forget this easily. If you are really lucky, you will find another man to love you and treat you right. When this happens, don't ever dumb him. Don't make the same mistake twice.

 

Still, you have to experience the pain now. You 've earned it.

 

OKAY, calm down here. she already feels bad. No need to dig it deeper into her. You were right with the informaion you gave! No need to be so harsh tho!

 

Listen, there is never "the one" that is not true. We can love multiple people. Life is not a movie or a fairytale. You need to realize that feeling in relationships come and go. sometimes you will feel amazing, and sometimes its like something is just gone. It is not a reason to go and leave them though. relationships have ups and downs in every aspect, including emotions.

 

Instead, try and look at this in a positive way. Everything happens for a reason. what did you take away from this experience lets see:

 

1. Love is not just all about emotions

2. You realized you made a mistake(this is good, it means you are growing and learning)

3. There is no "the one"

4. You will be more well equipped for your next relationship

 

I am missing some things, i just gave you a quick overview...look at this in a positive way. It hurts right now, but soon you will think logically about it.

 

I am sure you are young, my gf did the same thing to me. You were young, made a mistake and learned from it.

 

EVERYTHING happens for a reason. You will grow from this now. Your next relationship will be that much better now. We need these experiences to happen to us to learn it! keep your head up, and you will heal in time!

[xoxoheather]

This gets better...

 

So, in modern woman language, "confused" means i kissed/had sex with another? Nice, i always like to learn something new...

 

And yet, your problem is that after a month of YOU breaking up with him, he found another girlfriend? Seriously? Even though you were the cheater? Hilarious.

 

You don't love that guy. It is obvious. Your only issue is that he moved on, probably with a prettier woman than you, and that hurts. While you can't seem to find someone of equal worth to him who will be willing to commit to you and treat you at least the same as your ex.

 

A lesson to learn: The grass is no greener at the other side, it is an illusion and you are a fool if you let your own grass become barren...

I hope you realize I was feeling confused for months before the breakup, long before that guy ever kissed me. I felt a sense of regret after I broke up with him, not after he moved on.

[drseuss]

It's ok to feel regret after leaving someone , fearing you've made a mistake and won't find anyone as good

 

But I think you will , accept it's over and you did it because you wanted t so trust your judgment and move on , he has

[stillafool]

I think you should stop snooping on your ex and viewing pictures of him and his new girl. This will keep you in pain. You have to pretend he's dead and move on to get over him. Good luck.

[MINDSHIFT]

This gets better...

 

So, in modern woman language, "confused" means i kissed/had sex with another? Nice, i always like to learn something new...

 

And yet, your problem is that after a month of YOU breaking up with him, he found another girlfriend? Seriously? Even though you were the cheater? Hilarious.

 

You don't love that guy. It is obvious. Your only issue is that he moved on, probably with a prettier woman than you, and that hurts. While you can't seem to find someone of equal worth to him who will be willing to commit to you and treat you at least the same as your ex.

 

A lesson to learn: The grass is no greener at the other side, it is an illusion and you are a fool if you let your own grass become barren...

 

 

Well written. Her problem is not losing him. She was expecting the guy to be down and out depressed over her. Guess what he moved on, and good for him. I hope he nver looks back. Teach you for taken someone for granted. Next time you will work out your problems not drop him and expect him to wait around.

[xoxoheather]

Wow some of you are so mean...

[runredlights]

How did you manage to stop at just making out when you cheated on your ex boyfriend?

[Draper]

It's not that anybody is trying to be mean. Look at this forum - a pretty big portion are topics in here are men who's girlfriends up and left them for no obvious reason (or one such as GIGS, etc).

 

My point is, we know how your ex felt when you left and we sympathize with him. I know do, anyways. And honestly, if you cheated on him then I feel pretty minimal sympathy for you. It sucks that you regret it but you made your bed. When you broke up with him, you should have known there was a chance he'd never look back.

 

I just hope you learn something from it - love doesn't come easy and maybe in the future you need to be more careful before you discard it

[Christos]

Wow some of you are so mean...

 

No. We are NOT. We actually are good, honest, morally sound men. Most of us are here because we loved a woman like YOU, who treated us like ****, and then cheated on us and dumbed us like trash. And since we know the pain, we can sympathize with your ex, and say he is lucky he managed to get over you so quickly. He is a hero to us all.

 

You are an example to avoid...

 

And no, i am not mean because i am not willing to support a cheater and a betrayer of love, like yourself.

Edited September 17, 2015 by Christos

[Nolan 93]

Wow some of you are so mean...

 

You have to take into consideration most of us have been dumped by the ones we truly loved.

 

You are a dumper, one who dumped someone for your own needs but then realized it was a bad choice.

 

Of course you are going to get negative answers from other posters. Cause they have been on the dumpee side and understand how it feels.

 

Just have to live with regret for right now and with time you will move on and in the end will be better off.

