I don't know what I look like...

[HansonGirl]

I recently saw a photo that was taken where I was at a wedding. I look terrible. I don't recall looking in the mirror before the wedding and looking that bad. I feel so foolish for thinking I looked ok. I've been called ugly before. but i've also been called beautiful and pretty. Sometimes when people call me pretty I think they must be saying that to like make me feel better or something even though I never even asked.

 

Currently a guy apparently likes me, but I don't understand why. I am hideous. And my crush (who i've mentioned in other posts), i feel so foolish sometimes for thinking maybe he'd ever like me back. I assume that he is repulsed by me. I dread being photographed because I don't want my ugliness to be memorialized and I don't want to have to look at the pictures. it's like i don't want to be reminded. None of my friends are going to be honest, they aren't going to tell me, honestly, yeah you aren't really that good looking. They are just going to tell me I am pretty just to say what I want to hear. In fact a few years ago, I was feeling insecure and asked my gay male friend an innocent question, "Am I pretty?" and he said bluntly, "no." i dropped the issue, but clearly the decision was not a hard one for him. then the next day i guess he realized that was rude, and backtracked and took it upon himself to tell me he was looking at me that night and realized I am pretty. whatever.... :-/

 

I am still haunted by one time years ago a friend and i went out to the bars and went back to her apartment where i would be crashing on the sofa. we met her neighbors though, a bunch of young guys, young professionals right out of college. They said, there were two girls, only one of them was pretty, and they made a point of it, like to make me feel bad or something. I mean i must have been PRETTY bad for them to do that. I couldn't have been just slightly less pretty. I remember one of them just staring at me the whole time like he couldn't believe i existed. And then i got a boyfriend not too long after that who told me he liked me and said i was beautiful. I never believed him. That's why i will never join in when people are saying how a celebrity is not pretty. Like sarah jessica parker. lot of people say she's not pretty but could you imagine how hurtful that is? I was just watching some SATC eps and she looked gorgeous to me. I don't even know what people are talking about.

I just wish I were pretty. I wish I didn't have to wonder if someone is going to call me pretty or call me ugly today. sometimes I wonder if the guy who I went out with now is only doing it to get laid - i haven't slept with him but perhaps he thinks some ugly girl is going to be easy to get into bed.

 

Sometimes I just think it's so hopeless, and I should give up.

Edited September 19, 2015 by HansonGirl

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Why do you think you look hideous? Why do you question the motives of someone calling you beautiful? Pretty girls with big self esteem issues are far uglier than non pretty girls who have a positive & healthy attitude about their self worth. I find it highly unattractive when girls say they are ugly or fat. Usually that just a cry for attention or a form of manipulation.

[HansonGirl]

Why do you think you look hideous? Why do you question the motives of someone calling you beautiful? Pretty girls with big self esteem issues are far uglier than non pretty girls who have a positive & healthy attitude about their self worth. I find it highly unattractive when girls say they are ugly or fat. Usually that just a cry for attention or a form of manipulation.

 

Because I just saw a photo of myself from this wedding and I am mortified. I can assure you that my post is not a plea for attention or whatever. Has it ever occurred to you that I am legitimately asking about this? I am wondering if anybody else has experienced this. I can look in one mirror, and think I look hot. I can then look in a different mirror and I am like WTF?!?!?! I guess the times I have been called ugly have made a bigger impact on me such that when someone calls me pretty there is no way I can believe them. My friend, who introduced me to my ex, said when he first saw me, he looked stunned. but i saw pictures from that same night, and I looked bad. I just don't get it. I also see pictures of myself where i look entirely different. I look like a heifer in one, and then take another and look acceptable. So no I am not trying to get people here to tell me I am pretty (you guys don't even know what I look like) but I am just wondering if anybody has personally experienced this or knows anybody else who has said this? I already have gone to a plastic surgeon for minor facial treatments but I am seriously considering such things as a nose job, or lip injections.

