He says I raped him.

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by billybadass36

In a hyper-technical sense, maybe, but I doubt it. She facilitated the whole thing and had the wherewithall to kick out the other passed out guy, lock the door behind her and wake up her passed-out drunk ex-bf so she could get off. My argument - had he wanted to have sex with her, he wouldn't have broken up with her; he wouldn't have drunk himself into oblivion; he wouldn't have passed out in his bed ALONE; he wouldn't have closed the door behind him when he went into his bed to pass out ALONE; he wouldn't have allowed another guy to pass out in his room with him, etc.

 

This is just another example of the woman being played as the victim on this board. It's getting rather tiresome. We love to make men always accountable for their actions and you folks constantly remind us of that, yet women are somehow less accountable for theirs.

 

if she had said " i forced my boyfriend into a room and had sex with him while he was unconscious" we would all agree it was rape.

 

this is not what happened.

 

people have sex with exes, so that's irrelevant. drinking yourself into oblivion doesn't mean you don't want to have sex, this is also irrelevant. in fact, i know many people who have more sex more fequently when drunk because they have lowered inhibitions. heck, some even get drunk and have sex with their exes. hmmmm. of course he would close the door when he went to sleep, that's what people do. there were other people in the house. he didn't want the party in his room. this is natural. who knows why the other guy passed in his room? maybe he didn't even know he was there. he obviously wasn't thinking clearly. not to mention, when people are drunk, they care a lot less about certain things when they have sex...like other people in the room.

 

if you think he was so drunk that he couldn't think for himself, then he certainly wasn't thinking, "i am going to shut the door of my room because i don't want my ex to come in."

 

 

he participated in the act. she woke him, he WAS awake. she did not "facilitate" the whole thing. he WENT DOWN ON HER. he got on top and screwed her for part of it. he inititiated the second act. she did not force him.

 

they both maybe made some bad, intoxicated decisions, but this is not rape, and you can't make it seem like it is because you're bitter against women always accusing men.

 

which also makes another point...when a woman says she is raped, and the guy says "she got on top of me and did half the work, we were both drunk and it's all a little fuzzy, but if she told me to stop i would have" this girl would have a heck of a time proving rape. it happens. and then that girl gets called a liar. so, any way that you're arguing it, the opposite could be true. if a woman shouldn't lie about rape, neither should a man.

[IhavenoFREAKINclue]

Originally posted by tiki

Funny that he 'came' even though he was 'raped'. This guy is F.O.S.

 

I second that! But its a he said she said situation. And why is HE the one complaining...he got laid....

 

Seems to me that you had a drunken encounter. He prolly told his friends that he was done with you and then you have sex so he went back and told his friends that the only reason how it happened was the he was so inebriated he didn't know what happened. Just to keep his friends off his back! Are you just worried about your reputation or are there charges being brought onto you? If its serious, the i think you need to take into consideration the consequences. But if its all a bunch of BS (which it seems like he's BSing) then tell people that he went flaccid 2 minutes in and then threw up on himself!

[tokyo]

Originally posted by billybadass36

In the jurisdiction that I live and practice law in, these claims are made and successfully prosecuted by countless young women in college who are victimized by men who get them drunk and do naughty things to them. At the time, the women are generally active participants in the sexual activity and appear to be sharing in the decision to have sex and the activity itself, but their intoxication prevents them from having the LEGAL capacity to consent. Whether you agree with it or not, if this happened in the US, it's probably considered date rape.

If it's considered rape, because the "victim" was to drunk and therefore mentally incapacitated to make a deliberate decision if it wanted to have sex or not, then how can a drunk rapist ever be charged with having committed a crime? He must have been mentally incapacitated as well. How can being drunk equated with being mentally incapacitated? If that was a true, then next time I get drunk I will rob a bank and when I'm unlucky and get caught I will tell them I was mentally incapacitated.

 

 

Originally posted by billybadass36

 

 

In a hyper-technical sense, maybe, but I doubt it. She facilitated the whole thing and had the wherewithall to kick out the other passed out guy, lock the door behind her and wake up her passed-out drunk ex-bf so she could get off. My argument - had he wanted to have sex with her, he wouldn't have broken up with her; he wouldn't have drunk himself into oblivion; he wouldn't have passed out in his bed ALONE; he wouldn't have closed the door behind him when he went into his bed to pass out ALONE; he wouldn't have allowed another guy to pass out in his room with him, etc.

