Help Confused 20 year old soldier

[Angel007]

I broke up with her but now i regret it , I am i just being selfish Post: 1 | Quote: I broke up with my girlfriend of three years on the 20th of December, I love her but I felt like she did not want me anymore because lately she has not been into me at all sexually for months, it would seem she would try to avoid any situation that could arise. Background were going out over three years since before my freshman year in college i am now a junior, I go to school about a two hour drive south of chicago. I would drive home at least twice a month since to spend time with her. I felt this was the woman i could marry someday.. Anyways she denied any problemswith our sex life for about the past 4 months, I felt my pride hurt because i felt unwanted as a man, I laso began to resent her for not being in to me sxually even though it wwas torture these past fewmothswhere i have been away at school unsatisfied. I was having an unusally rough time because i had withdrawn my classes this pat semester, one day I just told her I would like a break, I felt it was something I had to do. She reacted coldly as if she didnt care. anyways we still ended up exchanging xmas gifts and we have seen each other twice since she says she still loves me but would not want to discuss anythigbabout us she told me she just doesnt want to think of it right now, i told her i had been a fool , that i love her and thencried and asked her if we could ever be ok. She was acting distant friendly she would let me hug her but would seem to ignore me other wise. I have realized how much she meant to me have not been able to sleep well since, i dont even feel like doing anything as of late, she seems to be distracting erslf when i talked to her that day she said she had to clean and reorganize her room a huge task she has not done for years. I am about to go to national guard training in the end of january, i feel as if i have made a huge mistake, she told me she did not want to make the decision of wheter we should be together i apoligized ad all. she said she was thinking and then i asked her to decide she said she couldnt so I let, i miss her dearly, what should I do?It has been a few weeks since we broke up we have seen each other maybe 3 times.. She seems so cold and uninterrsted when we have gotten together i asked her About us she said she didnt want to talk about us. I am leaving for bootcamp for 4 months jan 12th. I just want to know how she fels I have swallowed my pride and told her I love her and was going through a rough time. She has been seemingly in denial lately she pretends as if we never broke up, she said she loved me after we broke up but last time i asked she said she didnt know what love was anymore...brrr...ice cold. I hadnt tlake to her in the last 5 days and she called me to ask me if i when we werre going to hang out befor i leave. She keeps on voidinng talking about ius i aked her why does she want to see me and se didnt reply, se also said it didnt matter becuse either wasy she wasnt going to see me for 5 months. She was alsways such asweet woman I dont know why she could be acing thus, what shoud I do I really want to salvage what we had if possible. The problems we were having was we both took ech other for granted and she seemed uninterested in sex, should i just wait till i come ack from training to approach her? she already suggested she would talk to me at training, what should i do is she playing games?

Well I invited her over for some dinner last night she said she neds o be alone for a while.. She said she still wanted o talk to me... I told her that it is painful for me....Anyways she wanted to se m a few times before i left, she said that w would have to start over, how can I help to live my life sh left the door open basically, I think she cares about me depply and just wants to know what she wants.... thank for all the help we'll see afte 4 months if I still missher with all my soulWell It has been four months I am now In the next phase of military training, in thechnical school. During basic my ex wrote some letters where she said she missed me and thought about a me a lot, but after 4 letteras she suddenly stopped writing me, when I called her and asked her why ashe lied to me AND TOLD ME SHE WAS BAD WITH SUCH THINGS when beforeshe wouldwrite me all the time when I would be gone. Anyways now that I can use the phone I feel I want to give another genuine chance, I have talked to her she acts distant doesnt tell me anything going on with herself, she told me she wasnt mad with me. I tell her I miss her everytime I talk to her, I feel like a doormat, she is nonchalant but still polite when we talk. Yesterday I asked her if she missed me she avoided the question and said the past had happened and I needed to let it go, she also told me not to torment myself and she didnt think about me much anymore, she said we could hang out, my friend told me she hasnt gone out at all since I left and that she had her little sis move into her room with her. I asdked her if we could webchat and she said no, I'm thinking she's still hurt but doesnt want to express it, am I just being foolish. LAst time I saw her she said we would have to start over .. could someone please help me. If she does not want anything to do with me why does she still talk to me.. On the phoen she listens and is veryu quiet as if she is waiting for me to say something, I have poured out my heart to her and can do no more

Am I just living In a fantasy of hope.. Is it possible she just is not ready to ever trust me… she avoids talking about us on the phone says there is nothing to talk about.. What should I do I still love her very dearly.. I heard she has been a recluse since and started sharing a room with her little sis.. I dont know what to think but it is hard to give up any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Coulkd she be avoiding being involved because she know I'm away until august. When

[DandyBo]

U noe wat? plz break it up into paragraphs next time... i can't read it... havin so much problems reading it... and it cause me a headache