 

Oh and I have definitely found myself looking at other women who i find pretty, like staring at them. and i bet they think i am a lesbian, but there have been a couple (rare) truly gorgeous girls that I was like, wow, what is about her. her face is just gorgeous! I felt the same about bo derek, i saw an interview of her on youtube and she is PRETTY!! i saw an older video of her, on the johnny carson show, but i think she actually looks better now (sorry that's a digression!)

Edited September 19, 2015 by HansonGirl

[newmoon]

it sounds like you have a very unhealthy self-image, and that a lot of your self-esteem is linked to your appearance. perhaps you should focus on the other things you have that make you attractive and not place so much emphasis on your looks, or how others perceive you. this could be youth... are you a younger gal? as women age we do become more comfortable with how we look and feel.

[Just Write]

HG, I'm a guy, but I'm pretty much in the exact same boat as you. I think of myself as a 6/10 at best, but all my friends and family tell me that I'm "at least an 8." I look at those comments as strictly charity, though. I mean, what are they going to tell me, right? Also like you, I look in the mirror and sometimes think, "Yeah, I am pretty good looking." Then I'll see a picture of myself and just cringe. I envy other guys, too, mostly when it comes to hair. I'm not bald, but my hair is thinning in front (I'm 33, by the way), and I tend to obsess too much over it. I guess I just always wanted to have a really good head of hair.

 

As for stories, I'll give you one: I used to run around a local lake with a track. One morning, there was this very attractive girl running in the other direction. I admit to giving her a once-over as she approached (hey, I'm a guy!), and when she passed me, she said something to the effect that I, quote, "looked like a retard." I never told anyone about that before either, but I thought I'd share it with you here today because, even though this was just some random girl whom I never even saw again, it nevertheless really shook my confidence. So I've been where you are now, I think.

 

All that being said, though, you just have to work with what you have and be proud of it. No, I don't think I'm particularly good looking, at least not in the face. But I exercise religiously, and you know what? I have a better physique than 95% of men out there, I'd wager. No, I don't have the greatest head of hair. But I keep it short and styled, wash it daily, and always strive to make it look it's best. I don't have much body hair, and what I do have I groom. I shower every day without fail. My teeth are straight and white. At 5'11", I stand tall and walk confidently. I wear good clothes that fit well, and when the occasion calls for it, I wear cologne, too. In other words, I accept my flaws, but I also acknowledge my gifts. You need to do the same.

 

From a guy's perspective, I'll give you a little tip: speaking strictly in terms of the physical, I would much rather date a girl with a good body and a decent face than an out-of-shape or overweight girl with a gorgeous face. It's funny you mentioned Sarah Jessica Parker in your opening post, because I had a huge crush on her when I was a kid (Google Flight of the Navigator; that's the one that did it for me), and it still lingers a bit even to this day. She's always had a good figure, and that's very important to me when it comes to looks. And as someone who exercises regularly myself, I find nothing sexier than a woman in really good shape. Forget about face or bust size, if a girl's got a flat stomach, toned butt, and well-defined arms, I go crazy. So maybe consider that if you're looking to improve your self-image a bit more.

 

Anyway, yes, there are people out there who feel the way you do, myself being one of them. But dwelling on your looks isn't going to change anything. You're better off appreciating yourself and striving to be the best person you can be than you are constantly ridiculing yourself. It may not make you more attractive, but it certainly can't hurt. Besides, if you don't love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you? I tell myself that all the time, and I think you should, too, HG.

 

And for what it's worth, you sound like a lovely young woman who just needs to believe in herself a bit more. I didn't really broach personality all that much here, but it should go without saying that it's hugely important to men, or at least decent men. Exude confidence, and I'm sure your personality will become that much more attractive than it already is.

 

Good luck and take care.

[Leigh 87]

I am sorry that people have been cruel to you.

 

It's never right to someone ugly.