Since when is it so uncommon that people break up with their partners and still go back to sleep with them??

 

This is just another example of the woman being played as the victim on this board. It's getting rather tiresome. We love to make men always accountable for their actions and you folks constantly remind us of that, yet women are somehow less accountable for theirs.

Please, that sounds a bit bitter.

 

You know more about this legal stuff than I do, I'm also not really knowledgeable about American law, but personally I don't think this law makes a lot of sense. Women should not have the right to accuse anybody of rape, just because they changed their mind the next day. If she didn't say no once and if they both took physical pleasure in the sexual act then it's just sex between two consenting adults. Call this here date rape if you want, but I think you're more getting worked up because a law is biased to one gender. I repeat, if the situation was reverse, I'd still not think it was rape. I'd think she was a sissy who suddenly had qualms and now was trying to give her ex-boyfriend a hard time. That's what it is and just because you feel a bit pissed off that law is not fair doesn't mean you have to accuse this original poster of rape, it just wasn't.

[Elmo]

Billybadass has the down low on this situation.

 

I am sickened by the drunken girls at Univ. who cry rape when they decide to eff when they are blitzed out of thier head by thier own choice.

 

This guy was raped as much as those dopey college girls that willingly drink 18 shots of Jaegar then give 18 guys bj's. Boo effin' hoo to all of them.

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue

I second that! But its a he said she said situation. And why is HE the one complaining...he got laid....

 

But if its all a bunch of BS (which it seems like he's BSing) then tell people that he went flaccid 2 minutes in and then threw up on himself!

 

 

:lmao: :lmao:

 

thanks, IHNFC.

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by Elmo

Billybadass has the down low on this situation.

 

I am sickened by the drunken girls at Univ. who cry rape when they decide to eff when they are blitzed out of thier head by thier own choice.

 

This guy was raped as much as those dopey college girls that willingly drink 18 shots of Jaegar then give 18 guys bj's. Boo effin' hoo to all of them.

 

you're just proving everyone else's point.

 

most people DO NOT agree that the kinds of girls you described are raped in this kind of situation, and so do not think this man was raped either.

 

just because more women seem to "come forward" about it does not mean that it is accepted by everyone as actual rape. i get just as annoyed with women who claim to be raped but really just regretted a decision that they did not want to be responsible for. so basically, you're indicating that girls lie about it, so guys should too...which furthur indicates you do not believe this was a true rape.

 

the same goes for this guy. if it was a rape situation, i would say put her in jail. but it wasn't. so boo effin' hoo to him too.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by kooky

If she didn't say no once and if they both took physical pleasure in the sexual act then it's just sex between two consenting adults.

 

I'll agree to the "no" part, but actually even if you say no, your body can respond to stimulation. This is true with children who are molested OR adult rape victims. I know this because of extensive therapy. The stimulation response isn't pleasure per se, but the victim can get wet/get an erection/ejaculate without consent. Young boys who are pubescent have this happen a lot when they are molested as well. Having your body respond to stimulation without your consent is traumatic in and of itself.

 

I'm just sayin.

[tokyo]

Originally posted by Elmo

Billybadass has the down low on this situation.

 

I am sickened by the drunken girls at Univ. who cry rape when they decide to eff when they are blitzed out of thier head by thier own choice.

 

This guy was raped as much as those dopey college girls that willingly drink 18 shots of Jaegar then give 18 guys bj's. Boo effin' hoo to all of them.

I don't see your point here. Nobody said these women were right. It's not the posters fault if the law is biased and they get through with it. If you just look at her case, then common sense tells you, it was not rape.

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by blind_otter

I'll agree to the "no" part, but actually even if you say no, your body can respond to stimulation. This is true with children who are molested OR adult rape victims. I know this because of extensive therapy. The stimulation response isn't pleasure per se, but the victim can get wet/get an erection/ejaculate without consent. Young boys who are pubescent have this happen a lot when they are molested as well. Having your body respond to stimulation without your consent is traumatic in and of itself.

 

I'm just sayin.

