EvieM Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 (edited) I recently moved to my partners home town for him but with the idea that we were both looking for other jobs in different places as well. We have been talking about getting married though and he has said that he has always dreamed of settling down in his home town and raising children near his own family. It is a small town and he likes this likes the country life and wants to save up for land. On the other hand I grew up in a city and feel a little trapped here. I have already turned down some job interviews which were far away so I could stay here longer. Although I can't say for sure I could get a great job somewhere else (I have struggled since leaving college) I still feel like it's limiting to have to be in this town. I do work here but in a low paid job not in the field I studied for. All my partners high school friends are still here so he is very settled but I don't completely enjoy just having to tag along with his family and friends. It feels like his life was already full established and I just got tacked on at the end rather than getting to have much influence. It also makes me sad to think that if we get married and have kids here I will always been far from my own family. I brought up the idea of living somewhere in between our families so it wasn't so long to travel but he said this would just mean neither of us is close to our family or friends. He has also said that he is worried that moving will mean giving up career opportunities. He works in a law firm and if he moved would have to start again with getting clients etc. He said he could give me a good life here as he thinks he is on track to being made partner one day. He would consider moving but I know he is reluctant. I also don't earn nearly has much as he does so it's not like I can even necessarily offer to shoulder more of the bills when we move. I think because of this he feels more pressure to provide for me but I don't necessarily expect that I just want more flexibility. I feel like it will get to the point where one of us has to choose between the relationship and work/moving. Am I being very selfish? It is all getting very tangled in my head right now. I don't mind being here for a while but I don't want to feel like marrying him means chaining myself to this town. Edited September 18, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs~ V Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 I brought up the idea of living somewhere in between our families so it wasn't so long to travel but he said this would just mean neither of us is close to our family or friends. How far apart are your two hometowns? Right now, practicality is on his side. He's got a good-paying job and is on track to progress in his career. With two incomes, could you afford a second/vacation home in your city? Regardless, you'll have to decide whether love or location is more important to you... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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