Tess Posted March 25, 2001 Share Posted March 25, 2001 If you married someone and someone turned out to be the world's worst lover? What then? Yes,I realize that relationships are based on love..but what separates are best friend from a lover? the sexual connection.. Can you honestly say you would stick with someone who was horrible in bed?? Link to post Share on other sites
JustAGirl Posted March 25, 2001 Share Posted March 25, 2001 " but what separates are best friend from a lover? the sexual connection.. " I dunna, is that it?... Link to post Share on other sites
sparkle Posted March 25, 2001 Share Posted March 25, 2001 If I married someone, it would have to be someone very special to me, and someone I got along with well. So most likely, my communication with him would be open and wonderful. So if he was horrible in bed, I'd tell him exactly what I enjoyed and what I didn't like. What felt good, what positions I preferred, where I wanted him to touch me, how to, etc. I think if you like someone enough to marry them, you should feel comfortable talking about these things. If you don't, you're either not with the right person or you aren't the right person. Once I'd show/tell my husband what I liked in bed, then I truly believe that practice makes perfect. Well at least he'd become much better than he might've been initially. You can't just expect a guy to be an amazing lover without you making any effort at all. Yeah you might luck out and marry a guy that's totally experienced and knows exactly what to do. But more likely, you have to do your part to help him by telling him your needs and desires. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 25, 2001 Share Posted March 25, 2001 Before it could be determined that someone is the world's worst lover, you would have to sleep with every male or female (depending on which sex you prefer) forever, literally. And then it's a pretty subjective thing. I mean there could be several million world's worst lovers...and probably are. Now, if you are talking about marrying someone who doesn't do it for you in the bedroom, remember it takes two to have sex. Both partners work in tandem to please each other. Both JustAGirl and sparkle gave some pretty good angles on this question. There are just so many hundreds of ways to achieve sexual satisfaction that I would have to think that two people could find a number of them that would work...that is, unless your partner is without genitals or is severely physically challenged. There are multitudes of books, tapes, etc. with step-by-step instructions. And if your partner is really sorry in the sex department, it can't get anything but better. So many times, the sex is absolutely terrific but the couple may have even more serious problems in other areas of the marriage. If the sex starts out bad, just think of it as a TV Quiz Show. With each act, starting out with the most basic sexual experience, you go up one tier...until one day you hit the jackpot!!! Hopefully, you can do it without using up all your lifelines. Even physically challenged persons find ways of having excellent sex. So I suppose to have really bad sex, your partner would have to be devoid of genitalia, in which case you could have the marriage annulled...like it never happened. That happened to Barbie and Ken, you know...no genitalia. While I'm here, I may as well tell you that just because someone is great in the sex department before marriage is no guarantee that will carry over into marriage. Sex is an important part of a relationship but can often produce the most difficulties. But it can work out. Link to post Share on other sites
Tess Posted March 25, 2001 Share Posted March 25, 2001 You have alots of good points,but from what i know a LOT of marriages fall apart once the sex falls apart (i.e.after kids there isn't always a LOT of sex happening...) And this is in cases where the sex WAS good in the first place. I think it would be nearly impossible to maintain a relationship with someone who couldn't satisfy me.I'm not saying that trying to be shallow or greedy,but truthfully it would be extremely frustrating if I was married to someone who was just lousy in bed.I don't mean to say that personality doesn't count (99% of the time you spend with this person you will NOT be having sex),but you can't agrgue that sex isn't extremely important ---------------------------------------------------------- If I married someone, it would have to be someone very special to me, and someone I got along with well. So most likely, my communication with him would be open and wonderful. So if he was horrible in bed, I'd tell him exactly what I enjoyed and what I didn't like. What felt good, what positions I preferred, where I wanted him to touch me, how to, etc. I think if you like someone enough to marry them, you should feel comfortable talking about these things. If you don't, you're either not with the right person or you aren't the right person. Once I'd show/tell my husband what I liked in bed, then I truly believe that practice makes perfect. Well at least he'd become much better than he might've been initially. You can't just expect a guy to be an amazing lover without you making any effort at all. Yeah you might luck out and marry a guy that's totally experienced and knows exactly what to do. But more likely, you have to do your part to help him by telling him your needs and desires. Link to post Share on other sites
unnamed Posted March 25, 2001 Share Posted March 25, 2001 Sex does not have to be an essential component to a relationship, or a good relationship for that matter. Not staying with someone for their sexual output is shallow, and would mean that you never did love them. Oh, and by the way, sex is NOT the only thing that seperates a lover and a best friend. Obviously you have never fallen in love. Link to post Share on other sites
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