Broken promises...

[unnamed]

Hopefully this will not sound too childish, but stay with me...

 

A few months back my girlfriend and I decided to play Badminton for the school team together. For the previous three years, she had played with a girlfriend of hers. I understood that maybe she would not want to play with me, but I offered anyway (I have been very athletic all my life, but never played badminton or any sport during school). She, surprisingly, agreed. So, we made a promise to play together.

 

After that, I wanted to practice really hard because I wanted to play good for her (it was really only my first time playing this year...) I was very excited to play with her.

 

A few days ago, badminton started up and practices were scheduled. We were walking the halls, talking about it, and along came here friend. She yelled out something like, "want to be my partner?" Unfortunately, my girlfriend said yes.

 

I couldn't believe it. Here I was, for months, excited about having the chance to play with my girlfriend. I felt so dismayed.

 

There is nothing I can change now. I forgave her, but the pain still remains. It is not only the fact that I cannot play with her and I have to suffer watching her have fun with her partner, but also the fact that she broke a promise which meant a lot to me.

 

I'm pretty sensitive when it comes to being "ditched" for another, dealing with broken promises, etc., due to a previous relationship.

 

How can I get over this? I would love to play with my girlfriend still, but I cannot. What's done is done, and I have urged her to keep playing despite.

 

I've been very hurt. I'm not selfish about this, though, its just the broken promise that mainly bothers me I guess.

[Tony T]

People break promises all the time, but they don't mean to. Actually, sometimes it's a pretty high compliment to feel comfortable enough to break a promise to someone special to you.

 

First, your girlfriend probably had no idea whatsoever just how much this meant to you. She may have even thought you were just trying to make her feel good by playing with her. So when her old partner asked again, she may have felt she was doing you a favor by relieving you of an obligation. You just never know what's in people's heads.

 

Now I have lots of wonderful and close friends. I guess I'm luckier than most. There are a number of times when I make promises to them to do this that or the other and I have to break them. Now, I probably wouldn't break these promises with someone I didn't know very well because they would badmouth me all over town. But I know my friends love me so if I have to change some things, I am sure they will still be my friend.

 

So, frankly, if someone feels comfortable and secure enough in their friendship with me to break a promise...they may disappoint me...but they also pay tribute to the friendship by acknowledging it is strong enough to rise above a simple broken promise (of course, some promises are far more significant than others.)

 

You just never know what's going on in people's heads but I'm sure your friend had no idea how sensitive you would be about this. But she is your friend and if you depended on playing sports with her to improve your life in a meaningful way, that was your mistake...not hers.

 

This too shall pass.