The edge Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Not long ago, a stong desire rose within me to "stalk" my ex online! I still dunno what had gotten over me but I still went on with it, just to end up with a big surprise! I was not sure in the beginning, but I ended up believing that he had gotten married after reading and seeing stuff online! lol Well, I was speechless and shocked. Never thought that my ex was married all these years! I know that it sounds naive, but I was busy myself, living life and falling in and out of love with guys! couple days later, i managed to call him regardless of the NO NO advice that I had been given. I just wanted to talk to my ex so badly, I was on fire! And he responded! Thankfully! it was a quick, light conversation. The funny thing is that the moment we talked he informed me that he had settled down:laugh::laugh: and was still childless. I was speechless again as I didn't expect the marriage ball to be thrown at me so early in the call! anyways, the call was short throughout which ex asked a hell lot of questions bout my life and my future plans! Also, wondering why I was still single so awkward and embarrassing for me! lol but the surprising thing was at the end, ex asked me to keep in touch! I was taken by surprise! I don't want to believe he meant it but I'm not sure!! He hasn't and might never reply to my FB message or skype invitation which were sent prior to our conversation and him confiming my suspicions! Do you think he really meant it eventhough he hasn't replied to my message or accepted my invitation yet??? Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 It sounds like he's being polite, enjoying hearing from a blast from the past. He made it VERY CLEAR right from the start that he's NOT romantically available. LEAVE WELL ALONE!! You know what you're doing! You know what you really want & you know it's wrong! You've had your trip down memory lane. Please don't end-up one of those people posting here, "Oh I'm so innocent. I never expected these feelings. Oh poor me. How did I end-up having this affair. Do you think he's ever going to leave his wife?". Let's just cut out all the bull s**t & heart ache...No! He's not going to leave her. Yes! He's just using you! Yes! It's just a meaningless affair & everyone's hurting.... Hopefully he's a moral guy & just being nice. "Keep in touch" is a polite way to finish a conversation! Being unavailable obviously isn't your 'line'. Are you now pretending that having kids would be your line? LEAVE HIM ALONE!! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
clam Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Leave him alone. Don't become a home wrecker. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author The edge Posted September 19, 2015 Author Share Posted September 19, 2015 (edited) Being unavailable obviously isn't your 'line'. Are you now pretending that having kids would be your line? chill shateredLady:D I'm not a horrid person! I was just confused bout that line! but he's off-limits to me! I saw the wife's photo and she's lovely! the last thing I'd want to do is to hurt her or ruin their union!! :bunny: Edited September 19, 2015 by The edge Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 chill shateredLady:D I'm not a horrid person! I was just confused bout that line! but he's off-limits to me! I saw the wife's photo and she's lovely! the last thing I'd want to do is to hurt her or ruin their union!! :bunny: Regardless it ALWAYS starts this way...you know...we started out just talking...we never wanted to hurt anyone...just friends...its a bad idea. You scratched your itch. Now move on. We all have nostalgia for an ex. Do the right thing...it ends BAD. Every single time. You've been warned. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Oh I'm sorry. I don't think you're a horrid person! It all happens too easily sometimes. He's having a bad time at work, feeling a bit low, hair not as full as it was, put on a few pounds, had a fight with his wife, ego flattered by your attention.... Next thing you know you're nursing a broken heart & questioning how it all got so bad, so fast. Take care of yourself. Guard your heart. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 play with matches, and you will get burned. instead, analyze what sexual urge these "contacts" is satisfying, and figure out a way to get the same kinky urge from your married husband! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 You're coming off like a stage IV clinger. What the hell? Why are you acting like a school girl with a crush? The guy is married and clearly not interested. About the only thing you haven't done is pass him a damned note asking him if he likes you and to check off 'yes' or 'no.' Jesus, stop already. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Quote - "Well, I was speechless and shocked. Never thought that my ex was married all these years! I know that it sounds naive, but I was busy myself, living life and falling in and out of love with guys!" It's funny how we think of people from our past as never really changing. I moved from the UK too the USA years ago & I find myself picturing everyone & everything at home being the same as it was when I left....even though I've experienced so much 'Life' that's changed & molded me into the person I am today. I guess that's why they say, "You can never go home again". I must confess I'd love to know how life turned out for one of my Ex's. We were together throughout my formative years (15-20) & never spoke after we split. I don't really want to talk to him. I'd just like to know what he did with his life. I understand the pull.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 chill shateredLady:D I'm not a horrid person! I was just confused bout that line! but he's off-limits to me! I saw the wife's photo and she's lovely! the last thing I'd want to do is to hurt her or ruin their union!! :bunny: So what's the end game? Trying to understand how you'd complete the sentence "I want to stay in touch with my married ex so I can..." Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author The edge Posted September 21, 2015 Author Share Posted September 21, 2015 So what's the end game? Trying to understand how you'd complete the sentence "I want to stay in touch with my married ex so I can..." Mr. Lucky Mr Lucky I'm not staying in touch with my ex. As much as I like him, I will simply continue on moving on with my life, just like i was doin before i stalked him lol. he has his own life, and Ive got my own! we were simply never meant to end up together! cheers 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author The edge Posted September 21, 2015 Author Share Posted September 21, 2015 You're coming off like a stage IV clinger. What the hell? Why are you acting like a school girl with a crush? The guy is married and clearly not interested. About the only thing you haven't done is pass him a damned note asking him if he likes you and to check off 'yes' or 'no.' Jesus, stop already. i know that he doesnt want me! must be the news that got me behavin all lovesick again! argh! a stage 4 clinger! lol Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 (edited) must be the news that got me behavin all lovesick again! argh! What news? The marriage? Did you intend to break it up to make yourself feel better? Edited September 21, 2015 by madjac74 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Somebody needs to warn this guy to keep his bunny locked up or it is going to get boiled. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 the last thing I'd want to do is to hurt her or ruin their union!! :bunny: Then what's the point of this thread? Just stop talking to him. And "keep in touch" is something people "say". Like when I add people on facebook from high school and we catch up one evening. Like that. But this is worse. Stop messing with him for your own personal enjoyment. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 You talked to him. OK fine. He drew a line in the sand immediately by telling you about his life & wife. Him saying "let's keep in touch" is a figure of speech, a white lie if you will. It was polite not a genuine desire for a continued connection. Every so often I bump into an EX professionally. I dated a few guys in my field. We spend 5 or so minutes chatting. Two hugged me in condolence the 1st time I saw them after my parents died (even though it had been months since the deaths before I saw the EXs). The hugs were about human compassion & kindness not invitations for illicit affairs. You talked to your EX. Hopefully it's out of your system. That ship sailed. Wave bye-bye. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 You talked to him. OK fine. He drew a line in the sand immediately by telling you about his life & wife. Him saying "let's keep in touch" is a figure of speech, a white lie if you will. It was polite not a genuine desire for a continued connection. Every so often I bump into an EX professionally. I dated a few guys in my field. We spend 5 or so minutes chatting. Two hugged me in condolence the 1st time I saw them after my parents died (even though it had been months since the deaths before I saw the EXs). The hugs were about human compassion & kindness not invitations for illicit affairs. You talked to your EX. Hopefully it's out of your system. That ship sailed. Wave bye-bye. I can't remember the surname of one of most of my Exes, so that's blocked any ideas I might have had to see what their up to. You've found out where he's at - just move on. It's just curiosity sometimes . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author The edge Posted September 21, 2015 Author Share Posted September 21, 2015 What news? The marriage? Did you intend to break it up to make yourself feel better? Where on earth did you get such an idea ?! Read the post again! Link to post Share on other sites
Author The edge Posted September 21, 2015 Author Share Posted September 21, 2015 Then what's the point of this thread? Just stop talking to him. And "keep in touch" is something people "say". Like when I add people on facebook from high school and we catch up one evening. Like that. But this is worse. Stop messing with him for your own personal enjoyment. Some guys mean it! but in this case, I knew that he couldn't mean it specially after telling me bout his marriage!! that's why i was like "eh":rolleyes: still, I wanted another opinion on the matter Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Some guys mean it! but in this case, I knew that he couldn't mean it specially after telling me bout his marriage!! that's why i was like "eh":rolleyes: still, I wanted another opinion on the matter You just want someone to tell you to "go for it". Link to post Share on other sites
Author The edge Posted September 21, 2015 Author Share Posted September 21, 2015 You talked to him. OK fine. He drew a line in the sand immediately by telling you about his life & wife. Him saying "let's keep in touch" is a figure of speech, a white lie if you will. It was polite not a genuine desire for a continued connection... You talked to your EX. Hopefully it's out of your system. That ship sailed. Wave bye-bye. yip ship sailed, and it is outta my system! Thank you for your input. it helped. all my condolences for your loss 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sheberiding Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Yes he was just being polite. It's what you say to everyone when you haven't seen them in a long time. From everything you have said I can tell from a guy's perspective that he isn't into you anymore. I have had similar experiences with my exgirlfriends calling me and I ask a lot of questions to share as little amount about myself as I can. I also never accept their requests on social media cause that's just grief I don't need. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author The edge Posted September 21, 2015 Author Share Posted September 21, 2015 You just want someone to tell you to "go for it". no I wanted sb to confirm that it was a No. that I was not wrong Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Some guys mean it! but in this case, I knew that he couldn't mean it specially after telling me bout his marriage!! that's why i was like "eh":rolleyes: still, I wanted another opinion on the matter But why does it matter though? It's a little strange. You need to be honest with yourself. You said you stalked your ex online, figured he was married, and against advice called him up, then were "surprised" that he "threw the marriage ball so early" (when should he have said it?, it's a fact you already knew) and now you're asking for "second opinions" on if he wants to keep in touch. You're not stupid and we're not stupid, NO ONE would care about this unless they wanted more than a hello from the ex. So figure out why you were hell bent on ringing him and why you care if he wants to keep in touch. You didn't keep in touch this entire time, so why now. I'd leave well enough alone. Link to post Share on other sites
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