 

true, true...but children aren't held responsible for this kind of situation...and they don't initiate it. usually they are threatened with some kind of harm, whether bodily or familial. sick.

 

but i see what you're saying, i've heard that before too. a guy said a girl wasn't raped because the body wouldn't have produced wetness for the man to enter...even though she bruised and torn up and a mess.

 

good freakin' luck trying to prove something is rape when it isn't. you have a hard enough time when it really is.

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by kooky

I don't see your point here. Nobody said these women were right. It's not the posters fault if the law is biased and they get through with it. If you just look at her case, then common sense tells you, it was not rape.

 

thank you kooky, this is what i was trying to say in my post a minute ago, but used too many words.

[Jennifer'sSecret]

Originally posted by billybadass36

 

 

In a hyper-technical sense, maybe, but I doubt it. She facilitated the whole thing and had the wherewithall to kick out the other passed out guy, lock the door behind her and wake up her passed-out drunk ex-bf so she could get off. My argument - had he wanted to have sex with her, he wouldn't have broken up with her; he wouldn't have drunk himself into oblivion; he wouldn't have passed out in his bed ALONE; he wouldn't have closed the door behind him when he went into his bed to pass out ALONE; he wouldn't have allowed another guy to pass out in his room with him, etc.

 

This is just another example of the woman being played as the victim on this board. It's getting rather tiresome. We love to make men always accountable for their actions and you folks constantly remind us of that, yet women are somehow less accountable for theirs.

 

Billy, we're colleagues, and you're obviously an ADA and not a PD or civil atty, but I have to strongly disagree with you. This situation is utter and total BS. This scenario would NEVER be prosecuted in California, at least not in LA County. Specifically, you forgot about the mens rea element. If what you're saying would actually fly before a panel of 12, then every single person who regretfully has sex with an ex could be prosecuted. Remember, the guy said that had it been with any other girl, he wouldn't have had sex with her. So obviously, he made a conscious decision to CONSENT to have sex with her.

 

Further, you clearly don't read many threads on this board. The women are just as often, if not more often, held accountable for their BS as the men are.

[cherry7up]

So I'm still not sure what to do about my friend's dinner party. I *really* want to be there. On one hand, I feel that if I go, things might start to get a little less insane because he's going to have to realize what a puss puss he's being.

 

Or, if I go, will things just end up more complex? My friend has made it clear that it is VERY important to him that we are both there. :-/

[RecordProducer]

I have just two things to add:

 

One, it's not the same when a drunk man has sex that he regrets afterwards and when a woman is being beat the hell out of her, brutally raped, tied, threatened, while she cries, begs, and screams. Some people are trying to show that this is a woman's world, because of certain sexual and violence laws. It's not like men are sexual victims neglected by the law that supposedly favors women for no reason. It's not like women rape men all the time like men rape women every 4 min. I don't believe that any man has ever been raped. Perhaps there are some cases, but how many? Two in the last 30 years?

I would like someone to define male's rape for me in mental, physical, and legal terms.

So don't say "if the case was reverse" please! Many people seem to have a problem to accept the physical and mental differences between genders. If a man got sexually aroused and started kissing the girl and took his clothes off and then he said "no", but let her make love to him, it's not a rape. He can push her away, get up, and put his clothes on. Unless she is physically stronger than him and forced him to sex while he was defending himself with all his physical and vocal strength. If a woman put a gun on his head and said "Screw me or die!", it would be a rape.

 

And the other thing I wanted to say to the thread starter, I hope after this you won't contact your ex-BF ever again! I hope you have so much self-respect (like minimum) and not go where people accuse you of being a criminal and getting away with a rape. I can't believe he called the cops. I can't believe you're thinking about going to his party! How much humiliation can you possibly take? Do you think of yourself as a piece of sh*t?

[SexKitten]

it's just a dinner party, how important could it possibly be to your friend?

 

don't go and cause more drama you don't need. be the bigger person and refuse to go anywhere near this creep who accused you of rape.

 

even tell the host this is why, you have no desire to be around someone who lied so badly about you. i don't understand why you would want to be anyway. if i were you, i would be sickened at the thought of being anywhere near that bastard.