 

However, why don't you quit complaining and do something about it? If you don't wear make up or make an effort with your personal style, and if you don't go to a hair dressers and cut and colour or at least style your hair, sorry but you can't just ditch make up and totally lack beauty skills and expect to be gorgeous.

 

Most women are average without make up and their hair done nicely and nice clothes. So in order to be pretty, I wear mascara, natural mineral powder and lip gloss or lipstick. A simple three things take me from average to pretty.

 

If you don't look good, do something about it! Save up and consult a stylist. Get hair extensions if you have super fine, thin and limp hair.

 

There's no excuse for people being cruel.

 

But there's also no excuse for you to not make an effort in your appearance if you're not already. And yes, sometimes you have to work your @as off and take a weekened bar job in order to save for such things as eye brow shaping and tinting, hair styling and a consultation with a stylish.

 

Many women aren't good with colours, clothes and make up. It can take the professionals and an OBJECTIVE point of view in order to make a woman attractive at times.

[HansonGirl]

However, why don't you quit complaining and do something about it? If you don't wear make up or make an effort with your personal style, and if you don't go to a hair dressers and cut and colour or at least style your hair, sorry but you can't just ditch make up and totally lack beauty skills and expect to be gorgeous.

 

Most women are average without make up and their hair done nicely and nice clothes. So in order to be pretty, I wear mascara, natural mineral powder and lip gloss or lipstick. A simple three things take me from average to pretty.

 

If you don't look good, do something about it! Save up and consult a stylist. Get hair extensions if you have super fine, thin and limp hair.

 

There's no excuse for people being cruel.

 

But there's also no excuse for you to not make an effort in your appearance if you're not already. And yes, sometimes you have to work your @as off and take a weekened bar job in order to save for such things as eye brow shaping and tinting, hair styling and a consultation with a stylish.

 

Many women aren't good with colours, clothes and make up. It can take the professionals and an OBJECTIVE point of view in order to make a woman attractive at times.

 

Are you kidding me with this advice? where in my post did i say that I don't do anything about my appearance? Who said i wasn't wearing making up and dressed up the night I was ridiculed? And i have news for you, the make up and all that can't completely change things. I'm sorry but this post was just not helpful to me. I do wear make up and do my hair.

You can't tell the difference between someone wearing tons of make up to cover up unattractiveness vs someone who is decent looking already? And how does this help me if my problem is self-esteem? you are basically saying, so you are ugly, just cover up your ugliness with some make up and stop complaining. And furthermore I don't even know what I look like. It's like I am completely disassociated with myself. Sometimes i look ok and sometimes I look bad. Some people say i look ugly and some people say i look pretty. I have absolutely no concept of how i look. I have no concept of whether my crush for instance might like me or is repulsed by me. I have no idea. It's like, a form of body dysmorphia, but it's like not limited to me thinking I look bad. because sometimes i think i look good. But i just don't trust my own view.

Edited September 21, 2015 by HansonGirl

[HansonGirl]

HG, I'm a guy, but I'm pretty much in the exact same boat as you. I think of myself as a 6/10 at best, but all my friends and family tell me that I'm "at least an 8." I look at those comments as strictly charity, though. I mean, what are they going to tell me, right? Also like you, I look in the mirror and sometimes think, "Yeah, I am pretty good looking." Then I'll see a picture of myself and just cringe. I envy other guys, too, mostly when it comes to hair. I'm not bald, but my hair is thinning in front (I'm 33, by the way), and I tend to obsess too much over it. I guess I just always wanted to have a really good head of hair.

 

As for stories, I'll give you one: I used to run around a local lake with a track. One morning, there was this very attractive girl running in the other direction. I admit to giving her a once-over as she approached (hey, I'm a guy!), and when she passed me, she said something to the effect that I, quote, "looked like a retard." I never told anyone about that before either, but I thought I'd share it with you here today because, even though this was just some random girl whom I never even saw again, it nevertheless really shook my confidence. So I've been where you are now, I think.

