lostinlove0479 Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 I've been stifling over this for a while...really need some responses from males even more so. Is it possible for a guy to flirt and NOT be interested. There's this guy at my job and I'm really digging on him. We talk at work, he comes up to me sometimes and massages my shoulders and he's always, "Hey beautiful" or "hey cutie"ing me when he sees me. I inquired about him thru one of his co-workers and I know this co-worker told him and it obviously hasn't turned him off from me so I'm thinking maybe he is interested. However, he's very friendly with everyone it seems. Although I haven't seen or heard him say/do the things he's done with me but I definitely wouldn't put it past him. I don't know if he's physically attracted and just likes doing things like this to women he finds attractive but that he's not necessarily interested in me. Let me stop myself from rambling. Basically, I just want to know if it's possible for a man to flirt with a woman but not be interested? I want to talk to him but I'd like to know the probability of being wrong b4 I go into it. All responses are appreciated. lostinlove Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by lostinlove0479 Basically, I just want to know if it's possible for a man to flirt with a woman but not be interested? Of course its possible. It's possible for women to flirt too and not be interested. If he IS interested---be careful. Workplace romances have a way of turning & there may be something about that in your company policy. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 Yes, it is extremely possible for someone to flirt and not have a genuine interest. They are called "attention whores" Men and women alike act like this at the office. Some just need to know that someone thinks that they are sexy and desireable. Although this may or may not be the case for yourself. Why don't you ask him out for lunch? I'm sure you would be able to tell in a more "private" situation? Just my opinion. Good Luck Hon. bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 I think most men will not mainly cause they don't know how to flirt but some will. I have done it in the past just for fun. You must remember that flirting is just flirting, it mean very little unless BOTH parties act upon it and take it to the next step. I have met very few men who were master flirts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostinlove0479 Posted May 16, 2005 Author Share Posted May 16, 2005 u see the reason y i can't tell is b/c i'm not a flirt. i think sometimes it may come across like that to guys but really i'm not. and if i like someone, it's highly undetectable. well, i think i smile alot, like when i talk to this guy. but, i guess i'm scared of making an ass out of myself which at 25 you'd think i'd be a bit more of a risk taker but haven't crafted that when it comes down to matters of the heart. i work in a very public place/no office romance type a thing here. if it's in our policy at my job, there would be a lot of job openings. lol which is another reason why i don't want to approach him either. seems like everybody is dating eachother and i don't like that. who knows who he might be seeing already. i guess the only way i'll find out is to ask him, huh? guess that's what i'll have to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostinlove0479 Posted May 16, 2005 Author Share Posted May 16, 2005 alpha male, what do u mean by master flirts? it seems to me all men are masters at flirting... i just got a thought, i wonder if this guy is testing me to see what i'm gonna do. i'm liking this shyt less and less when i think about it in reference to my situation. it's fine for a guy who i'm not interested in to flirt, but when i like the person, i feel too vulnerable. bubbles, i love ur terminology, "attention whores". love that... lol Link to post Share on other sites
Jonny Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 NO. Listen girls and listen well. Guys ONLY TALK (let alone flirt) girls they want. As soon as that girl he flirts with shows she will go for it, he will take it. The only reason a guy flirts with a girl is for one reason or another he feels he cannot go further. End of story. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostinlove0479 Posted May 23, 2005 Author Share Posted May 23, 2005 Just to let y'all know, I finally got the nerve to give him my number last night. We shall see what happens. I made it clear that I wanted to hook up with him to go out and I told him jokingly not to waste my paper(the paper I'd put my number on). He replied, "I'd never do that." So, hopefully he won't. He should've been flattered to have a pretty girl like me go after him....lol God, I give guys such props for approaching women like y'all do. That was fun, but I was trying to keep my cool. Lord knows I have the hugest crush on him but I keep my composure really well, I think anyway. Thanks for the input guys. Much appreciated! lostinlove Link to post Share on other sites
Tyric Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Jonny NO. Listen girls and listen well. Guys ONLY TALK (let alone flirt) girls they want. Jonny, no offence, but the world is MUCH biger than you think and there are WAY too many different kinds of people to make a blanket statement like that. Plus, I know it to be wrong. Case in point: me. One simple example: girl X at my work is a little down in the dumps and suffers from low self-confidence. I'd certainly throw compliments her way to help her feel better. That's just one of a handful of different reasons I could think of. As for you Lost, CONGRATS! Whooohooo! You go girl! Link to post Share on other sites
portableversion Posted May 24, 2005 Share Posted May 24, 2005 i partially agree both with Tyric and Johnny, I've seen plenty of guys flirt with girls and when she finally leaves the room and its just the guys thats when the confession starts. it may not be actual words but it is the usual admittance that the fella would be willing to have sex with the girl. Now Tyric i could see the empathy thing but then I've seen the empathizers end up having an emotional affair after years of knowing the girl and trying to cheer her up. They just care for her, which is a building block to relationships. So i say that even though a relationship between the 2 may never start, the 2 folks who flirt with each other could potentially date each other. If the world was just a little different they would've gotten together. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted May 24, 2005 Share Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by portableversion ...seen plenty of guys flirt with girls and when she finally leaves the room and its just the guys thats when the confession starts. it may not be actual words but it is the usual admittance that the fella would be willing to have sex with the girl. .... The opposite of this is true as well. I've seen guys flirt and as soon as the girl leaves the room, he totally trashes her in front of his friends whether he's interested or not and the friends join in. But in all honestly, we do it too guys. We make nice to a guy in the room, he leaves, and the sour "ewwwww" face comes out and the gagging begins. Link to post Share on other sites
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