[PaperCrane]

Wow some of you are so mean...

 

Well, I guess walking into a group of people primarily consisting of individuals in pain over the action you just went through with...doesn't really offer much sympathy.

 

What you can take away from this is, is that what you're seeing here is the anger and the pain and heartache that you put onto someone because of a rash impulse judgement.

 

Learning to think about consequences and how your actions might affect someone else will go a long way in making yourself happy as well.

 

Often we fixate on one thing when we feel distressed and we think getting rid of that thing will fix it, instead of looking inwards for answers.

 

Do what's best for both of you and block everything. Spend some time focusing on making yourself a better and more perceptive person.

 

Best of luck.

[Diezel]

Wow some of you are so mean...

 

You wanted sympathy? That's all?

 

First thing that came to mind when I read this thread was: Whose the other guy you broke up with him for?

 

Sure enough, dominoes fell into place.

 

Now that your ex is happy, you can't stand it at all.

 

Should have thought of that before GIGS... I mean claustrophobia started kicking in.

[EO422]

It is true. We have all felt enormous pain from this. Just learn from this. Some people may be harsh. But like everyone said, everyone here is dealing with exactly what you did. So they will reply in anger...

 

In reality though, this forum is for everyone. There should not be any judgment. People come here for help. No one should be ganging up and getting angry. She is reaching out for help and advice. Not to get smacked by everyone. She knows what she did. We should be fair, and give her the correct advice and what to do. Not go out of anger and reply to her. We don't know her. It is unfair to be angry/upset with her. She is reaching out. Let's be respectful

 

YES. I am hurt by my gf and how she dumped me. I am mad at her. But you cannot or should not lash out at other people, especially now that this girl is reaching out to try and find ways to fix or Cope with her loss. Let's be respectful!!

Edited September 17, 2015 by EO422

[MINDSHIFT]

I broke up with him out of the blue about 4 months ago because I was confused and felt claustrophobic in the relationship.

 

After a month he had already found a new girlfriend. I still can't believe he replaced me so quickly.

 

I haven't heard from him in 3 months but I have been missing him like crazy. I can't stand seeing him so happy on social media with his new girlfriend. I am still crying over him almost every day. I can't help but feel like I made the biggest mistake. Deep down I know he wasn't "the one" but now I feel so stupid for breaking up with an amazing guy. The pain is even worse now that he has moved on. It's like I never existed and we never happened.

 

I have been trying to date but have had no luck. I haven't met anyone I have a meaningful connection with. It feels like I am destined to be alone at this point.

 

Your ex is a legend.

 

She gets no sympathy, the op is very selfish. Im going through a hard time so might be biased but she needs a reality check.

 

Her main concern are herself, she has not found anybody or nobody wants her. Either way how dare you expect him not to move own.

 

the op has the cheek to write "Deep down I know he wasn't "the one". So WHY DO YOU WANT HIM. So you can leave him again when your "claustrophobic". Thats code for experiment on other men dicks.

 

Damm right learn from this!!

 

3 months you aint heard from him (he my hero) he living life and hopeful found a girl who is the one.

 

Move on and leave him the hell alone.

[Tobin]

First things first: There is no such thing as "the one".

 

There may not be such a thing as "the one" but there certainly is such a thing as "not the one". If you don't click, if you dont have the chemistry, if you don't have enough in common, it's just not going to work.

 

Deep down, we are all the same. And we can pair with anyone

 

That's ridiculous, we cannot pair with anyone. As I said you need chemistry, communication, similar interests, sexual compatibility, and countless other factors to make it work.

 

You made a terrible mistake of breaking up with someone who loved you. You NEVER do that.

 

You should never break up with someone who loves you? Even if you don't love them, or if they're a drug addict or they're abusive, etc.

 

Again, this is ridiculous as well. The love- and compatibility- and a host of other factors need to be in place for a relationship to work. One way love is not nearly enough.

[Tobin]

Wow some of you are so mean...

 

It's a den of wolves here. Most of the posters who are responding have been dumped and or cheated on. They're going to identify with your exboyfriend and they're going to flame you far more than the situation warrants.

 

This forum really isn't a good place for dumpers or cheaters. Expect a lot of backlash.

[EO422]

There may not be such a thing as "the one" but there certainly is such a thing as "not the one". If you don't click, if you dont have the chemistry, if you don't have enough in common, it's just not going to work.

 

 

 

That's ridiculous, we cannot pair with anyone. As I said you need chemistry, communication, similar interests, sexual compatibility, and countless other factors to make it work.

 

 

 

You should never break up with someone who loves you? Even if you don't love them, or if they're a drug addict or they're abusive, etc.

 

Again, this is ridiculous as well. The love- and compatibility- and a host of other factors need to be in place for a relationship to work. One way love is not nearly enough.

 

 

 

Very well put!!