 

All that being said, though, you just have to work with what you have and be proud of it. No, I don't think I'm particularly good looking, at least not in the face. But I exercise religiously, and you know what? I have a better physique than 95% of men out there, I'd wager. No, I don't have the greatest head of hair. But I keep it short and styled, wash it daily, and always strive to make it look it's best. I don't have much body hair, and what I do have I groom. I shower every day without fail. My teeth are straight and white. At 5'11", I stand tall and walk confidently. I wear good clothes that fit well, and when the occasion calls for it, I wear cologne, too. In other words, I accept my flaws, but I also acknowledge my gifts. You need to do the same.

 

From a guy's perspective, I'll give you a little tip: speaking strictly in terms of the physical, I would much rather date a girl with a good body and a decent face than an out-of-shape or overweight girl with a gorgeous face. It's funny you mentioned Sarah Jessica Parker in your opening post, because I had a huge crush on her when I was a kid (Google Flight of the Navigator; that's the one that did it for me), and it still lingers a bit even to this day. She's always had a good figure, and that's very important to me when it comes to looks. And as someone who exercises regularly myself, I find nothing sexier than a woman in really good shape. Forget about face or bust size, if a girl's got a flat stomach, toned butt, and well-defined arms, I go crazy. So maybe consider that if you're looking to improve your self-image a bit more.

 

Anyway, yes, there are people out there who feel the way you do, myself being one of them. But dwelling on your looks isn't going to change anything. You're better off appreciating yourself and striving to be the best person you can be than you are constantly ridiculing yourself. It may not make you more attractive, but it certainly can't hurt. Besides, if you don't love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you? I tell myself that all the time, and I think you should, too, HG.

 

And for what it's worth, you sound like a lovely young woman who just needs to believe in herself a bit more. I didn't really broach personality all that much here, but it should go without saying that it's hugely important to men, or at least decent men. Exude confidence, and I'm sure your personality will become that much more attractive than it already is.

 

Good luck and take care.

 

Thanks for sharing this story, I appreciate it.

 

Btw, funny thing is that this guy I like, when I first met him, I didn't really think he was that attractive. I thought he was ok. Then i started to like him more, and I find him more attractive now. meanwhile there's a guy i know growing up who is ugly on the inside as well as the outside, and i think part of why i think he's ugly on the outside is because he's such a mean-spirited person. so what you are saying is true about being a good person. because looks really only PART of the equation. A lot of the guys i've liked weren't the most conventionally attractive--some of them not even what i'd say my "type is--but it's the combo of everything that made me like them. Anyways, again that's horrible the girl who said that. but you know perhaps she was referring to the facial expression or the way you were looking, or she saw that you were checking her out and she felt vulnerable. I don't necessarily think she meant you look ugly.

 

PS, this goes along more with the last post: I almost forgot about this, but when i was younger, i had bad acne. My mother wouldn't let me go on accutane because she was convinced everybody who took it got depressed and suicidal (there were some reports of that), so i basically had this terrible acne. I stopped making eye contact with people. I thought that if I didn't look at them, it was like they didn't see me (which of course is ridiculous and irrational). so it wasn't the usual reason people avoid eye contact. i simply didnt want them to see my ugly face, or at least i wouldn't have to SEE them see me.

Edited September 21, 2015 by HansonGirl

[Poppyolive]

Sorry you feel this way and comments directed at you have hurt your self esteem. Everybody has unique tastes, some people like abstract art, others like portraits. So, please don't put your self worth in somebody elses hands. I think its natural to feel pretty some days, hideous the next. I know I do. I know there are pictures of me where I look cute and other pictures I look like a monster. Again, don't put your self worth in the hands of a camera.

 

Beauty starts from within. If you're feeling positive, fresh and uplifted it transcends into your out layer and you glow. Feel down, haggered & blue and it transcends into your out layer and your glow is dull.

 

So you change your attitude. That will be a great starting point. If you feel there are things you'd like to change, improve...get started on that. Eg. If you feel you are under or overweight work on that. Feel like you need a change? Get a new haircut, new style, but these will be secondary to step number one...changing your attitude. People say nasty comments all the time. It's crazy how we remember the bad ones. We all, everyone has had nasty comments directed at us.

