HansonGirl Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 I know a guy who is one of the nicest guys. I also happen to find myself attracted to him. Not just for his niceness but the combination of things, the way he looks, the way he is respectful and kind, and the way we click whenever we sit down and talk one-on-one I can list some of the nice things he has done for me, but it's meaningless because he does them for other people as well. before I realized that, I did read into it, but not any more. One of the biggest things was his concern for my eating. I have dietary restrictions and even my own family doesn't even care. He cared right away, and at restaurants (we've gone with a group) he will even ask the waitress to make sure it's to my standards. here i go already starting to list things.... I don't know anybody with that same specific issue who he'd do that for, so I haven't witnessed him make that exact gesture for anybody else, but he has done other similarly nice things for people. for instance someone he worked with, who JUST started working there, had some sort of health problem and he volunteered to be available in case she needed a ride or something. it was an older lady (not a senior citizen but like 20 years older) anyways, I am finding myself too attracted. I try to look for flaws in him, but there aren't any that cause me to get over this crush. Normally that's what I'd do. He seems to want to be my friend. I don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 One of my loves was one of these really nice guys that everyone likes. After awhile, I realized that however sincere and mushy he'd been with me, he was probably like that with every woman he ever slept with. In fact, I asked him once and he pretty much admitted it. Nice people are great, but they're usually spread too thin and you don't feel special and always feel replaceable. They make better friends unless you're alot like them and he and are still friends. Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 It's good to know that you have a considerate person in your life! It can helpful. I'd just avoid him, eventually those feelings becomes buried or you could put yourself out there and learn to accept rejection. Eeks. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie Harper Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 You found a person who will make you feel better special, listened to, and be your friend. Maybe he will not be your lover, sleep with you, but if he is the real deal, you should treasure him and avoid falling into the trap of trying to "get him" because he might not be up for a relationship, doesn't want one, or simply there is no "magic". I have great female friends and I understand there is a huge layer of sexual and emotional connection with some of them, but I have talked to several of them about it and we know it will not work out in the long run, but we have a fantastic friendship, and i really treasure that. Maybe WHO KNOWS that will change but I am not pressuring it and neitehr them, the funny thing is that some of them have spoken of my other friends and told me " why you don't go steady with such and such" and its all between them I really find it amusing, but I grasp that they want me "settled". I also get that some of them are gorgeous and successful, but our relationship works better as friends (and I haven't slept with anyone of them) Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Oh yeah, this is how I've been trying to get over my crush. Everytime I think of him, I say to him "J has a gf, J has a gf" then try to think about something else. Sounds kinda lame, but hopefully this works for me!! Link to post Share on other sites
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