[cherry7up]

Yeah, well, the host is one of my BEST friends and also very close to my ex too. (The poor guy is completely stuck in the middle). The dinner party is a celebration for this talent show he does once a year and it' a HUGE deal for him, and I don't want to miss it.

 

But yeah, the idea of even being in the same room as my ex makes me sick to my stomach. But than again, why should I miss something so important to my friend just because my ex is a big fat coward?

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by cherry7up

Yeah, well, the host is one of my BEST friends and also very close to my ex too. (The poor guy is completely stuck in the middle). The dinner party is a celebration for this talent show he does once a year and it' a HUGE deal for him, and I don't want to miss it.

 

But yeah, the idea of even being in the same room as my ex makes me sick to my stomach. But than again, why should I miss something so important to my friend just because my ex is a big fat coward?

 

because you have a very serious situation going on right now that takes precedence over a talent show dinner party. he does it every year, you said, so missing it one year won't hurt.

 

i think you want to go so you can show your face around your ex, and i am telling you this is not a good idea. something is going to start, and your super-best friend's dinner party will be ruined and you will have more problems than you started with.

 

if it's your BEST friend, he will understand. if not, he's a jerk to think that his silly little dinner party is more important than your feelings. if he's just "close" to your ex and your BEST friend, he should be sticking up for you and asking your ex to maybe sit this one out.

 

but instead he insists you both be there? please.

[cherry7up]

Yeah part of it is that I want to be able to show my face around him. Thing is, we have a TON of mutual friends, and I dont' want to have to miss out on half my social life just because he's a ****head.

 

 

How could someone so kind turn into such a monster? :-(

[RecordProducer]

Originally posted by cherry7up

Yeah, well, the host is one of my BEST friends and also very close to my ex too.

But yeah, the idea of even being in the same room as my ex makes me sick to my stomach. But than again, why should I miss something so important to my friend just because my ex is a big fat coward?

 

Because YOU are more important than your "best" friend.

You either have very low self-esteem or are actually hot for your ex's ass. I would never show up at the same place where that bastard shows up.

By the way, if your ex is so traumatized by you, he shouldn't show up at the party. If I were raped by someone, I can't imagine going somewhere where he would be. The concept of the rape being condemned as felony is because of the emotional trauma. If he comes there, he will clearly prove that no trauma is involved, but only regretful feelings. Gosh, I regret I ever slept with my ex-husband. Do you think I could sue him for raping me?

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by RecordProducer

 

 

Because YOU are more important than your "best" friend.

You either have very low self-esteem or are actually hot for your ex's ass. I would never show up at the same place where that bastard shows up.

By the way, if your ex is so traumatized by you, he shouldn't show up at the party. If I were raped by someone, I can't imagine going somewhere where he would be. The concept of the rape being condemned as felony is because of the emotional trauma. If he comes there, he will clearly prove that no trauma is involved, but only regretful feelings. Gosh, I regret I ever slept with my ex-husband. Do you think I could sue him for raping me?

 

right on.

 

so then maybe she should go, to show she has nothing to be ashamed of? and it'll prove he's just a lying loser?

tough call.

 

but cherry, you're openly admitting that you just want to show your face around him. as the saying goes, don't be that guy.

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by billybadass36

The one after that - CSC Third degree (most likely to apply in this circumstance) - makes it a felony punishable by up to 15 years in prison if you have sexual penetration with a person you know or have reason to know is "mentally incapaable, mentally incapacitated, or physically helpless".

 

So does that mean its illegal to bang retarded chicks? Just curious..

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by tanbark813

 

 

So does that mean its illegal to bang retarded chicks? Just curious..

 

oh, tanbark....

 

 

you're in trouble.

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by SexKitten

oh, tanbark....

 

 

you're in trouble.

 

Hey, I just like to know what my options are.

[whichwayisup]

Originally posted by tanbark813

So does that mean its illegal to bang retarded chicks? Just curious..

 

Oh Tan...Yer bad...But very funny...yet so so bad...

[RecordProducer]

Originally posted by tanbark813

So does that mean its illegal to bang retarded chicks? Just curious..

 

It could be, easily, if she was not aware of what was going on, but not if she wanted it no matter how retarded she is. The difficluty of proving what really happened (by both sides) is another issue.

[tanbark813]

nm