[Just Write]

Thanks for sharing this story, I appreciate it.

 

Btw, funny thing is that this guy I like, when I first met him, I didn't really think he was that attractive. I thought he was ok. Then i started to like him more, and I find him more attractive now. meanwhile there's a guy i know growing up who is ugly on the inside as well as the outside, and i think part of why i think he's ugly on the outside is because he's such a mean-spirited person. so what you are saying is true about being a good person. because looks really only PART of the equation. A lot of the guys i've liked weren't the most conventionally attractive--some of them not even what i'd say my "type is--but it's the combo of everything that made me like them. Anyways, again that's horrible the girl who said that. but you know perhaps she was referring to the facial expression or the way you were looking, or she saw that you were checking her out and she felt vulnerable. I don't necessarily think she meant you look ugly.

 

PS, this goes along more with the last post: I almost forgot about this, but when i was younger, i had bad acne. My mother wouldn't let me go on accutane because she was convinced everybody who took it got depressed and suicidal (there were some reports of that), so i basically had this terrible acne. I stopped making eye contact with people. I thought that if I didn't look at them, it was like they didn't see me (which of course is ridiculous and irrational). so it wasn't the usual reason people avoid eye contact. i simply didnt want them to see my ugly face, or at least i wouldn't have to SEE them see me.

In my experience, most men are the same way when it comes to a woman's personality. I wouldn't date anyone if she were self-centered or mean-spirited, no matter how good looking, but if she were cheerful and fun, you better believe I'd fight for and hang on to her once I got her.

 

Now, obviously, looks are going to come into the equation, too, but the same phenomenon that you spoke of for yourself is true for men. To this day, I still remember this girl from college who I had a crush on. When we first met, I thought she was attractive enough. We soon became friends, and after I got to know her more, she became pretty much the only girl I wanted to date. Unfortunately for me, I was already friend-zoned by then, but I always regret not moving on her sooner, because she turned out to be such a wonderful person. So try to remember how much your own level of attraction is affected by a man's personality. It's definitely a factor that cuts both ways.

 

As for the runner, yeah, I think she was probably ticked that I was ogling her, which I understand. I felt bad about that, too. Suffice it to say, that was the last time I ever checked out a girl during my run. After that it was strictly eyes front. Actually, in regards to your acne story, I kind of refrain from staring at the opposite sex at all now because of that incident. I suppose my wounded ego has sort of taught me to be safe rather than sorry. Something I need to work on myself, I guess.

[todreaminblue]

I understand how you feel...i hate photos of me..had some taken just yesterday and i wish i wasnt in them..even worse that they were posted.........i hate seeing myself......i avoid mirrors.....

 

yesterday i thought i looked ok........then the photos.......and the crushing feeling comes.....i didnt look ok...not to me.....in the photos i look disgusting..........and when a friend looked over my shoulder at the computer ...he crowed about how i wasnt good enough to be with the women.....that i had to sing with the men...i already felt bad about the photo.....and my voice which is different and the fact i was in the front row

 

and you know what

 

 

stuff him i had a blast...stuff what i think about myself too.......i had a good time i smiled my head off..i learned new things....and i bonded with people........so what i think i look crappy.....apparently a lot of females feel bad about themselves....and i get that also like you have, from what others have said to me in the past ...cruel things.....stuff them all.....i sang in my different voice ..i looked the way i look...i am just deb......i even let photos be taken which i dont normally.....and i had fun...and that's what counts i was with friends .......and i had fun..music i adore......if i live my life trying to achieve a look....what would i be missing out on......what will you be missing out on....

 

as far as guys go always never had a problem with guys coming on to me......have a harder time saying no......because who am i to say no ......as they have pointed out...i am lucky they are attracted to me...lol..stuff them too....

 

 

sure wear make up.....do your hair...but what it comes down too...is what is inside of you that makes you feel bad....it isnt your hair...or your make up...they are band aids....masks.....you are you....you are special ...unique and beautiful......to people who count in your life...you are irreplaceable..........and especially the guy upstairs who made you...dont diss his work....smilin....be you....only you are able to be you...no one else in the world can do you..... like you can.....deb

[Leigh 87]

Are you kidding me with this advice? where in my post did i say that I don't do anything about my appearance? Who said i wasn't wearing making up and dressed up the night I was ridiculed? And i have news for you, the make up and all that can't completely change things. I'm sorry but this post was just not helpful to me. I do wear make up and do my hair.

You can't tell the difference between someone wearing tons of make up to cover up unattractiveness vs someone who is decent looking already? And how does this help me if my problem is self-esteem? you are basically saying, so you are ugly, just cover up your ugliness with some make up and stop complaining. And furthermore I don't even know what I look like. It's like I am completely disassociated with myself. Sometimes i look ok and sometimes I look bad. Some people say i look ugly and some people say i look pretty. I have absolutely no concept of how i look. I have no concept of whether my crush for instance might like me or is repulsed by me. I have no idea. It's like, a form of body dysmorphia, but it's like not limited to me thinking I look bad. because sometimes i think i look good. But i just don't trust my own view.

 

 

I misinterpreted the post.

 

In that case, many people are called ugly by some and gorgeous by others.

 

Many men have found me attractive and I am called attractive on a regular basis.

 

But I have also been called ugly too.

 

I often wonder myself what I look like!

[Leigh 87]

Hanson girl,

 

I think it's just a matter of finding positive and kind people.

 

@ssoles will tell you that you're ugly and not pretty.

 

I've had many people tell me that I am just not pretty and that I'll never be able to find a guy who falls for me because of my perceived lack of looks.

 

But those people were bad people. Kind people with tact just don't admit you're not pretty. They would say " you have rewlly pretty eyes and your @as is one to envy but i am not lesbian ( if they're a girl) or if it's a dude, a simple " you're kegs are killer and you're smile is gorgeous dear" are appropriate responses.

 

Nasty people who don't care much about people feelings are the only ones who will outright make you feel like you're ugly. Case in point :One day, I was visiting my countries capital and I was sitting with my then boyfriend and a fee guys and girls. The topic of sex came.up. One guy looked at me with disgust as i confessed my sex confession to the group ( as we all were doing!) and he turned to me and said :

 

" you know Leigh 87, you're really not attractive. I don't find you at all attractive. I can see that you have a few good things going for you but to me you're unattractive "

 

....I never asked for or solicited his opinion.

 

The other month, a nasty girl from high school added me on Facebook. She went on to say that her and her friends could see that i was still very ugly looking and that I would never find love with a face like mine.

 

Then in my every day life, I am caIlled very attractive on a very regular basis by people who have no ulterior motive. I get randoms on the street praise me for my smile or eyes or good looks. I know I am not stunning so it's so sweet of them.

 

Life is funny like that.

Edited September 21, 2015 by Leigh 87

[HansonGirl]

One day, I was visiting my countries capital and I was sitting with my then boyfriend and a fee guys and girls. The topic of sex came.up. One guy looked at me with disgust as i confessed my sex confession to the group ( as we all were doing!) and he turned to me and said :

 

" you know Leigh 87, you're really not attractive. I don't find you at all attractive. I can see that you have a few good things going for you but to me you're unattractive "

 

....I never asked for or solicited his opinion.

 

The other month, a nasty girl from high school added me on Facebook. She went on to say that her and her friends could see that i was still very ugly looking and that I would never find love with a face like mine.

 

Then in my every day life, I am caIlled very attractive on a very regular basis by people who have no ulterior motive. I get randoms on the street praise me for my smile or eyes or good looks. I know I am not stunning so it's so sweet of them.

 

Life is funny like that.

 

Thanks for sharing this. sometimes when i hear it from a third-person perspective it is easier to see the possibility that maybe some of these people are making the negative comment for themselves. (but if it's about me, forget it, i can't step outside and view it objectively!) Like the first guy you mentioned - now what purpose was he trying to serve other than to hurt your feelings or embarrass you. He ended up looking like the @ss. And the girl who added you on Facebook - she messaged you that? or she posted that publicly for you to see? In either case, clearly she's an unhappy person stuck in the past who feels good about herself by criticizing others. I knew a girl like that who I USED to be friends with. I didn't want to expose myself to her toxicity. She was just so nasty and mean. I hope you immediately defriended that girl!

[Leigh 87]

Thanks for sharing this. sometimes when i hear it from a third-person perspective it is easier to see the possibility that maybe some of these people are making the negative comment for themselves. (but if it's about me, forget it, i can't step outside and view it objectively!) Like the first guy you mentioned - now what purpose was he trying to serve other than to hurt your feelings or embarrass you. He ended up looking like the @ss. And the girl who added you on Facebook - she messaged you that? or she posted that publicly for you to see? In either case, clearly she's an unhappy person stuck in the past who feels good about herself by criticizing others. I knew a girl like that who I USED to be friends with. I didn't want to expose myself to her toxicity. She was just so nasty and mean. I hope you immediately defriended that girl!

 

I have my pics posted here in my profile. A beauty I am not, but I am not the ugly troll people have labled me. And you're not either.

 

I am not ugly. I am beautiful in my own way. We ALL are. As long we we are positive and kind, mentally stable individuals who enjoy life, we will likely find a man who adores us and thinks we are just gorgeous.

 

I know what it feels like to just not know where you stand. With all the superficial " leagues " and 7/10 Jargon, it's easy to wonder where you stand. The truth is, to a bunch of horny construction workers, there are some girls and a certain " look" that they will call " hot" among themselves. I am sure the majority of men you walk past wouldn't call you or me ugly, I can tell you now. I have a crooked nose. But when I wear glasses, sun glasses, it hides my nose and I have large 32DD s and a slim body so many of those men whistle and consider me hot. The same men have also been known to see my face and my crooked nose and immediately disregard me for it; some have even called me ugly. The same men who woof whistled at my body.

 

People are largely shallow. Sad but true. But it's only the nasty, vapid and non intelligent people who have the capacity to carry out such insults. What should hurt you is when close friends or family members, who you CARE about, disregard you or criticise something. Nasty bitatches? Who cares. Are they or their opinions important? Man, if I went to s busy pub and someone called me ugly loudly, everyone at the pub would be offended. Because like you, I am a normal girl and people would wonder wtf these nasty biatches at on!

 

The majority wouldn't agree that you're undesirable or ugly unless you have like...something seriously rotten, yellow, pimply or I'd you're morbidly obese and have notable chin hair. Yes, then a large proportion of people won't be attracted to you. But even my obese aunty found true love at age 16 and is still very happily married to him! He was a good looking lad too.

 

My cousin is madly in love with his obese Mexican wife.

 

So even if you are deemed ugly by societies base standards, which I don't quite believe you are somehow, there is still someone out there for most people, love wise.

[guest569]

Hey i think most people experience this and i dont know why, some days you admire yourself in the mirror and others you hide. I dunno whether it is something about your complexion on particular days, or how you feel inside.

 

That sux about your past experiences. Some people are just horrid and try to offend, but most will not throw around compliments without meaning it either. I've been called a lot of things before too but now i actually am happy with my looks (i want to lose a few kgs but thats ok) and some people will find you beautiful and others wont. Thats the same for everyone. Everyone sees you with a unique set of eyes. I guess there is no way of knowing what you look like really.

[camillalev]

You need to ditch your friend that told you you weren't pretty. You need to surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you and lift you up, not point out your insecurities and bring you down. doesnt matter if he later backtracked. That guy is not your friend. Step one ditch those a holes.